So, I haven't really written a story in a while. Yeah, I just got really busy unfortunately with work and school. But once my crackship actually has this much of a shot at being canon, I had to make time to write a story. My whole freshman year was dedicated to writing about these two basically. Never in a million years, did I think this would be actually possible. But it's all coming together. I admit, though, it is honestly really sad how the circumstances came (WHY DID ADAM DIE AND ELI WOULD NEVER CHEAT IN THE SHOW EVEN THOUGHT I DESPISE ECLARE) about but regardless, I honestly think they have potential at being an awesome ship. Anyway, the fall finale is coming up next week and I kind of wanted to do my take on what would happen. Sorry, it's kind of long... hope you enjoy anyway!
She regretted not being athletic enough because having a quicker pace would be much appreciated right now.
There was no point in running. It's not like someone was actually chasing her. It felt like it, though. Possibly, physically running away was maybe a coping mechanism to keep the guilt from catching up to her. But it already was. She could already feel the water in her eyes.
She kissed Drew Torres. President of student council. Her friend. Her dead best friend's brother. Her best friend's ex boyfriend, who cheated on her with the girl who just broke their engagement. Her step-brother went to his almost wedding for crying out loud. Everything about their kiss was absolutely wrong.
It's funny how that kiss could change her outlook on her relationship with Eli. She wanted to get away from him before the kiss. Now all she wanted to do was find him.
The worst part was she wasn't certain it meant nothing. It was definitely impulsive. Drew was like the endearing yet annoyingly goofy older brother who was starting to take Jake's place. Except instead of harboring romantic feelings in the beginning to platonic feelings it was reverse. No, she didn't mean that. She couldn't look at Drew fucking Torres like that.
Her heart was racing as the sight of him in, front of the crowd of volunteers, came into Clare's view. Eli showed up. She couldn't have been more relieved as she charged into his arms.
"Clare I-"
"It's okay. It'll take a lot of time but I'll forgive you. It was one time. You got caught up in the moment. We'll get through this," Clare started before their embrace ended.
"What? Clare, are you serious?" All she could read was an expression of utter surprise. Not relief. Not disdain. Just surprise.
"All that matters is how much we love each other. Come on, we've been through you crashing your car, Campbell Saunders's suicide, MDMA, Julia, my creepy boss, knife scare, cancer, and Adam's death. We can get through this, okay? Are you all in?" Clare asked as she held his hands.
"I'm all in. What do I have to do?" he asked, holding her hands tighter. Those words couldn't help but soothe her.
"Just promise me it'll never happen again. When you see Lenore, just give the cigarettes back to her and walk away," she requested.
"Okay, I can change roommates and I'll try to distance myself. But Clare, we're both film majors and we hang out with the same crowd. I can't promise that I'll not see her," he honestly replied. Those words did sting, she'll admit.
"Fine. That's fine. As long as you're never alone with her in a room, I can trust you. Please don't break that. I can't go through that again," she said, feeling the tears about to come back.
"Of course. It was stupid. I never want to hurt you again. The thought of almost losing you because of my fuckup scares me," he said.
The doors opened and people started to clear the entrance of the auditorium. But it didn't seem to faze the two. This needed to be settled as much it could be.
"I know. We're not going to lose each other. We'll get past this and whatever else lies ahead of us," she concluded as she leaned in for a kiss.
After their lip contact broke, Eli asked, "Wow, I'm so grateful. But what made you want to forgive me?" Her heart dropped once again.
She knew she couldn't hide this.
"Okay, look, you were honest with me about Lenore so I'm going to be honest with you. I kissed Drew," with that last remark, Eli's glow had completely vanished.
"You did what?"
"I'm sorry, it's just I was still heartbroken about getting cheated on by you and Drew had been recently dumped by Bianca. It just happened," she stammered.
"That is so fucking like you, you know?" the anger in his voice was getting more visible.
"Ex-excuse me?"
"I screw up and you hook up with the first guy that comforts you. First your tree-humping, pothead of a step-brother and now Drew Dropout Torres," he said.
"We did not hook up. It was just a kiss. I don't get caught up all the way to that, unlike some people," she retorted. There was no way he was going to turn this around.
She expected a crueler response but instead Eli looked ahead of her now as he started to slow clap loudly, prompting her turn around and find the current subject of their conversation. This was about to get ugly.
Eli's clap came to an end as he started, "So now that you're done screwing up your own relationships, you have to screw up other people's."
"You did that yourself by cheating on her, remember?"
