Disclaimer- Joss and the WB own the rights, and seeing as how I'm no good in fights, I'll let them keep their stupid laws, but that won't feed my greedy paws. So I'll write a story, yeah that's it; I'll sit and make a fanfic for a bit, but Joss need not worry nor frit, this story is, per usual, bottom-of-the-barrel-shit.
Summary- On Christmas Eve, what's a Jewish girl to do? Why, kick some big fat Santa ass, that's what! And when we're talkin' about a Lesbain Jew with super-Wiccan strength, Santa had better watch out. But can Willow and Tara really save Sunnydale and defeat Santa without losing the lives of their friends or each other? You'll find out soon enough.
Spoilers- Uh, kinda hard to say. Wait, yes, there's gonna be some major season 5 spoilage all throughout, so if you're not living in America and want to wait until Season 5 airs to know anything about it, stop right there. Uh, here. In this general area. You get the point.
Rating- Another hard R for my second full-length fic to go on FF.Net. Sex scenes that practically stand outside of the gate seperating them from the NC-17 area, demanding entrance; a pleasently plump amount of gore later on, spritzled here and there with profanites and layered in a sauce of strong violence that tantalizes the taste buds. All in all, it's a fic I like to deem, roasted to perfection! Enjoy!
Feedback- You know I want it baby. Give it to me, and I'll, w-w-w-why I'll lasso the moon for ya! That's right, I-I-I-I'll lasso the moon!- Heh-heh, guess what I was watching on Thanksgiving...
Author's Notes- For all my bad sporty humor here in the opening, this is a horror story in case you didn't see the category I set it to. It's not a very nice story, though I think fans of Willow and Tara will like it. My point is, if you're a fluffy bunny person, the only fluffy bunnies this fic has will be tortured, skinned alive and disembowled while they're still very much alive, blood streaming into large pools beneath them. If that last sentence offended you, you won't like the direction this fic goes in. Well, actually I'm not planning on killing any animals. In any case, I'm no snuff writer, but I do enjoy the darker side of stories. Look at me, talking about liking the darker sides of things while I listen to Deliver Me. It's a very upbeat Sarah Brightman song for those who don't know. Damn...I'm tired.
Santa and the Jew:
A BtVS Christmas Story
Prologue
1. Santa's Coming
Days gone by and days to go,
Windy state of an afterglow,
Californian town on the edge,
It's savior watches from a ledge.
But on this special Christmas Eve,
A new evil waits to relieve,
Sunnydale of its slayer girl,
Shining light to a dimming pearl.
Kris Kringle is the silent voice,
He shows the girl she has no choice,
The town is his to oversee,
Save for one inconsistency.
His one young rival sleeps in bed,
Her eyes green, with a mane of red,
She's slept the day away in dread,
Inside a dream her love was dead.
The sky turns dark without a dawn,
Diablo craves the sacred pawn,
And blood flows up beneath the ground,
Masking out that horrid sound.
So boys and girls, gather ye' round,
For a chilling tale of silence found,
Cause when old Kringle comes for you,
You may need know of what to do…
2. Distribution
They landed softly on the ground making imprints in the snow. They wouldn't stay there long, for they each had destinations of their own. Gifts for one, gifts for all. Running one clawed finger through his thick beard, Kristopher Kringle contemplated his next move. The Slayer wasn't patrolling on this night of nights, he could feel that. She had been earlier, but now rest and slumber had taken over her consciousness and dimmed her senses.
Perhaps he would greet her after his job was finished, let her see for herself what a waste of space she was. No, his employer had said to make sure she didn't get in the way, and he was not about to argue with that man. Growling softly in his throat, Kris considered how he'd take her out. He really wanted to crush her mentally and spiritually before physically, but the boss had said to keep her out of the way, and there was no way he could do that without knowing at all times where she was unless... Aha! There was one way.
Laughing merrily, he continued to fly through the night sky on his sled, dropping the presents that would home their way into the houses of their appropriate destinations. Technology today amazed him (as did advancing spells and enchantments, all three of which were used to perform the duty the wrapped death-boxes and the contents they held within were accomplishing now) but Kringle had to admit he missed the old chimney raids, where occasionally he'd come upon a startled father or, even better a pretty young wife or little girl dressed only in their nightgowns. Still, this way there was no chance of burning his behind if some inconsiderate person left the fire going.
3. A Late-night Snack
Buffy moaned in her sleep, rolling over and dreaming that Riley was there with her. In reality he was out doing some serious last-minute shopping for the both of them, but he'd be back soon enough. Christmas was a fairly big deal on campus, and Buffy was planning on crashing three parties already. Not to mention one at home.
In her dream, Riley was doing some of the most wonderful things. He'd just gone from licking whip cream off of her stomach to pouring chocolate syrup on her breasts and doing the same. It wasn't as good as the real thing, but she was in a reality where she couldn't tell the difference. Now he was sucking on her toes. She giggled, looking down as he swallowed her foot whole. The feeling was wonderful, as though he was slipping a warm, rubbery coat over her. Then her other foot disappeared into his gaping maw and he covered her calves, nearing her pleasure point. Her nude body writhed in ecstasy as his large, bloated tongue wandered over and in between her thighs. She sighed and thrusted her pelvis upwards, trying to meet him.
He growled slightly at this, shaking his head and her body, almost half of which was inside his mouth now. The cute red hat on his head jingled when he shook as a bell adorned the top. This finally stopped her. Riley would never wear a red Santa hat, not even in a sexual manner. He'd always hated the way he looked in one. Her brow furrowed as he swallowed her waist and she realized she was no longer dreaming. Buffy screamed.
Chapter 1
4. Surprise!
Willow lazily opened her eyes, wondering what had brought her out of sleep. Her arm was wrapped around Tara's naked figure, her body spooning her. She sighed and unraveled herself from Tara, rolling off the bed and reaching for her pajamas. As she slipped on a night-shirt a gust of very cold wind blew through the open window, causing her to shiver and glance over at it. Her eyes widened.
It was snowing again. When had it happened before, two years ago? She hated herself for wondering why it couldn't snow on any Jewish holidays, but the important thing was that it was snowing. She leaned over to Tara and placed her hand on the girl's bare shoulder, shaking it. Tara groaned and turned, her hand searching for Willow. The red-head grinned and leaned over whispering in her ear, "Wake up..."
Tara opened her eyes, looking up at her. "Huh?"
"Do you remember when I told you the tale of it snowing in that small town in California?"
She nodded, grinning lazily back as she ran a finger along Willow's shoulder. "I said you were just trying to get me in the sack with a happy bedtime type story."
Willow giggled softly, taking Tara's finger and kissing it. "Well, I was. But that doesn't necessarily mean I wasn't telling the truth."
Tara frowned, not following her. She blinked a few times, finally waking up fully. On Willow's look she glanced towards the open window and gasped. She hopped off the bed and ran to the window with Willow following close behind. "Goddess..."
The redhead smiled, wrapping her arms around Tara. The girl leaned into the embrace, her seemingly bedazzled eyes roaming the landscape outside. "...It's amazing," she whispered, awe easily read in her voice. Willow kissed her ear before whispering into it it.
"You wanna go for a walk?"
Tara nodded, unable to tear her gaze from the snow.
"Good, then it might a wise idea if you got the whole clothes thing happening."
She realized that Willow was referring to her still being in the nude, so she hurriedly got dressed with Willow's help, giggling in excitement throughout.
5. Quit While You're Ahead
Tara and Willow opened the door to Tara's dorm and creeped out, Willow closing the door behind them. Somewhere nearby "The Acoustix" sung You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch on a radio. Willow never had been a fan of the oldies, but she at least had fond memories of not being able to watch The Grinch that Stole Christmas and yet still hearing all the songs from it and other Christmas classics as Xander would have them on all the time.
The dorm rooms past in a daze as the two young women moved quickly for the stairs, but it was as they reached them that an odd noise caused them to come to a halt. Waiting, Willow could hear nothing save the wind moaning outside and their own steady breathing. The song of The Grinch had oddly faded away. She was about to ask Tara if she'd even heard anything when the noise came again. It was a small squeak of a sound, like a whimper or a door in need of oil closing quickly.
