A Long Walk to Forever
They had gone to school with each other, away from the fringe of muggle cities, near fields, forests and orchards, within sight of a lovely castle that belonged to the magical community.
Now, they were twenty and had not seen each other for nearly three years. There had always been playful, comfortable warmth between them, but never any talk of love.
His name was Neville. Her name was Luna. In the early afternoon, Neville knocked on Luna's front door, near the muggle village of St. Otter's Catchpole.
Covering her face with a fat, glossy magazine flipped upside down, Luna came to the door. The magazine was devoted entirely to moving photographs of brides. "Hey, Neville," she said quietly without lifting her eyes to glance.
Neville's eyes twinkled even though his face was completely grave and aware that Luna showed no sign of surprise.
"Could you come for a walk?" he asked hesitatingly. He was a shy person, even with Luna. He covered his shyness by speaking absently as though what really concerned him were far away-as though he were an auror pausing briefly on a mission between beautiful, distant, and sinister points. This manner of speaking had always been Neville's style, even in matters that concerned him desperately.
"A walk would be nice," replied Luna softly.
"One foot in front of the other," said Neville, "through leaves, over bridges--"
"So, you are in town," she murmured, suppressing her surprise.
It wasn't a question, but Neville replied just the same, "Just this minute got in."
"It must be fairly pleasant to be teaching in Hogwarts," she said quietly. "I do miss Herbology."
He merely nodded.
He was a Herbology professor. His uniform was rumpled and his shoes were dusty. He needed a shave.
Thanks for reading my letter about the nuptials," Luna whispered. "It's fascinating to see time fly by so fast."
Although they hadn't seen each other for three years, they still kept contact through letters. It was only the last letter from Luna that made him want to drop by and see where the leaves would fall.
Neville held out his hand for the magazine. Luna handed it out to him without question.
"It's a pretty book," he mumbled.
"I wonder what it would be like to get married and be a wife," she wondered. "Sometimes, I would look up to the skies and ask Mother how she felt when she married Dad."
"I'm sure you'll be great," Neville replied quietly. "Er-Luna, is it okay if we start walking?"
"A walk would be nice," she said dreamily. "But the wedding is only a week away. Dad and Rolf need me to help with the planning."
"Oh," Neville said, taken aback. His eyes looked down towards the low bush of roses.
Luna skipped quickly but silently towards Neville. "Well, I suppose it would be alright if we go for a short walk," she said assuringly.
"If we go for a walk," he stuttered, "it will make you rosy. It will make you a rosy bride."
With his left hand, he plucked a red rose from the nearby bush. Then, with his right hand, he flipped the pages of Luna's magazine "A rosy bride like her--like her--like her," he said, showing her rosy brides. He handed Luna the rose he plucked.
Luna turned rosy, thinking about rosy brides.
"That will be my present to Rolf Scamander," muttered Neville. "By taking you for a walk, I'll be giving him a rosy bride."
"Roses...always the herbologist," Luna said, staring at Neville with deep fascination. "That's what I like about you, Nev. You never change."
Neville gave a genuine smile.
"Luna...marrying a wizarding naturalist," he replied. "That's no surprise, too."
"You'd like him. You'll be best of friends," she sang.
"Maybe," he said.
"Can you come to the wedding, Nev?" she asked. "It would be nice to see my best friend over."
She called him a best friend. Not sure on what to say, Neville smiled with his eyes.
"I'm-I'm not sure," he replied quietly.
"It's too bad your furlough isn't long enough," she replied in an undertone. Her head wandered off to space.
"Furlough?" asked Neville. He was studying a two page ad for wedding flowers. "I'm not on furlough," he said.
"Oh?" she questioned softly.
"I'm what they call A.W.O.L.," said Neville. "I'm supposed to have a class now and take my licensure exam."
For the first time in Neville's life, Neville saw Luna shocked. Even if she didn't say anything, he knew there was a change in Luna's common expressions when he saw her eyes widen slightly.
"Why, Nev?" she asked, concerned.
"I had to find out what your favorite plant is," he said. He read names of silver patterns from the magazine. Albemarle? Heather?" he said. "Legend? Rambler Rose?" He looked up, smiled. "I plan to give you and your husband a love plant," he said.
She knew he was changing the subject, but she something else caught her attention.
"How did you get here, Nev?" she asked curiously.
He raised his thumb, jerked it in a dropping gesture. "Floo powder to Diagon Alley, then apparition," he said.
