Opening note: Ini adalah fanfiction yang datang ketika mendengar Goodbye Christmas (Eng Ver) – Lay.

Enjoy.

I look deeply at every single drop of water. It's so tiny yet so clear. I can see my bias through it, I can see him. Touch the coldness of window glass, my finger response well by twitching a little. The sound of rain keep ringing in my ears like a song.

I have no intention to remember him, but I can see his image clearly. I don't want to remember him, I want to forget him instead. He, the man who left me because he already found the one for him. He said, 3 years with me was paid off by his love ones' present. He said it softly through my ears while touching my left cheek just to wipe the tears that came down from my eyes.

I just couldn't believe to what he said.

He, Zhang Yixing, I used to know him as a calm, kind, soft, and warmhearted person. He was the best that came into my life, sound cliché but that's what it is. He used to play piano while he's sad. He'd buy ice cream just to comfort me if I was sad.

Rain.

We used to love it. Every rain that happened in 3 years behind was our witness. Rain saw our kisses through the windows, and this window. Every time rain came, he'd lean his face slowly to mine while smiling, showing his dimples. He'd cup my face with both of his hands and give me slow paced kiss. That was wonderful, even words can't describe how fond I was at that time.

I hate rain, because it reminds me of him. I cry.

There, he lays peacefully on that thin bed inside the brown wooden box. There, he smiles while his eyes are closed. His white skin is fairer, no, it's pale. His black hair is combed nicely, he is still handsome.

"Yixing…" I cry while looking down at his corpse.

(flashback)

"sorry…3 years with you was wonderful."

He steps closer.

"I already found my love ones, my everything-"

"stop…" I can't bear the pain, this is too painful.

"I'm sorry, thank you for letting me being with you for so long, I learnt a lot from you, you are the nicest and dearest person I've ever met." He kisses my head softly, like he used to do.

I'm just crying like a crybaby.

"Yes, he found his new dear, my love." His mother answers my inner question. I look at her and wipe my tears.

"Thank God, he must be happy." I say it forcefully.

"Yes, God is making him happy, God is his everything, my dear. He knew that he would leave you soon because of his illness." She cries.

I step back slowly and curse myself for wearing a 3cm-heel shoes. I hardly find my balance until someone hold my body so I won't fall.

I can't say anything but cry.

I hate myself because I hated him without knowing the truth, his illness.

I hate myself so much.

"Don't hate yourself but rather give her bunch of love, you deserve that, my 'always' and 'forever' dear. Thank you for loving me. Goodbye."

Rain is pouring suddenly, as if whispers to me.

I hate rain.

Additional note:

Lagi sendu pas ketika lagu Lay keputar, ya sudah deh…

Enjoy dan RR yah. Ini ff fresh from the oven.