"Oh, shut up you fucking hypocrite. You know, I actually underestimated you. Cheating with the girl your brother liked and was outted by in front of the school. Your brother got shot at prom because of the gang members you and that same girl were involved with. Getting engaged with to that girl, after you dropped out and took the career in selling cell-phones at the mall. And the funny thing is, you announced having sex on camera, that wasn't even with her. All that, and she ended up dumping up your sorry ass the minute she went to college," he started to laugh as Clare was dead silent and could see the shame in Drew's eyes.
"Are you fucking done?" was all Drew managed to say. And that absolutely broke Clare's heart.
"I'm just surprised on one thing. Why didn't you go for Becky Baker or Imogen instead of my girlfriend? You know, since you are a shitty brother who goes for the all the girls Adam is romantically interested in," were Eli's final words before Drew cracked and punched him in the face. Eli fell to the floor and Clare had to intervene before this escalated further. There was not going to be a fist fight in front of a charity event.
"Stop, please! Drew, he doesn't mean anything. He's just trying to strike a chord because I did the same to him," Clare said as her knees dropped to the floor with Eli as blood started to run down from his nose.
"Treating me like I'm the basket case. Just like old times. 'Eli angry. Eli say hurtful things when he angry.' He needs to hear the truth. He claimed the death meant so much to him yet it doesn't match his actions as a brother while Adam was alive,"' Eli said.
"You made him break into his ex girlfriend's apartment so you could creepily stalk yours. Yeah, he told me some pretty messed up things you did, too. And for someone who seemed to lash out on people's deaths, you seemed perfectly fine after Adam's. So don't you even pretend that you were the perfect friend for a second!" Drew yelled.
The door finally swung open. It was Connor, Jenna, and Dallas.
"Oh God, of course Eli and Clare are involved in the disruption of the public," Connor started.
"Why do you have a bloody nose?" Jenna asked.
"Drew punched me," Eli quickly answered.
"Surprise," Jenna sarcastically added.
"That's because Eli is an asshole," Drew said.
"Surprise," Dallas sarcastically added as well.
"You're the one who kissed my girlfriend," Eli replied.
Everyone was in utter silence briefly until Connor broke it with, "Now that's actually a surprise." This earned him everyone's glares except Dallas's, for he was trying really hard to hold back a laugh. "What? I was trying to be funny."
"Really bad timing, Connor," Jenna scowled.
"And everyone says I can't take a joke because of my disorder," Connor retorted. "But now I made a hilarious one and you guys are the ones with the sticks up your asses," he concluded before making his exit.
Before the other two followed, Jenna finished off with, "Look, you guys have a lot of things to resolve but we have boxes to pack for the needy. So please get over your guys' first world problems quickly so you can help others' third world ones. Okay, I'm done."
"Dallas isn't done," he said. "Look, Clare, so you're willing to kiss Drew while you're with me, but slap me for trying?"
Drew and Eli simultaneously screamed, "What?!"
"I am absolutely offended. I gave you a free beer and good times. I bet Drew hasn't done that. I even bet Mr. NYU hasn't done that," he continued. He obviously wasn't offended. Just wanted to stir the pot.
"Dallas, just leave!" Clare cried.
"Whatever. Your priorities are out of whack anyway," he concluded with before he shut the door and the drama started again the moment after.
"You are never to speak with this asshole ever again," Eli demanded leaving Clare taken aback.
"She's Vice President and I'm President. That's a little bit unrealistic," Drew said.
"Hey, was I talking to you? No. This is between me and Clare. So stop being an annoying little shit," he fired back. "You have to quit. I can't trust this guy."
"I need student council to be on my college resume," she gently affirmed.
"No, you don't. You're already an excellent student and besides, you have the magazine company. That's more than enough to get into Columbia," he asserted.
Clare couldn't believe the absolute hypocrisy he was spewing out. Then it finally hit her.
"Clare, are you seriously going to let him manipulate you like that? The school needs you. I need you," Drew said, Clare taking almost every word of it. The three last words she tried not to process.
"Oh, bullshit. Just hours ago, you were still technically with Bianca. For fuck's sake, you need to fix previous relationships before claiming a new one. At least that's what I'm trying to do," Eli snarled.
"Fine. I'll resign my title as President to Simpson after we box up the food. That means Clare will be the President and you have no reason to tell her what she can do with her life," he said before walking through to the door.
And Drew was gone.
"Finally. Now we can talk," he sighed as he gently grabbed Clare's hand until she swatted it away.
"We're over," Clare said as she stood up, towering over her ex-boyfriend.
"What-t?" Now Eli was the one taken aback.