"It must be a relief that your grandmother didn't get worried," she said softly.
"I didn't come to see my grandmother," he told her.
"Who did you come to see?" she asked.
"You," he said calmly.
"That's really nice of you, Nev. But the wedding is still a week from now. It's not like you to be so punctual," she said courteously. "Did the larmtims get to you?" she asked inquisitively.
"I came here because I love you," he said simply. "Now can we take a walk?" he asked, faltering. "One foot in front of the other-through leaves, over bridges-"
Staring off to space, Luna let her eyes widen in surprise. Her eyes weren't frantic; they were serene and beaming, lighting her face aglow. After that short trance, she took a step forward, putting one foot in front of the other.
Neville had never been so bold before, but the events of three years ago taught him things. After being an active fighter against the dark side, he realized the Gryffindor in him. And now, even if he was the same soft-spoken wizard, he wanted to take chances.
They were taking the walk now, were in a woods with a brown-leaf floor.
Luna's brow creased, but didn't show any sign of anger or annoyance. "Nev," she said, "To other people, this might seem crazy."
"How so?" asked Neville frankly.
"It must be a crazy time to tell me you love me," she said. "You never talked that way before." She stopped walking.
"Let's keep walking," he replied impulsively.
"Should I have come out with you at all?" she asked very softly, as if asking herself.
"You did," he said softly, with a slight grin.
"Do you think somebody walked in and heard you talking to me that way, a week before the wedding? I thought I heard a noise but I am guessing it's just the stechopes."
Neville didn't want to ask what stechopes were. Instead, he asked curiously, "What would that person think?"
"They'd think you were a lunatic," she whispered. "Like what they think of me."
"I don't think you're a lunatic," he replied gravely. "And neither am I. Why do you think they'd say that?" he asked slowly but surely.
Luna took a deep breath, made a dreamy speech. "Oh Nev, I'm deeply honored by this gesture, really," she breathed. "No one has ever gone A.W.O.L. just for me. Maybe, you really do love me but--" she looked down towards Neville's shoes.
"I do," said Nev honestly.
"Well, I'm deeply honored," said Luna, "and I fancy you very much as a friend, Nev, extremely fancy but..." she trailed off.
Neville waited.
"... I am afraid it's too late," she breathed, barely whispering.
She discreetly took a step away from him.
"Just walk some more," he said remotely. "Have a nice time."
They started walking again. Each had a separate bubble of thought.
"I've never done anything like this before," Neville murmured.
"It would be nice to change time," she said silently, still lost in thought.
"Maybe," he said.
"Oh, Nev! I'm deeply sorry to disappoint you," she said. "Really."
"I'm not disappointed," he said. "I wasn't counting on it. This is very nice, just walking."
Luna stopped again. "I do think it's best we should stop here," she said.
Neville ogled at her, feeling low.
"We shake hands, of course," she said, trying to cheer Neville up. "We shake hands and part friends," she said enthusiastically. "I want to keep our friendship."
Nev nodded. "All right," he said. "Remember me from time to time. Er, re-remember how much I loved you."
Involuntarily, Luna stared aimlessly into space, as tears began to slide down her face. She turned her back to Neville, looked into the infinite colonnade of the muggle houses in front of them. She didn't want anyone to see her like this. She was so used to showing her dreamy side that she wasn't prepared to present her true sentimental one.
She clenched her fists, but her eyes were still extremely solemn.
Neville could still see a part of her face and realized that she hardly changed; she was still the same quiet girl who wanders into space no matter what the situation was.
"I'm deeply sorry," he said sincerely, trying slightly courageously to meet her eyes. "I had to find out."
"No, it's alright," she breathed, her body turning back to Neville. "Although I would have let you known before now, if I were sure we shared the same feelings, of course."
"You would?" he asked instinctively.
"Yes," she said quietly. She faced him, looked up at him, her face quite red. "You would have known," she said.
"How?" he said.
"You would have seen it," she said. "Women aren't very clever at hiding it, you know,"
Neville looked closely at Luna's face now. To his consternation, he realized that what she had said was true, that a woman couldn't hide love.
Neville was seeing love now.
And he did what he had to do. He kissed her.
"Nev," she sighed when Neville let her go.
"Hmm?" asked Neville.
"You shouldn't have done that," she whispered unsurely as she looked down and stared at a small rock. Her eyes were transfixed on it.
