Disclaimer: I just want to make this disclaimer completely clear. Alright, I'll separate it, ok?
HOUSE: I don't own House, M.D. Or any of its characters. That's David Shore's privilege. Lucky.
"The Shining": I don't own any of the characters (I.E., Stuart Ullman, Dick Hallorann, Lloyd, Charles/Delbert Grady), situations(I.E., The Overlook Hotel, Giant hedge maze, REDRUM, the bar, the slaying of the little girls/anyone else) or anything. Stanley Kubrick made the film, and Stephen King wrote the book. I'm just shoving House into the film situations, which, if it hasn't been made completely clear, I don't own. What can I say, I'm paranoid. And I don't want to be sued.
I just thought this would be an interesting story, because House is my favorite show and The Shining is currently my favorite movie, and I'm working on the novel. Contains disturbing murderness. Don't read if you don't like that stuff. Oh yes, and I also don't own part of the title. "Heeere's Johnny!" was yelled in the movie if you don't remember. R&R! And my breaks will be Househousehouse. Thanks for baring with me with the large long disclaimer. This is meant to be a sort of…not parody, but not serious. Because when would any of this ever happen???? I'll go with SPOLERS from all seasons of House, and MAJOR SPOILERS from The Shining. Like the whole movie basically.
How about a little background on "The Shining" for those of you who haven't seen it/read it, hmm? The Shining is about a man who gets a job to be the caretaker of a huge hotel over the winter and brings his wife and son up there with him. They're the only ones in the hotel, and as the winter goes on, he starts to like, lose it. OK, now, here we go. I apologize for all this crap.
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Gregory House limped into the huge Overlook Hotel in Denver, Colorado. People were bustling about all over, and everything was busy. A man with kindly blue eyes and blond hair walked over to him and said, "Gregory House? My name is Stuart Ullman, I'm the manager of The Overlook." Ullman stuck his hand out to be shaken.
"Yes, I'm House." He regarded Ullman's hand with a distaste that he picked up on. The hand was put down limply at his side, and House's lips turned faintly up at the corners.
"Well, um," Ullman cleared his throat uncomfortably, "why don't we go and talk in my office. It's just through here. Come on." He strode off and House moved as fast as he could. "Take a seat here, please." He gestured at the seats across from his desk. House flopped down and started passing his cane back and forth between his hands.
"So, why are you interested in this job?" Ullman, asked, smiling cordially, well, as cordially as he could.
"Because I'm tired of working at the hospital. And basically of the people I work with. They're completely annoying. I'm sure you know what it's like to work with people who are complete morons." He smiled a condescending suck up smile at Ullman, who smiled back.
"Oh, well, I don't know about that. I have a wonderful staff working under me here at the Overlook. Well, I'm afraid that I have a concern or two to voice, if you don't mind."
House nodded. "Go on."
"Now, the job isn't very, well, physically hard, but you seem to have a handicap." House stiffened and nodded. "I'm not sure you'd be able to do everything."
"You won't mind my asking what the job entails? Probably should've gotten that out in the open in the beginning."
Ullman took a deep breath. "Well, heating the hotel and different repairs that might come up."
"So, your concerns are that I can't turn up the heat and hold a hammer and nails? Is that what you're saying?"
"Now, I'm not saying that…"
"Yes, you basically are. My leg hurts, not my arms and/or hands. I wouldn't worry about all that, Ullman. I'd be fine."
"OK, then. Look, I'll be perfectly frank with you, Dr. House. Not many people applied for this job, mainly because of the situation. Being up here all winter by yourself… I'm sure it gets maddening. No human contact. And even if you have human contact… let's just say that it gets hard."
"There's something you're not telling me." He'd used his normal House wit and figured out that Ullman was avoiding telling him something that was wrong, or something that had been wrong. "What aren't you telling me about this hotel?"
"Nothing. It's…not relevant."
"But there is something you're not telling me. What? I'm a guy who likes to know everything."
"I can tell…" Ullman said in a frustrated voice. He didn't much care for House. "OK, a long time ago, about 30, 35 years ago, we had a guy up here. Who went a little nuts. He had his wife and his two daughters up here. He killed them with an ax. He killed them and himself. The reason I didn't tell you was because it wasn't relevant to your situation. You'll be up here by yourself."
"Wait, I got the job?" House asked, partially ignoring the story.
"Well, you seem like you've got the right attitude to be up here all winter. You don't seem to like people. So being alone seems like it would be ok for a person like you. Yes, you've got the job." Ullman plastered a fake I-really-don't-like-you-but-I'm-your-employer-and-I-have-to-smile smile on and stuck his hand out again.
House actually shook it this time.
"You'll be needed back here in about a month. Our season goes from October 30th -May 1st. Thank you very much, Dr. House."
"Thank you, Ullman." He grabbed his cane and walked out, leaving a bewildered Stuart Ullman behind him.
"What have I just done?" he asked himself softly, and shook his head. No, Gregory House would be perfect. He was cold, uncaring, and distant. He could be by himself for 6 months. Actually, Greg House could be by himself for a year, probably.
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"House, you can't just go off and leave the hospital for almost 7 months! What makes you think your job will be here for you once you get back?!" Cuddy raged.
"You love me too much." He gave Cuddy his puppy dog eyes look and smiled.
"No, I don't! You go up to that hotel for the winter, don't expect your job to be here for you once you get back! They better be paying you damn good money. Enough for the rest of your life!"
He turned and walked out of Cuddy's office, smiling. His job would be there. He was sure of it. Because he'd just hatched a master plan.
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"I WANNA GO!" Cameron squealed. A winter alone with House…who knew what could happen?
"You're not going!" he fake-yelled at her. All part of my plan, he thought. "Don't you care about the patients? What would happen to the dying ones without you to sob over them?"
"House, we want to go, too!" the other kids said. Chase and Foreman looked excited.
"Ever since my dad…House, I want a change of scenery! Pleaseeee…" Chase begged.
"I just want to go skiing," Foreman said. "Those beautiful Colorado mountains…"
"OOH, I never thought about that!" Chase said.
"Shut up, rich boy!" House yelled, smiling inside. "Fine, you can all go, but you have to promise to stay out of my way. And there's no excuse for you not to. It's a huge hotel."
"I know. It's gigantic. I've just pulled up the website!" Cameron squealed again.
"If you don't stop squealing…! I swear, dogs all over the US are howling!" he growled at Cameron. He was slightly excited to spend the winter with Cameron. His attraction for her had never really gone away. It was still there, deep inside of him.
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Ah ha. Phase One: The Ducklings, had been completed. House knew that if he got Cameron, Chase, Foreman and Wilson to go with him, then Cuddy couldn't fire all of them. That meant his job(and, okay, all of theirs,) would still be there when they got back in early May. Now all he had to do was implement Phase Two: Wilson.
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Getting Wilson to go turned out to be extremely easy, as he'd predicted. All House had to say was, "I took a job managing The Overlook Hotel in Denver for the winter. The kids are going. Want to come with?" He'd jumped at the chance to keep something as large as a hotel clean all winter. Not to mention cooking in the hotel's large kitchen… Now all they had to do was tell Cuddy.
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"You think you're so smart, don't you?" She sneered at House angrily. "Pulling a stupid stunt like this…well guess, what? If all of them are going," she gestured at all of the hopeful little puppies behind House, "Then I am so there, too."
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A/N: What did you think? I know, I know, it's kind of weird. R&R please! Next chapter: Arriving at The Overlook. Also, let me know if you've already seen this movie. It's a keeper. If you haven't, you must. :) R&R.