"Drew's absolutely right. It's like I have to take the blame for the shit you mostly cause. You read my diary, you want me to apologize for talking about my feelings to my boyfriend at the time. You take MDMA after Campbell Saunders's suicide, you break up with me for showing concern in the 'wrong light,' even after I tried my best to make up for it. You tried to win me over on prom night, you pressure me by saying we should 'make the most of your last night.' And it certainly worked. Now you're telling me I can't be Vice President because I kissed Drew, minutes after you told me you have to see Lenore even though you slept with her. Like do you not see how manipulative you can be?" she snapped.
"I'm sorry," was all Eli could say.
"Look, I'm not trying to villainize you. I've screwed you over in many ways, too. I mean, come on, I yelled at you in front of innocent Above the Dot patrons," Clare couldn't help but smile at her own over-dramatic outbursts. She was one to cause a scene.
"Because I was so cold-hearted due to the meds I was taking. But like you said, we've come so far. Our mistakes are signs of that," Eli protested.
"No, they were signs of the moments we should have been broken up," Clare shot back.
"No relationship is perfect. But we try to be the people we think our true love deserves, and that's all that matters. Aren't we better people than when we were before we met? I know I certainly am," he posed.
"Love isn't enough, Eli. You proved that," Clare started as Eli refused to give her eye contact.
"Look let me elaborate. You became a better person without me. I didn't help you cope better with Julia's death. You did. I didn't help you identify your bi-polar disorder. You did. I didn't help you fight it. You did. Same goes for my situations. I really do appreciate you just dropping everything to be with me in the hospital but your love and support didn't cure my cancer, God and medical advances did. The same goes for the sexual harassment deal. The point is just because two people are in love, doesn't mean they should grow together as a couple and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Admitting it is the hard part. And that's what we need to do," Clare said, tears in her eyes.
"But what about Columbia? What about our dreams?" he asked
"My chances of Columbia are slim, since I did screw up my chances with the magazine company. Yeah, sorry you have to hear like this. But even if I do get in, you could have an entirely different dream by then. Maybe I'll have a different dream. Who knows," Clare shrugged.
"But what if it doesn't change. I can't let you be the one that got away," Eli concluded.
"And I can't let me be the one that's holding you back from succeeding at NYU. And what if Lenore is the one you got away?" Clare painfully admitted.
"It was just one time! You know she could never compare to you. How can you end this so easily?"
"You think this is easy for me? Because it isn't! But it doesn't matter. I'm breaking up with you because it's for the best and now I'm going to finish up packing food in there. Now go home and fix your nose," Clare advised.
"You know we're going to get back together. We always find a way," Eli alluded.
"Just go back to New York and live out your college life and let me live my senior year. It's only so short," she concluded before preparing herself to turn the other direction. But Eli stopped her before she followed through. He pulled her in with a kiss.
She pushed him away short enough of it escalating any further but not enough of the taste of lips being a reminder of her love for him. This time, she walked briskly to the door before she could get a glimpse of those green eyes. Those green eyes that could change her mind.
"I'm not giving up on us. I'll skype you, email, call, write. Everyday. Whatever it takes," he challenged.
She refused to look back. Looking back would keep her from moving forward.
What she did need to do was find Drew and stop him from foolishly resigning because he needed to be the heroic friend. She finally spotted the back of the spiky-haired boy, packing food next to his mom, Bianca, and Dallas. This was going to be a little more than awkward, especially with Dallas there, but she needed to get it done.
Alli surprised before she could do anything. Dear God, hopefully Jenna, Connor, or Dallas didn't say anything.
"Hey, so how are you holding up?" Alli asked, Clare trying to figure out the concern was endearing or sarcastic. "Jenna told me that you, Drew, and Eli were having a little bit of an episode outside but wouldn't tell me what it was all about. But I know it wasn't anything but mellow."
If Alli knew that Drew and Clare kissed, she would've brought it up by now. Thank God she didn't.
"Drew just playing protective older brother and trying to tell Eli to leave me alone," Clare lied. She'd figure out a way to tell her the truth later. This just wasn't one the right atmosphere. Having lots of access to inanimate objects, this whole canned food drive could be a waste if Alli Bhandari was mad.
"That's sweet but also kind of ironic. A cheater telling off another," she remarked. Clare wanted to defend him but there was no point. No matter how much he's grown, he wronged her best friend. Nothing was going to justify that. "Anyway, what happened with Eli?"
"We broke up. Which is why I have to talk to Drew, so I can ease his worries. His protective older brother worries," Clare emphasized.
"Finally! Look, I know it was hard. But I'm honestly so proud of you," the best friend said as she hugged her.
"Yeah, you know, you just got to realize when to leave a bad relationship, right?" Clare said after their hug ended, not realizing how impactful her words could really be to Alli.
"Right. Anyway, I better go get back to packing," Alli said.
"Of course. Could you also save me a spot?" Clare asked as she nodded.
Without any further interruptions, Clare continued her mission.
