I do not own Gravity Falls, or anything you recognize.

Once Upon a Time, there was a beautiful maiden named Princess Ford. He was the fairest in all of Gravity Falls, and everyone knew it. Every-time he walked by a flower, it bloomed, and produced a lovely smell. Every child he passed instantly stopped crying and smiled brightly. Throughout all of the land, Princess Ford was admired by all. All except, his evil step brother Stan.

Every since Ford came back out of his magical unicorn portal, Stan was no longer the prettiest one. Everyday after Ford, returned, he would go up to Mabel, who he tapped on the wall, and say "Mabel Mabel, on the wall, am I the fairest of them all." But Mabel was all like, "Ew, nah old hag. Princess Ford is the bomb diggity, yo. He got e'rybody's attention with dat booty and long gray hair and-"

"OKAY! OKAY! I GET IT!" Stan yelled. After stroking his stubble, he decided that the only way to be the fairest of all Gravity Falls was to send Dipper into the forest to kill the princess. "I want his heart" Stan demanded, and Dipper nodded. After a long journey into the woods, Dipper found Princess Ford beckoning him. "I AM HERE TO KILL YOU!" Dipper yelled. Ford looked up at him with a head tilt and head "Bish, shut the flippity flop up! I'm trying to play Dungeons Dungeons and more Dungeons!"

Dipper gasped, "OMG CAN I PLAY!" Ford rolled his eyes, "Nah, you too basic." As Dipper started to cry, Princess Ford rolled his eyes, "OKAY, OKAY! FINE, GOD, YOU SWEATY WEIRDO!" Dipper clapped and jumped up and down, already making his first graph.

Meanwhile in the evil Stan's layer, he saw what was happening through Mabel's braces and growled, "DIPPER, THAT IDOT! FINE, IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE, DO IT YOURSELF!" Stan ran to his journels and cast a sleeping spell on all of Gravity Falls. The beautiful princess fell into a deep deep sleep, leaving Stan to cackle evily.

Waddles watched the whole scene with terror, "AWW HELL NAW!" Waddles jumped on top of the evil mastermind and ate him alive, spitting out his bones and slurping up the blood. After killing the villain, Waddles ran out of the mystery shack and found the beautiful, pale princess laying before him. Waddles wiped Stan's blood from his chin and leaned into the beauty, giving him a nice, long kiss.

Ford's eyelashes started to flicker, and he saw Waddles leaning above him. "Waddles, you saved me life!" He stood up and embraced the pig. "WE SHALL BE MARRIED BY SUNSET!" Ford gave the pig one last kiss before throwing him up in the air while cheering, distant music playing in the background. Once Waddles landed, he broke the silence with a fart.

The End.

Mabel scribbled the last words of her fan fiction onto her lined piece of paper and then folded it up. "Ha! Dipper and Ford are gonna love this!" The tween gave her pig a snuggle before putting her story in an envelope and rushing to the kitchen. "DIPPER! GREAT UNCLE FORD! I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU!