Tyrion and Varys rode in a carriage together on their way to Winterfell. As they did, they shit-talked the entire way. "You should feel lucky. You don't have balls to freeze off," Tyrion remarked.

"Another eunuch joke? Your material needs refreshing," Varys said disappointed.

"I don't need to," Tyrion replied.

"And why is that?" Varys asked.

"Because I have balls and you don't," Tyrion smiled.

"When was the last time you got laid? Was it Shane before you killed her?" Varys asked.

"I'll have you know that I whored around in Mereen as much as I did anywhere else," Tyrion said defensively.

"Yeah, bullshit," Varys doubted. "You know she's mad, right?"

"Everyone's a little mad," Tyrion downplayed.

"Why are we even here?" Varys asked.

"To defend the North, her future loyal subjects," Tyrion said obviously.

"She doesn't give a fuck about the North," Varys doubted. "This has everything to do with Jon Snow's cock."

"That cock is going to save countless lives," Tyrion reminded him.


Jon rode with Dany on their way to Winterfell surrounded by marching Unsullied soldiers. They past by pissed-off and skeptical Northerners. "I warned you. Northerners don't trust outsiders," Jon said to her.

"Good thing I don't give a shit," Dany replied wide-eyed.

The two dragons flew overhead freaking out the Northerners. "Oh, fuck yes," Dany smiled.


Jon and Dany finally entered Winterfell where they were greeted by Sansa and Bran. Jon embraced Bran not having seen him for a long time and thinking he had died up until recently. "Look at you. You're a man," Jon said to Bran.

"I am beyond that of a man," Bran replied vaguely.

Jon then embraced Sansa. "Where's Arya?" Jon asked concerned.

"Lurking around, maybe killing someone," Sansa figured.

Dany then approached Sansa leaving Jorah's side. "Queen Daenearys of House Targaryen," Jon introduced. "My sister, Sansa Stark, Lady of Winterfell."

"Winterfell is yours, Your Grace," Sansa said politely.

"I know," Daenearys smiled.

"We don't have time for this! The Night King has your dragon! He is one of them now! The wall has fallen! The dead march south!" Bran interjected.

Daenerys eyed Bran. "I'm going to need you to calm the fuck down. I just got here. God damn."


Sansa reported the news to the war council. "As soon as I heard the news that the wall had fallen, I ordered all of our banner men to retreat to Winterfell. And like assholes, many did not heed," Sansa said pissed-off.

"Lord Umber, when can we expect your people to arrive?" Sansa asked a small boy.

"I have no idea, my lady, my king, your grace," he stuttered.

"Why the fuck not?" Sanas asked impatiently.

"I'm only eight," the boy excused.

"Your incompetence is going to doom your entire house," Sansa said irritably.

"Order those on the Night's Watch to come here to make our stand," Jon ordered their leader.

"Yeah, we took an oath to stay at the wall," the leader replied.

"But the wall has fallen," Jon said obviously.

"The oath didn't say anything about what should happen should the wall fall," the leader said.

"I know the oath. I was there," Jon said irritably.

"And yet, here you are, not being on the wall," the leader rolled his eyes.

"I literally died. So, get off my back about that," Jon said.

"They're not coming," the leader said stubbornly.

"Well...shit," Jon sighed.

"Your grace," Lyanna interrupted.

"What?" Jon asked exasperated.

"But you're not, are you? You left Winterfell a king and came back a...not sure what you are now. A lord? Nothing at all?" she asked.

"Its not important," Jon said annoyed.

"Not important? We named you king of the North," Lyanna pressed. The crowd banged on the tables and shouted "Here, here."

"How about the title "mother-fucker." How about that? You can call me the mother-fucker from now on, because she's the mother of dragons," Jon pointed to Dany. "And I fucked her."

Dany gave Jon a stunned look. Jon stood up to address the crowd. "I left Winterfell, because you all were bitches that can't fight or follow orders. We would all be slaughtered. Now, I've brought allies back home to fight alongside us to save your sorry asses. You see, I don't give a fuck if I die...again. I really do...not...give...a...fuck. So, you can take that self-righteous attitude of yours and shove it up your ass," Jon told them.

The Northerners shouted and cheered in agreement appreciating Jon's spunk. "How am I supposed to feed this large army you've brought here?" Sansa asked.

"Sansa, nobody gives a shit about logistics," Jon shut her down.

"Well, I do. I mean, what do two full-grown dragons eat?" Sansa wondered.

"Anything they want," Dany smiled looking directly at her.


Tyrion went to meet Sansa after the meeting. "Lady of Winterfell," Tyrion said impressed.

"Hand of the Queen," Sansa addressed. "Depending on the queen, I suppose."

"Are you talking shit, already?" Tyrion wondered.

"Yeah, I am," Sansa confirmed.

"Then allow me to retort. The last time we spoke, it was at Joeffry's wedding. You abandoned me and made me look guilty," Tyrion said bitterly.

"I'm not apologizing," Sansa refused.

"I could have provided you protection," Tyrion said.

"Yeah, bullshit," Sansa doubted.

"But you had to go off on your own into the loving arms of Ramsey Bolton. Maybe, you should have just stayed with me," Tyrion said.

"If I had, I would be executed with you," Sansa pointed out.

"Except, I escaped to a better place where you escaped to a shitty place," Tyrion pointed out.

"I survived. That's all that matters now," Sansa said defensively.

"With Ramsey dead, our marriage is still a go," Tyrion said. "I am now Lord of Winterfell."

"The fuck you are," Sansa rejected.

"I expect you to resume your marital duties...to me," Tyrion said.

"I will never fuck you," Sansa replied. "Our marriage was never consummated."

"A fact no one else needs to know," Tyrion said softly.

"It's not happening just like your Lannister army isn't happening either," Sansa said.

"I know," Tyrion frowned.


Jon came up to the weirwood tree outside Winterfell. "Holy shit!" he said startled by Arya. "How did you sneak up on me?"

"How did you survive being stabbed in the heart?" Arya asked.

"Because I'm a fucking bad-ass, that's how," Jon replied.

Arya smiled and then embraced Jon. "You still have it," Jon realized of Arya's sword.

"Yes," Arya smiled showing it to him.

"Have you ever used it?" Jon asked.

"A shit-ton," Arya replied.

"Yeah, well, my sword's bigger," Jon said taking it out.

"Valyrian steel," Arya noted.

"Jealous?" Jon antagonized. "You know, I could have used you here. Where the fuck did you go?"

"I had people to kill, like a lot of people to kill," Arya excused.

"Sansa could have used your help," Jon said annoyed.

"She can take care of herself," Arya rolled her eyes. "She doesn't like your queen, does she?"

"Sansa thinks she's smarter that everyone else," Jon said.

"Well, she's smarter than your dumb-ass," Arya chided.

"Fuck you, Arya. I'm now the mother-fucker," Jon informed her.

"I'm not calling you that," Arya refused shaking her head. "Sansa is protecting our family."

"And I'm not?" Jon asked offended.

"Jon, you're Dany's bitch, now," Arya said walking off.

"Am not," Jon said defensively once she was a distance away. "Get no respect around here," he muttered going back inside.