Hi! This is my first POSTED story. I've been writing for a long time, but this is the first one I've made available for public viewing. I do not currently have a beta so if anybody is interest, ffeel free to pm me. I hope you enjoy the first chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!

"Oh, shoot." She muttered.

"What's up?" You ask, peering around the aisle at her. You're trying to pretend that you're interested in the library, for her sake. But really, you're looking for any distraction. And she's your favourite distraction.

She rolls her eyes at you. "I forgot my card." She sighs, and glances down at the book in her hand, and the list she still has to get.

"Jaaaakkkkeeee?" You know what's coming. And you don't care. But you play along, because it's fun, and because sometimes when she's play-pleading with you to do something, she'll touch your arm.

Which she kind of does. She wraps her arms around your- much longer- arm, and leans her head against your shoulder.

You wonder how you look to all the other people in the library. Do you look like a couple? Would she mind that, if she knew? And you catch a disapproving glare from the librarian, but you don't care. Because it's not like that, much to your dismay, so the glare is unwarranted.

You're bought back to the present by her voice, drawing out her words in her "Pretty Please" voice.

"I don't suppose..." She smiles and looks up at you from under her lashes. Again, you wonder what this looks like, from the outside. Like she's flirting with you? But you know that she's not. She told you once, when you asked why she did it, that it was just an unconscious habit she picked up... It's Charlie's fault. When she was a little girl she learnt all that she only had to do that and whatever she wanted she already had. You find yet another reason to really like Charlie Swan, your honorary uncle, practically another father. So it's a cute little game you play.

"I don't suppooossseeee...You'd get it for me Jake? Puh-leeeezzeee?" She begs, wrapping herself closer to you as she tightens her grip on your arm. And that's it. There was no way you were going to refuse anyway, but there's no way you could now.

But the feeling of her soft body pressed against your side is something you want to draw out, so you pretend to think about it. Which is definitely a good move, because she hugs your arm tighter and hugs herself closer as a result. Which you know is an unconscious thing for her to do, she doesn't even notice. But you can dream.

"Oh, please, Jacob?" But then she hits you with the big pleading brown eyes, and you admit that you give up.

"O.k." You sigh, pretending you mind...When really, you'd do anything for her...Anything. You'd go anywhere, do anything for her. Walking a few metres out to the car-park to fetch a little piece of plastic for her is nothing, nowhere near enough to show what you would do for her.

"Thank-you" She whisper squeals, and she pinches you cheek.

And you hate that, and love it at the same time. It's a motherly gesture, and that's the last thing you want from her, but for just a second before she pinches you cheek, and after, her fingers caress your cheek, something you dream about at night.

"O.k., so," She says pulling back from you (dammit!) and she is suddenly business-like.

"It's in my purse, which is in my handbag. It's the second card, behind my license." She explains.

You're turning to go when she suddenly touches your arm. You freeze. Her fingers are soft on your arm, and you turn slowly.

"I forgot." She grins, digging in her pocket. She hands you the keys to her truck.

You try to act normal, so you roll your eyes. "Only you, Bella, would lock your car in Forks."

"Hey," She defends "I lived in Phoenix 'till I was fourteen. It's habit. We're not all big and scary enough that no one would dare touch our car anyway."

You grin at her, and you think that you're very happy to extend your protection to her as well.

You walk out into the car park, and wince at her truck. You're so glad you offloaded it. It's the slowest thing you've ever driven...apart from a lawn mower.

You snicker to yourself as you unlock the door.

Her practical brown bag is on the floor of the truck, and you open the bag, and rummage around for her purse. Entering the realm of a girl's handbag is a lifelong curiosity being satiated. You've never understood what they need them for. Everything you need you can carry in a wallet which fits into your jeans pocket. Why do they need a bag, all the time?

There is a packet of tissuses, and several band aids... Completely necessary for Bella. There is a small tube of lip stuff...Lip gloss, apparently, strawberry flavoured. You idly wonder if that's how her lips would taste. You quickly shake your head to clear it, and, though you feel guilty, you can't resist taking the chance to unravel a little more of the mystery that is Bella.

