Disclaimer: Darn it, I still don't have enough cash! Therefore, Sailor Moon is still not mine. Maybe someone will get it for me for Christmas, eh? (Seriously though… credit to Naoko Takeuchi and her genius for creating SM, and to Velvet Revolver for coming up with the phenomenal song Fall to Pieces, which helped with this fic. You guys are rocking geniuses!)
Fall to Pieces
It's been a long year
Since you've been gone
I've been alone here
I've grown old
I fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces, and I'm still falling
-(USAGI'S POV)-
I walked slowly down the street, shoulders slumped and my feet dragging heavily. I felt weary and broken. It was apparent to others as well that my spark had died. I was a vacant shell, merely existing.
"Hey Odango! Want to go to the Crown for a milkshake?" I lifted my head to the calling of Seiya, one of the Starlights. The other Senshi stood in back of him waiting for my response.
"No thanks, Seiya. I'm going home to study and rest," I stated simply and then turned promptly on my heel.
"I knew she'd say that," Seiya murmured to no one in particular. I knew the others agreed, while silently worrying about me. I was, however, sure that they weren't surprised by my response. I had gradually become more and more withdrawn and sullen in the time since Mamoru had left. I was now unrecognizable, a mere shadow of my former self.
-FLASHBACK-
"I'm leaving Usagi… Harvard Medical School has accepted me into their program," Mamoru said, as he handed me the paper to read.
"I know Mamo-chan. I always knew you'd get in," I replied, overflowing with pride. Mamoru's visible flinch at the familiar nickname went unnoticed at the moment as I revelled in his happiness. He was finally making his dreams come true.
"Usagi… let go… I'm not waiting for you, and I'm not coming back. What can't you understand about that?" Mamoru said coldly, his words dripping with venom.
"I don't understand Mamo-chan. What have I done? What happened to us?" I cried, desperately clinging to his arm.
"Everything Usagi, everything… I'm going to a prestigious medical school in America and I can't have you holding me back," Mamoru cruelly replied. He then shoved me away and attempted to turn around. Before he did, however, I managed to hurl a stinging slap across his face and ripped off the heart-shaped pendant he'd given me. I viciously threw that, along with our beautiful star locket, to the ground. The locket cracked down its middle.
"You cruel, unfeeling Baka! If that's how you want things to be then I spit on everything we've shared," I stated in an icily calm and measured voice. I made sure to draw out every word carefully before finally whipping around and fleeing his presence.
-END FLASHBACK-
I sighed heavily as this memory assaulted me, as it did every day since the love of my life, Chiba Mamoru, had abandoned me. Nothing had been the same since then.
-(MAMORU'S POV)-
I sat on the plane, glancing out the window tiredly. I was on a direct flight to Tokyo, a place I'd vowed never to return to. I could hardly believe it had been a little over a year since I'd left, without a backward glance. Harvard Med had been wonderful while I was there but Tokyo had called out to me. Suddenly I felt a wave of pain stab my heart. It was her, my Usako, the girl I'd so foolishly abandoned; my one and only love. These pains had become a frequent pain since I had left. I had grown used to them. I could feel her misery…
Every time, I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
-(USAGI'S POV)-
Rain and snow pelted the window as I sat alone in the locked bathroom. Not that there was a real need for me to lock the door; the house was vacant after all. I sat on the edge of the bathtub, wielding a gleaming dagger in my right hand. Steeling myself, I slowly began to trace long red lines down my left arm. The pain seeped through me like an intoxicating drug. I was drunk on its heady effects.
-(MAMORU'S POV)-
I headed through the Juuban district, slowly making my way to my old apartment. It was amazing how everything was the same, yet everything was different. A dusky gloom of sorts hung in the air, as if the city knew the pain and sorrow of its main protector. On a momentary impulse I whirled around in the opposite direction that I'd been heading. I had to see her, my Usako. Suddenly pain seared through my arms, and I quickened my step. Something was not right.
I keep a journal of memories
I'm feeling lonely
I can't breathe
I fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces, I'm still falling
-(USAGI'S POV)-
After the first round of gouging I set the dagger down for a moment and let my blood slip slowly down my arms, relishing the feel of the life seeping out of my body. Then, I picked up my diary and began to read; memories assaulted me as I did.