A silence broke loose as the silvery-blonde lady got caught up in her daydream.
Then, suddenly, Neville broke it with stumbling words. "You didn't like it?" he asked, ashamed.
"I didn't expect it. That's all," she said remotely.
"I never know what's going to happen next," he replied.
"We say good-by," she murmured.
He frowned slightly. "All right," he said.
She made another airy speech. "I'm not sorry we kissed," she said. "That was sweet, really. We should have kissed; we've been so close. I'll always remember you, Nev. I wish you the very best."
"You too," he said.
He started to walk away from her, but stopped and turned around.
"Thirty days," he said, after a long hesitation.
"Sorry?" she asked softly.
"Thirty days in teaching probation," he mumbled-"that's what one kiss will cost me."
"I--I'm sorry," she said worriedly, "I really didn't want you to go A.W.O.L."
"I know," he said. "You're right. Maybe, I certainly don't deserve any hero's reward for doing foolish things, as always."
"No, I don't think so. I'm sure you'll get something good out of this," Luna said, a bit convinced.
"Must be nice to be a hero," said Neville. "Is Rolf Scamander a hero?"
"He might be, if he got the chance," said Luna quietly. She noted uneasily that they had begun to walk again. The farewell had been forgotten.
"You really love him?" he asked.
"I wouldn't marry him if he isn't a decent fellow. He is the only one, well, apart from you, who accepts me and doesn't think I'm crazy," she said calmly.
"But do you love him?" asked Neville.
She cried, half-amused and half-drowsy, "Of course, many, many, many things are good about Rolf." She faltered, then she continued, "Yes, and many, many, many things are probably bad, too. But I love Rolf, so there's no point in not marrying him."
"Sorry," apologized Neville.
"Don't worry about it," whimpered Luna.
Neville kissed her again. He kissed her again because she wanted him to.
They were now in a large orchard.
"How did we get so far from home, Nev?" asked Luna faintly.
"One foot in front of the other--through leaves, over bridges," said Neville.
"They add up--the steps," she said in a sing-song tone.
Bells rang in the tower of the muggle school for the blind nearby.
"Isn't that a muggle school for the-" said Neville.
"For the blind," whispered Luna.
"Yes, for the blind," Neville agreed, his eyes drifted away in thought.
She shook her head in drowsy wonder. "I've got to go back now," she said.
"Say good-by," said Neville.
"I will," said Luna, "But I seem to get kissed, of course."
Neville sat down on the close-cropped grass under an apple tree. "Sit down," he said.
"Nev," she pleaded faintly.
"I won't touch you," he said.
She didn't know what to believe anymore. If only a Nargle had said those words, then she wouldn't have hesitated. She ended up sitting down under another tree, twenty feet away from him. She closed her eyes.
"Dream of Rolf Scamander," he said softly, half-wishing to be heard and half-wishing otherwise.
She chose not to reply. There was a short silence.
"Dream of your wonderful husband-to-be," he said slightly firmer.
She closed her eyes tighter, caught glimpses of her husband-to-be.
Neville yawned.
The bees were humming in the trees, and Luna almost fell asleep. When she opened her eyes she saw that Neville really was asleep.
He began to snore softly.
Luna let him sleep for an hour, and while he slept she adored him with all her heart.
The shadows of the apple trees grew to the east. The bells in the tower of the school for the blind rang again.
Somewhere far away a patronus nagged and failed, nagged and failed, fell still.
Luna came out from under her tree, knelt by Neville.
"Nev?" she asked airily.
"H'm?" he said. He opened his eyes.
"Late," she said.
"Hello, Luna," he greeted softly.
"Hello, Nev," she replied dreamily.
"I love you," he said.
"I know," she said faintly.
"Too late," he said.
"Too late," she breathed.
He stood, stretched groaningly. "A very nice walk," he said.
"I thought so, too," she said.
"Part company here?" he asked.
"Where will you go?" she asked, anxiously.
"Back into Hogwarts, turn myself in," he replied simply.
"Good luck," she sang.
"You too," he said. "Marry me, Luna?"
She shook her head gradually and forced a grin.
He smiled, gazed hard at her for a moment, then walked away quickly.
Luna watched him grow smaller in the long perspective of shadows and trees, knew that if he stopped and turned now, if he called to her, she would run to him.
She would have no choice.
Neville did stop.
He did turn.
He did call.
"Luna," he called.
She ran to him, put her arms around him, and could not speak.