"Do you hear that?" Tara asked in a whisper. She nodded in response, inching towards the West Hall where the sound seemed to be coming from. And for the third time it sounded, Willow taking Tara's hand gently in her own and pulling her down the hallway. It took the noise two more times going for her to realize where it was coming from. Still holding onto Tara she ran down the hallway, closer and closer to the source. After a few more steps Tara caught on, and soon they were running side-by-side.
Slamming through the door to the dorm room she often shared with Buffy (when Tara was out or the like) Willow couldn't see anything for a moment. Then her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she frowned.
Tara spoke first. "There's nothing here."
"I know...b-but we heard something, right?"
She nodded, her grip tightening on Willow's hand. "There was definitely a something."
Willow shook her head in confusion, still speaking hushed tones. "I don't like this, I talked to her before going to bed. She said Riley was going out and that she'd be crashing early."
"Well may-maybe she saw the snow too and went out..."
"She would've told us about it."
Tara couldn't help but smile, if tensely so. "We weren't exactly running to tell her..."
Willow breathed a sigh, turning around to face her. She kissed Tara's lips lightly and touched foreheads with her. "Damn your logic...you wanna go now?"
Tara smiled a bit. "Actually, I kind of have to use the ladies' room. Wait on me?"
Willow kissed her again. "Wouldn't leave you for the world."
"'Kay. I-I'll be right back."
Begrudgingly Willow let her slip from the embrace and travel a couple yards away to the nearby bathroom. Once she was gone, the redhead's smile faltered a bit, then disappeared completely. An odd tug at her senses forced Willow to once again examine the darkened room. There didn't seem to be much more to it. Ruffled sheets, clothes here and there, the occasional stake. Sure, Buffy had become a little careless, but it was nothing to spin over. No signs of foul play.
"mmmpheekgrrl-"
The noise once again assaulted her ears, and this time Willow knew it for what it was. It was a muffled cry. She dropped to her knees, checking underneath both beds, lifting the comforters from the mattresses and practically ripping them off in the process. Nothing. The only other place it could be coming from was-
Upon opening the closet door Willow saw nothing out of the ordinary inside. Just clothes and darkness. When Willow looked up though, she wished she hadn't opened the door at all. A book spells sat on top of some shoe boxes, with a small tag dangling from it reading-
To the greatest friend I've ever had. Love Always,
Buffy
She might've been able to at least half-convince herself that it was for Giles had the small figure of a Minorah not graced the top of the tag. Willow had just stumbled upon the late Hanukah present Buffy had been telling her about. She sighed and inwardly reprimanded herself, and was about to close the door when one of Buffy's wigs caught her by surprise. Actually, it appeared to be Buffy's only wig, stuck in between two large coats.
Why would Buffy own a wig?
Willow slowly put her hands between the coats and began seperating them. She screamed before she'd even uncovered the entire head. It was Buffy, watching her intently from in between the coats, silently screaming her name. Willow backed away, bringing her hands up to her mouth as she felt the fear swell inside of her. The coats parted themselves the rest of the way and out stepped the most hideous thing she'd ever seen.
It was very, very fat. It's most prominent feature was it's huge girth, it's big stomach sticking out like a puffed-up blowfish. The body was encased in a dirty, muck-filled red coat and equally disgusting red trousers. The outfit was being supported by a thick, wide black belt and the ends of the trousers disappeared Nazi style into big black slicker-boots. But what captivated her attention the most in a sick fascination was the fact that Buffy's head was sticking out of this monster's mouth, grotesque and muffled cries identifying themselves as the sounds that had drawn Willow to this point.
Still backing away, Willow tripped on her own feet and fell backwards onto her bottom. Before she could get up the nerve to rise again, she watched in horror as the rest of Buffy vanished within the mouth of the demon, it's face finally revealed to her. He grinned down at Willow and she knew who he must be. His beard wasn't white as many would think. It was actually a smoggy gray, with the skin on his face matching it's color. He looked for all accounts and purposes like the walking dead, and his sharp, rotted black teeth did nothing to sway her otherwise. Santa Claus stood before her, Willow's best friend inside of him and his clawed hands reaching out for her.