"Hey Mrs. Torres and the rest of the family, do you mind if I steal Drew for a bit. I need to talk to Drew about a possible shortage of plastic forks," Clare lied, observing Drew possessing no expression.
"Sure, I don't mind," Drew's mom allowed.
"Sure, indeed," Dallas said under his breath.
Clare dragged Drew along to a spot where nobody could be in earshot of their future conversation.
"Okay, what did you really pull me aside for?" he frowned.
"Hey, I tried my best to make you look good in front of your family at how important you are as President of this school. Now spare me the attitude," Clare said.
"It doesn't matter anyway. I'm not going to be President after this. You finally got what you wanted. Your boyfriend and the stupid title," he scoffed.
"No, I get neither. Because I broke up with my boyfriend which means you're still President. Now stop being such a Drama Queen. That's my job, remember," Clare teased, couldn't help but smile at how much he brightened with that comment.
"That's awesome. I can't believe you actually did it," Drew marveled.
"Yeah, me too. Which is why I wanted to tell you. Anyway, you can get back to your table. Just because my relationship ended doesn't yours has to," Clare remarked and turned around. Then she felt a hand gently grab her forearm, making her hairs stick up and her stomach drop down. She refused to make it obvious, though.
Clare turned back around and calmly said, "What? Oh, just tell Bianca and everyone that you told me there were extra utensils in the cafeteria. President Drew Torres saves the day!" The confused expression in his eyes didn't help her act.
"Are we really not going to talk about what happened?" he had to bring it up. He could've have just brushed this under the rug.
"You mean the kiss? We were just caught up in our ordeals. I mean you kissed Zoe Rivas after Bianca broke the news. I don't see you confronting her about it," Clare shrugged as nonchalantly as she possibly could.
"That's because that kiss meant absolutely nothing. Clare, there's something between us, and you know it," he objected.
No. There was already enough baggage with Eli. Drew was not going to add to it.
"There isn't. Are you really just going to give up on Bianca that easily for an impulsive kiss?" Clare offered.
"Didn't you just do that with Eli?"
"Not because of you. God, you can be so self-absorbed sometimes. Eli and I are just not right for each other. But you and Bianca, you two have a shot. No matter how my ex tried to portray it, you guys have something really special. Everyone knows it. Your mom knows it. Adam knows it," Clare said.
"Maybe it was in high school. I mean we grew together in high school, but now because of certain circumstances, maybe we're supposed to grow apart. And being together holds us back from actually growing. I don't know, that probably doesn't make sense to you," Drew said.
"No it does," was all Clare could mutter.
"You know, I thought being wherever she was once I graduated was the only thing I had going. Now that it's over, I realized I had other things to look forward to. Student council, actually getting better grades, being with my friends, and more time to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life. Thank you for giving me that push," Drew confessed.
"Save your thanks until the day we walk together for our diplomas,"
"Look, I'm not going to push you about what happened today. I don't want to lose what we already have for something more. Just if you're ever ready to talk about it, you know I'll be ready,"
"Thank you but to be honest, I don't know if I'll ever be ready," Clare admitted before she walked away. Thankfully, Drew let her.
All she needed was some space and time to think. Her house and Thanksgiving break would provide it. The breakup, the kiss, everything would be evaluated once her time here had ended. Jake was coming home for the holiday, maybe he could give some outsider information. Oh God, she could only imagine. Hey so Eli cheated on me, so I kissed the guy who cheated on your ex-girlfriend. What do you think I should do? Get back together with Eli or admit her feelings to Drew?
No, why was she even considering Drew Torres an option. Eli Goldsworthy wasn't an option either. She really needed to sort out these feelings.
This really was going to be a long Thanksgiving break.
So, thoughts? My writings obviously a little rusty. It's been a while, okay! Also, what do you think's going to happen in the next episode and potentially to everything that is Eclare/Drianca/Clew? (I'm actually sort of curious about what's going down with Zoe and Maya, too) My prediction is the writers just want to stir up some drama which I think is absolutely hilarious. I mean I wish they kind of did that with Eli and Bianca after their fallouts with Drew and Clare (I mean they would've been so hot and badass together, come on. Even Munro and Alicia said in an interview that they thought Eli and Bianca would cross paths romantically) But in the end, they'll probably have Eclare and Drianca be endgame. Which is cool, I'm honestly waiting for the tenners to make their mark. In the meantime, let's just enjoy the ride while it lasts! Well, I mean, if you ship Clew anyway. If not, just wait a little and the OTP's will be back. This might be just a one-shot, depending on the feedback I get. I do have another story I'm going to post (it's Clew and humor) but just deciding if I'll connect it to this or just have it be a stand-alone. What do you think?