-FLASHBACK-
"Oh Naru, I can't believe I have to show my mom this test. She's going to blow a gasket," I wailed, gazing despairingly at the thirty marked in bright red on the otherwise pristine white paper.
"Aw, don't worry so much Usa! Hey, lets go shopping, and take your mind off the stupid test," Naru drawled excitedly.
"You're right, Naru," I declared, while bunching up the test into a crumpled ball. I then tossed it, and began to walk away. Suddenly, I heard a surprised shout, and turned to see a gorgeous guy unrolling my test. He sweat-dropped.
"A thirty, admirable… Are you stupid, or just incredibly lazy?" he scoffed, while staring at me. I huffed in anger, and tore the paper out of his hand.
"Hey, who are you to judge! You don't even know me."
"Jeez, Odango Atama…you should watch where you're going before you're labeled as a public safety hazard." I maturely stuck my tongue out at him.
"Stop calling me Odango Atama, you Baka!" I shouted.
"My Usako," Mamoru whispered, as he traced a finger down my cheek. Did Mamoru-baka really just call me his Usako? I glanced up to see if he was joking, and was surprised to meet his love-filled gaze. He then lowered his face, and brushed his lips gingerly against mine. I froze at first, and then melted, as the kiss became desperately hungry and passionate. I'd never been so filled with longing before.
"I still love you Usako, please forgive me," Mamoru said, and I stopped in his doorway. I turned around.
"What did you just say?" I questioned, refusing to believe what I'd just heard.
"I said that I was sorry. I never meant to break up with you, or hurt you, or any of the things I've done. I was just afraid of these dreams I had whenever I was with you… Dreams of you dying if I stayed with you," he explained tearfully, as he brought me into his arms.
"Oh Mamo-chan," I whispered softly, and then kissed him. The kiss quickly became passionate and desperate, filled with all the angst and longing that had lingered for the length of our separation. Mamoru trailed his hands over my body hungrily and I clutched at his back, afraid to let go…
-END FLASHBACK-
All the years I've tried
With more to go
Will the memories die
I'm waiting
Will I find you
Can I find you
We're falling
I'm falling down
I sighed heavily as I put my diary down. It was finally time to face my fate. I picked up the dagger, already crusty with now-dried blood. Once again wielding it steadily, I gouged at my wrists with all the force I could muster. I doubled over in pain, and then just lay there. Blood began to flow freely into puddles on the floor. Soon it would all be over; the memories would die…
-(MAMORU'S POV)-
I arrived rather quickly at the Tsukino residence. I noticed the family was gone, but I could sense Usagi was in there. As I approached the house, a great sense of foreboding set into my gut. Something had happened; I could feel it.
Every time, I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
-(USAGI'S POV)-
I could feel myself fading and took comfort in the black swirling around my head. I reached my soul up, trying to attain it more quickly.
Every time, I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
-(MAMORU'S POV)-
I wrenched the front door open, and raced into the house. Whirling around, I couldn't see Usagi. Then, over the balcony, I noticed the closed bathroom door and raced upstairs. I found the door was locked and immediately began crashing my full weight into it. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, it flew open in a whirl of splintered wood.
Every time, I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
I saw Usagi lying on the floor in a pool of blood, still weakly clutching the dagger in her right hand. My heart clenched and I shuddered violently. What the hell had I done? Lord, I was a fool. Thinking quickly I grabbed my green jacket from off my trembling frame. I frantically ripped it apart and then bandaged Usagi's wrists as best and as tightly as I could. I then picked her up gingerly, determined to get her to the hospital as fast as possible. The frantic race against time had already begun.
Every time, I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
"Oh Usako, I love you… Please, don't die…"
Author's Note: Well, what do you think? Good, not good? Yeah, I know, it's my second fic already. But this one kind of just came to me in a fit of creativity. I wrote the entire thing down while I was at work. Anyway, providing I get enough reviews, and enough people like it, I will write a sequel that will be an actual story, instead of just a one shot. So, once again people: READ AND REVIEW, PRETTY PLEASE!