She screamed again, this time in rage, startling him as she jumped up and kicked him in his gut. After the shock wore off of someone actually fighting back, he laughed. That was, until she grabbed his beard and pulled as hard as she could. He roared in pain as dead flesh was pulled from his jawbone, and though Willow found it disgusting she held onto it, beckoning him to strike back as she began whispering a spell on her lips. He gave her no time to finish it however as he jumped upwards. A red-brick hole opened above him and he flew up and fit himself through it, though how exactly this was accomplished Willow would never know. As she heard Tara's voice she fainted dead away.
6. Tracking Santa
Willow blinked as she came back to her senses, hoping that what had just happened had been a dream. Her hopes were crushed out though when she saw the snow outside the window and Tara above her stroking her hair lightly. Tara saw that she was awake and couldn't help but smile.
"Hi..."
"Tara, did you see anything?"
She frowned. "I heard you scream. When I found you you'd fainted."
"That was it?"
"Yes...what did you see?"
Without answering Willow shot up out of Tara's embrace, startling the girl. Being back in her own room, she ran to the closet and threw open the door, then began aggressively searching for something.
"Willow, what is it? What happened?"
"I need a map!"
"W-what?"
"A map, a map of Sunnydale!" She yelled, "Go down to the front building and get me a map!"
When she realized the girl wasn't moving Willow glanced up. "Tara please, now!"
Tara nodded, looking very much afraid and hurt, running out of sight. Willow sighed. She knew she shouldn't have snapped at her, but she didn't know how much time was left. After rummaging around a bit more Willow found what she was searching for. A particular book of spells that dealt mainly in investigation. Willow snatched the book from under a pile of texts and ran out of the room.
*
Once back inside Buffy's room it took very little time for Willow to spot the chunk of beard and flesh she'd ripped from the red man's chin. Now all she needed was a candle, some powder and Tara, hopefully with map in hand.
*
Willow leaned down on her knees, unfolding and spreading out the map across the floor of Tara's bedroom, right by her door. Tara herself stood back, watching Willow and waiting silently. The witch pulled out a match, positioning it above the wick of the candle by her knees, signaling for Tara to cut the lights. As soon as darkness reigned she let the burning wood touch the wick, setting the heat and flames to it before shaking out the life of the match.
Taking the flesh piece from beside her, she began to slowly hum and, her eyes constantly shifting between the book and the candle, chant.
"Osh tu wa', custa hemn der koff-" I must find the desolate being>
Willow carefully reached into the small plastic baggy of baking soda (always handy to keep around) and took a small handful.
"Osh na' ca' benka blenka, estu bound-" He resides within these boundaries>
Breathing out in concentration, she began to pour the white powder onto the edges of the map, praying the he hadn't yet left Sunnydale as she lined the entire town with the spell.
"Stekra" hiding>
At this Willow clicked her tongue and placed the piece of hair and skin directly in the center of the map, which she'd had Tara circle for her.
"Repra fer Osh na' ca' deh Osh tu wa'-" Reveal him to me>
Immediately the candle wooshed up in a cloud of flame before disappearing, sucking out all of the air from the girl's lungs. But as she coughed the map began to glow red with a vivid illuminosity, detailing a very small dot. She smiled as she struggled to catch her breath.
Tara kneeled down beside her, placing a hand on her back. "It worked!"
Willow nodded, relishing the air once again flowing through her lungs, but both of there smiles disappeared as they watched the red dot. Tara breathed in quickly. "He's heading for-"
Jumping to her feet and pulling Tara with her, Willow finished her sentence. "Dawn!"
7. Die Harding (The Foreshadow)
Tess Harding sighed and rolled over in a fitful state between sleep and conciousness. She'd hoped that this vacation would give her the edge back, but all she was doing was losing sleep. Worrying about home, what was going on there, if everyone was all right. She wished she didn't care, but she did. She was part of a family now, a real one. And these feelings she was experiencing were pangs of both guilt for leaving and missing her friends.
The motel window slid silently open, letting a harshly cold draft blow through, ruffling the drapes and wrapping itself around her scantily clad body. She growled in a feminine manner and rolled over, shoving her blonde curly head into one of the bed's big fluffy pillows. It took a few more minutes for the girl to realize that her entire body was covered in goosebumps and that her bodice had been blown up past her waist. Confused, she pulled it back down and sat up, still half dazed from lack of full sleep.