There is a tube which, on further examination, proves to be mascara, a chap stick, a small notebook, several pens, ibuprofen, completely unnecessary (In Forks, at least) sunglasses, and... What is that?

You pick it up gingerly, your heart in your mouth. You are not naive. You know what it is... You just don't want to believe it.

Those little pills...You know what they are.

You just didn't think that Bella would...would need them. She's...Well, she's...Bella.

But why the hell does she need them? Well, see Jake, the mommy and the daddy... No, what you mean is why... Bella doesn't have a boyfriend. Admittedly, there's that Mike dude, but you didn't think they were actually dating.

Your heart aches. Down at the rez, at school, there are girls that everybody knows.

Everyone talks about them behind their back. The boys do to, but that doesn't stop them from... They don't respect them. You? You feel sorry for them. They seem to think if they don't have a guy all the time, they're not worth anything. And they seem to think that is the only way they can attract them. They don't hurt anybody else but themselves.

You just hope that Bella's not like that. Not so much the obvious, though the idea of her with other men... But more that you hope she's not disrespecting herself like that. That she knows she's worth more than that.

You swallow back the bile rising in your throat, and quickly grab her library card from her purse, hurrying, hoping she won't notice how long you've been gone.

You quickly relock it, only because she seems to feel better that way, and dash back across the carpark, avoiding the puddles.

You go back into the library, and hand her the card, and she beams at you, and says "Thanks, Jake."

And you smile back and try to pretend that everything is normal- That your world hasn't just tilted on its axis, that all you want to do is sit her down, and beg her to please, please, think about whatever she's doing. You try to pretend that you're not going through the list of her guy friends from school that she talks about sometimes, desperately wondering if maybe one of them is more than a friend, and she simply hasn't told you. And desperately try to resist the urge to just punch them all to be safe.

But surely...Surely she'd tell you? You're Jake, and she's Bells...Best friends who tell each other everything...Well, you think with a wry smile, obviously not everything. But you don't think you could bear to hear about that.

She's halfway towards the desk to check her books out, and she turns back to you, to see why you're not following. You quickly catch up with her, and she looks at you, concerned. "Is everything O.k., Jacob?"

You force a smile, though it feels stiff and painful, and say, "Sure, why wouldn't it be?"

She shrugs, but watches you, concerned. "You just don't look that great, that's all." She says worriedly, her eyebrows pulling together in a sweet display of concern.

You switch the tone back to teasing, because you can do this. You will do this. This is Bella. Your best friend, and...Well. She's still the same person, and, essentially, nothing has changed between you. Now you just have more fuel for nightmares.

"Well, I guess I just can't be sort of beautiful all the time, Bells."

She laughs, her brown eyes dancing.

"Hey, I was concussed! I can't be held accountable for what I said!"

You shake your head at her, smiling. "You were being honest, Bella... It was your subconscious speaking. Besides, who's fault was the concussion? You suggested riding the bikes, and you crashed it."

"If Charlie ever found out about the bikes..." She chuckles.

You roll your eyes. "I know, he'd ground you permanently, and kill me in the most painful way he can think of."

You acquired two motorbikes a few years earlier, and fixed them up... And Bella shocked you by begging to be allowed to ride one, and for you to teach her.

She's had more accidents than you can count, and you're both sure your luck is going to run out soon, and Charlie will stop believing your excuses for visiting the Emergency Room.

She checks out her books, and she suggests that you go to the Diner for lunch, because she needs to go shopping, and there's nothing at home.

"Sure, Bella." You agree...whatever she wants.

You get a table, and she orders a salad. Pfffttt. You order a burger with the lot, fries, and you get a big bottle of coke.

You regale her with stories of Quil and Embry's latest antics in between enormous bitefulls, and she laughs her beautiful clear bell-like laugh. She probably thinks you call her 'Bells' because she's Bella...In truth, this just provides you with an excuse... and it's the most important sound in your world.

Yes, you are, as Quil and Embry put it, "Totally whipped, Dude." You don't even bother trying to deny it. You tell her about Quill serenading Mrs. Seckold, your English teacher, with 'I will always love you'. In front of the whole class. On his knees. Extremely off key. With a limited grasp of the words.

