I love her, you know

My Angel

By Aa-chan

I love her, you know.

People think it's infatuation; a stupid crush that will fade in time. I'm just a kid—what do I know about matters of the heart? More than most people suspect, I think.

I remember the first time I saw her, back in the sixth grade. It was the first day of school and I wasn't exactly in a good mood. Summer vacation was over; I'd slept late and missed breakfast; and I had fought with Jun the night before. I was letting it out at soccer practice. I was doing great, I mean, I was really on fire. Anger does that to me, I guess. Well, I was running a bit too quickly and somehow, my feet got tangled up with the ball, and I was falling, and rolling, and I came to a stop on the sidelines.

When I opened my eyes, the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen was staring down at me. She had stunning eyes that reminded me of cinnamon. Right now they were drawn and worried. She was worried about…me? She introduced herself and helped me up, and I was positively dumbstruck. Kari. I knew I'd fallen for her, hard.

Jun says I worship her, and I guess that's true, but not in the derogatory way that my sister manages to make it sound. She's my angel. With her soft brown hair, gentle smile, and wisdom beyond her years, not to mention those oh-so-irresistible eyes that seem full of mystery, she is perfect.

She is a strong girl, and I admire that. She knows how to stay calm in a situation, seemingly unruffled, but somehow I don't think that's always how she feels inside. Sometimes I can read her like a book, though other times she's a mystery, one I want very much to unravel. When she's facing a tough situation and I know she's hiding how frightened she really is, all I want to do is take her in my arms, hold her and stroke her hair, and let her know that she will always have someone to protect her.

But of course I can't do that.

It hurts me, a lot. Sometimes I think I've gotten it under control—because I know I annoy her when I mention in any way how I feel about her—but then I see her, in these lovely little moments in time. Once it was when we were in the Digiworld, and she was watching as the Tyrannomon we'd saved lumber off. There was this amazing sunset, all oranges and reds above the horizon, and the light made her look so soft, so striking. It reflected in those eyes of hers, and they were just shining, and she looked so happy…

I would give anything to have my feelings returned. I never made any secret the way I feel about her, because I was eager to discover if she returned those feelings. She didn't, and I was absolutely crushed. She looked as though she was trying to let me down easy, as if it was hard to answer me the first time I told her. She was afraid of hurting me, and I knew right then I loved her more than ever, and that made the pain in my chest sharpen all the more.

And now I'm sitting on the park bench in the midst of the snow falling. We're all here, to discuss yet another problem with the Digital World. Cody is talking. Formulating some sort of plan, but I'm not paying attention. I'm watching her—and him, that blonde boy who stole her from me. He has his arm around her and she is snuggled against his chest, and I have to struggle not to scream with jealousy.

My angel is listening to Cody speak, and her eyes have taken on a determined look, blazing with resolve. She looks so brave and wonderful there, the dancing snowflakes settling in hair and lashes before melting away. She shivers slightly; she looks lovely in that pink that complements her hair so well, but she's cold. Her boyfriend doesn't even notice; he is listening to Cody as well.

If I were him, I wouldn't take her for granted. How could he possibly love her as much as I do and yet not worship her? I would give her anything she desired, do anything for her, even if it was just to see those soulful eyes of hers light up and her lips smile because I've made her happy. She is cold now, and I would have wrapped my jacket and my arms around her tightly but gently. He doesn't even notice.

What gets me most is that Kari knows I would treat her better, knows how much I would do for her, and knows that TK wouldn't—yet, she still chose him over me. Does she think that I'm a disgusting person? That I'm annoying and cowardly?

Maybe she thinks that I'm not fit for her, and maybe I agree with that. I shake my head; Kari wouldn't think that about anyone.. She is a kind and compassionate person, and would never view anyone as being below her. But maybe she is too good for me; she is an angel, after all.

I am jolted back to the present as Kari herself is calling my name; the meeting is over and Cody and Yolei have already gone. She smiles at me and asks what I've been thinking; I mumble something stupid. She turns to go, her boyfriend about to follow. I rise and grab his sleeve, and he turns to me with surprise.

"What is it, Davis?"

I swallow thickly and force myself to say it. "She's perfect, you know. Take…take good care of her for me."

He gives me a long look with his steady cerulean eyes before finally nodding. He turns to walk Kari home.

I watch the two of them, his arm around her shoulder and her arm around his waist, as they walk off into the frost-coated trees.

"I love you, Kari," I whisper to the night. "And I just don't think I can ever stop. I hope he makes you happy." And I turn to shuffle home through the powdery snowdrifts.