The Beginning
Some call it patriotic to volunteer to fight for one's country, but I have always seen it as a death wish. Neilson swore to me, that he loved me and I tried my hardest to believe it, but going to war wasn't the best way to show it. You see, I did not have the same woes as most soldiers' wives. No. Mine were much worse for my husband was fighting for the North. The constant worry of someone finding out was always on my mind, knowing that not one word could be uttered. The second anything escaped your lips, in this town, every woman would know about it, even if it were spoken in the confines of your own home. That is why I was the only one to bearing such a burden.
It was a Wednesday. For the past three days and that day as well you could hear a battle raging just outside the town. The ground shook as canons were fired. Then the woman of the town would send up silent prayer that it was not anyone they knew that was destroyed by it.
We were very low on food and other things as well, so I had no choice but to brave the outdoors and hurry to the store. As I quickly walked through the desolate street, the sounds of war were more prominent, which made it all the more heartbreaking. I suddenly heard the sound of hooves coming quickly towards me, which was odd because the only ones who rode horses around here were men, and they were all at war, if not already dead. When I looked up, I saw a powder blue uniform coming my way. As it came closer, I noted a golden sash around his waist signifying a general, a Confederate general to be exact. I stiffened in worry like every woman does, afraid of bad news. The man was tall and wore a crisp clean uniform. It looked as if he had never been in battle, yet his eyes were piercing, cold, and grey. The man was noticeably proud.
"Where may I Find the Swenson residence Mam'?" the General asked arrogantly in his southern drawl.
"I go by that name, sir," I answered ignorantly back. The General's face went from what he must have considered a civil face to a crudely evil sneer. I was taken aback.
"Traitor," he spat and hurled a musket and a blood drenched hat at me. I landed on the ground with them in my lap. When I looked down, I notates that the hat was not Confederate but Union; and I started to sob not because I was called a traitor or that someone found out that Neilson. No. None of that mattered now. He was … dead. I could already hear the woman in town talking, speculating what happened. Did I know he was a traitor? Is he dead? What will become of her now?But none of it mattered.
"The house! Mam'!" The general snapped impatiently. I stopped crying, numb and confused by his remark. What would this man want with my house? I could not think of a reason.
"My house?" I asked dazed.
The General growled and then yelled at the man that was suddenly behind him, "Find it! Burn it!" Then he turned back to me, staring with the ice of his grey eyes, "All of it!" The man behind him looked only my age, just barely an adult. His eyes were wide and stared straight at me; yet the rest of his face was a smooth, unrevealing mask. I stared back hoping that he would make some kind of stand. The sadness that lied in his eyes of at least a year of war- broke me, and I went back to mourning my husband.
"Major General Wheeler, if there are civilians in there?" the man asked in a surprisingly firm, emotionless voice still staring at me.
General Wheeler turned back to the man, "ALL OF IT" he spat; the young man gave a firm nod and rode off. It took a few slow seconds for me to understand what they had meant, and then it hit as if someone had shot a canon ball right at my stomach. I screamed trying to get up, trying to worn my sister, my children, my reason for living. By the time I got there it was too late. The house was already fully blazed though that didn't matter to me. I still ran to the door. I still tried, but before I got to the door a man grabbed me. I squirmed and screamed, but his grip was like iron. I finally gave up knowing happily that I would not have much longer to live,and that I would join them soon.