She tilts her head back, giggling helplessly. She leans across and steals one of you fries, giggling and brandishing it in your face, before taking a bite, with exaggerated enjoyment.

"Ha!" You crow "I knew you'd join the dark side! We have fries! You have salad." You roll your eyes and spit the word as if it is something disgusting in your mouth.

"Yeah, I'm joining the Black side." She goes off into peels of giggles then, because she loves it when she thinks of something funny. She likes to be amusing, but she's such a serious little thing that she doesn't do it very often.

And when she does, she's Cheshire cat smug. You laugh loudly with her, even though it's not actually that funny... But she is, with her smugness and satisfaction.

But even as you laugh and goof around, there is a dark shadow in the shape of some tiny little pills.

Eventually, she sighs and says she guesses she should get you home. The Rabbit is not quite completed, which means that she's been the driver of late. But it makes the otherwise boring drive from La Push to Forks far more interesting at least.

She drops you off, with a promise to visit you tomorrow.

Bella seems to have two worlds-A world that is all La Push, and walking on the beach, and a driftwood tree, and spaghetti dinners, with smoke in the air, and bonfires, and motorbikes with the wind whipping through her hair, and big smiles, and "Jake and Bells".

Her other world is Forks, and the Cafateria Crowd-Angela, Jessica, Lauren, Ben, Mike, Eric and Tyler, classes and movies, and her friends saving her in gym, and snow (or slush) fights.

These two worlds rarely meet- Occasionally she will run into Jake, or Billy, or one of her other friends from La Push in Forks with her other friends, and she will make introductions, and for a start she fielded questions about how she knew them- Now, her friends know that Bella spends a lot of time at La Push, though they don't know quite how much. She rarely talks about one group in front of the other-They're simply too different. Two worlds, two crowds, and almost like two Bella's.

Forks Bella is quiet, a good listener, follows the rules, and is almost always serious...and hopelessly clumsy. She blushes furiously at some of the boy's attempts to flirt with her, and spends hours trying to decide how to turn them down, without hurting their feelings.

La Push Bella is still quiet, but she learned long ago to be heard around there, you have to raise you voice, and they like you to talk. She is adventurous (and a rule breaker- Charlie would kill her), with the motorbikes and cliff diving, and she laughs a lot- She is not necessarily the one cracking the jokes, but she laughs at everyone else's. She tolerates Quil's flirting, blushing furiously sometimes, and politely pretending not to hear, and look off in the other direction every time one of them starts using innuendoes.

She wonders sometimes what Charlie thinks- He's really the only one who sees both sides of her. But then again, perhaps she isn't so different. Perhaps it's simply her perception of herself.

Sometimes she wants to merge her two worlds, and maybe merge herself- Tyler would get along so well with Quil... They're so alike sometimes. Angela would love Emily, Leah and Seth's cousin, who's moved to La Push last year. Embry, Eric and Ben are all smart- Though Eric and Ben have little sense of humour, and Embry is sometimes as evil as Jake and Quil. Jessica would like meeting all the buff Quileute boys, she's sure... Their constant state of activity has them all rather fit. Mike... Mike is easy to like, and would fit in pretty much anywhere. And Lauren...Well, she's not really sure where she would fit in, but frankly, nor does she care. Lauren is not a friend-She's merely her friend's friend.

But then she thinks how different she is, and she wonders anxiously what her Forks friends would think of this Bella. Her La Push friends see her in serious mode, especially Jake, quite a bit, but she doubts she could ever convince her Forks friends she's been cliff diving and loves motorbikes.

But she doesn't really mind...And the reason that Jake is her best-friend is that she can be either one, and be comfortable around him, and to him she's all the same- A multi-faceted diamond.

Though she doesn't know this, Jacob thinks that if he was ever going to buy Bella jewellery, though, he wouldn't buy her diamonds. He knows that's what most girls like, but he also know Bella isn't most girls, and that he would struggle to get her to accept it anyway. He would give her pearls. Their soft ivory colour reminds him of her skin, and they seem somehow serene and lovely...Like her. Diamonds are cold, and their beauty is not warm and comforting, but harsh and hard.

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