HARRY POTTER: THE REAL STORY…
Chapter One: The Real Story
O.K. so you have probably heard J.K. Rowling's story on my life and how awful life, and how Hogwarts was my savior of my "awful life" well I'm going to tell the real story. It all starts in England and I'm at the house in my OWN room not under some puny atic under the stairs. So anyways it's pigly's birthday and we are all celebrating at the zoo. And we go to the reptiles house and see a snake. And all out of the blue, the snake started talking to all of us, literally. So we are all as you can imagine flabbergasted (at least we all thought everybody heard him). At first we looked around the round room, seeing if anybody else heard the voice. If the Mom, and daughter heard while sitting in the red couch. If the young couple heard it while making out in the corner (well who am I kidding? They would have stopped making out if they heard the voice) so I assume we can start talking (the snake and I not everybody else)
ME: Can you here this?
SNAKE: yesss, Harry Potter right?
ME: Am I going crazy
SNAKE: No, now get your family's attention. NOW!
ME: Alright not very friendly I see.
So I turn around looking for my family, my aunt uncle and cousin. And I see that they are across the room. So I turn around and I tell the snake that they are across the room and it will be a minute. "Aunty, Uncle, Cousin, The snake. I'm serious just look at it and it will talk to you telepathically." my Aunt looks at me quizzically "are you OK are you running a fever?" I feel so frustrated of course they would not believe me. I quickly respond "no, I'm not kidding just come with me it will all make sense just talk to him." they all share the look that I hate so much thinking "is he crazy?" so I have to drag them their and they all, "my stars! When I heard that voice I thought that was my imagination is it?" she ask me. "well I heard it to and I think I'm going mad. Help me Harry." my uncle chimes in and say the most shocking thing in the world " I don't hear anything, seriously are you all sick did Harry give you the flu or Aunt or Pigly?"
"No it is not that I know what I heard." I reply quite defensively "see I will talk to him right now and ask him why you cant here!"
ME: why cant my uncle not here you?
SNAKE: because he does not have the touch all will come in time. I promise.
Idmeatidalty we all head to the car and go home all wondering what the snake said to all of us. At dinner Pigly opens his gifts and does not whine because he did not get enough presents. Infact he got exactly 7 presents I remember. "what did the snake say about Uncle?" Pigly asks curiously? "Well, I don't know what he means but he said uncle does not have the touch what ever that means." Aunt suddenly chimes into the conversation "The snake told me that I have to be prepared." "Well whatever that means its probably all crap. Lets just all go to bed." Uncle said. I could tell that he felt a little excluded.
But I understood. Later that night I fell asleep wondering what that stupid snake meant. I just could not shake those words " Because he does not have the touch. All will come in time."
Whatever…