She noticed the open window and frowned. Did I leave that open? Huffing silently she arose from the mattress, which was seeming more and more like a plank of wood. Of all the places to take a vacation...maybe she'd return home tomorrow. Another blast of wind hit her in the face along with sleet and some white material that quickly disappeared. Snow?! She ran to the window, the wind causing Tess to put on hand over her forehead to shield her eyes.
It was snowing! She couldn't believe it. She'd have to tell the others as soon as possible, but...not before experiencing the white miracle itself. Turning back around, now as awake as she'd get, Tess yelped in surprise. A small square box sat on the bed, completely wrapped in red paper and graced with a bright green bow. Tess was unsure of what to do. How could she handle a situation like this? Get to a phone, tell her friends everything...or open it first?
There was really no question as to the smart choice, but something drew Tess towards the magical box. How had it gotten inside. Did it simply open the window, sneak past her and put itself on the bed when she wasn't looking? Of course not, she was probably just having a dream. Yes, that's it. She was having a dream, a dream on Christmas Eve. And whatever she wished for would be inside that box. Smiling, scrinching her nose in good humor she approached it. Carefully taking the green bow in her hand, Tess felt the material a moment before pulling lightly on it. Sure enough, it untied and both sides fell to their respective places.
Peeling away at the crimson wrapping paper, Tess Harding was beginning to get the strangest feeling of deja vu'. It was though she'd done all this before. Ignoring it as a feeling presented when having any dream, Tess continued unwrapping it. After she was finished, a plain white box sat before her. Dark writing on the front read that it was sent with love and well wishes from...Max Evans. She grinned as another cold bit of air swept in from behind, blowing her hair into her face. She liked this dream. Perhaps it would end with Max making a suprise visit.
With the powers inside of her, Tess caused the tape along the front of the box to disappear, vanishing into nothingness. Leaving only two flaps in the front to keep her her from seeing the gift. Reaching in, she pressed down and snaked a finger around to get a better hold of the top flap, then she pulled upwards. Lifting it, she peeked inside....and frowned. There wasn't anything truly romantic, just a plain, black looking stone. Shrugging she reached inside and picked it out.
It rested in the palm of her hand, sending a chill through her body that had little to do with the cold outside. There was no symbol on the stone, but it was remarkably smooth and dark. It was like nothing she'd ever touched before, as if she were holding smooth ice that would melt. It's darkness was like an endless hole, perfectly sound. But she didn't like it. She hated it, and she was quickly growing to hate this dream, as she realized it was no dream at all. For the stone cast no reflection of it's surroundings, save for her and something she couldn't quite describe, moving in the darkness behind her.
She turned, expecting nothing to be there. But there it crouched, staring up at her with the darkest eyes. It was the ugliest animal she had ever seen. It was as though a dog had died and been stuck in the ground, rotted for a while, then turned inside out, minus the bones. It dripped saliva onte the floor, beginning to growl. Tess decided she'd make a jump for the window when the stone began to grow in her hand. Startled, she watched as it spread, dropping it to the ground. She screamed and ran for the open escape, but her moment of hesitation had cost her that chance. The creature lunged after her, sinking it's ragged teeth into her leg and snapping it's head back, causing her to fall to the floor. She screamed again, fighting desperately to keep the horrid beast's jaws from closing around her neck, but her strength was quickly ebbing away and her hands were just as quickly losing the struggle.
Tess finally gave up when the darkness of the stone enveloped her, allowing the creature to suck the life out of her. The last thing that ran though her mind was a statement of sorts, something like, "She was a girl of extraordinary power, if only she'd been able to use it..."
_____________________________________________________________________________
Okay, I'll write more soon. I'm working on a bunch of fics write now while juggling all sorts of difficulties, numero uno being the fact that I'm a lazy bastard. Happy belated Turkey-Day people, I hope you're all stuffed to satisfaction, you carnivores. And I want you to know that while you're all going back to school (or work, oddly enough) I'll be here at home, cheering you on and secretly laughing at you behind your backs with my big bad jack-spinning home-schooling self. :0P
Ain't that sweet?
Donald Pike (Lyle)
