I was headed toward the border to see how bad it was. I had sent invite after invite to Germany to talk to him about losing World War Two. He never came and nor did he ever reply... until last night. The tone of the letter was sad and there were even tears on the letter. Gilbird, my pet friend bird, had brought the letter back. I had sent him with a letter that morning and I was wondering why he hadn't come back.
The letter said: Dear großer bruder von mir, this is Deutschland. I am very regretful to tell you the truth. The reason I won't come over: there is a wall separating our lands. I have sent soldiers to see if there is a break in zhe wall. Zhere are none. If I were to come over I would need a plane and zhey have watchful eye on me to make sure we are not together. Austria told me zhat. I miss you.
That got me thinking on what he could possibly mean by a wall separating us. So I was headed there with my adviser, not that I needed one.
I was laughing at a joke that my Pope had said. It was about Austria and Hungary. I continued to chuckle and then laughing harder as he told more and more jokes. I was losing my balance with my awesome laughter when I heard Germany calling me. He seemed scared.
"Gilby! Gilby help! Austwia is invading and I down't have enough soldiers to fight him off! Help me Gilby!" I turned around, my cape flying behind me. I bent down and he came running into my arms, sobbing. "I'm scawed, Gilby!" Germany was very little, only four years old if I had to give an age.
"Calm down Ludy. Calm down, everything is going to be okay. Tell me what's going on and how many soldiers are there? What does he want?"
"H-he said that when he is done with me zhat I will be an Austrian colony. I don't wanna! I don't wanna be a colony! I wanna stay with you!" He then fell into hysterical crying. I picked him up and cradled him.
"If it's a fight he wants then it's a fight he'll get. He's declared war on Prussia! Gather the troops! I need to put Germany somewhere safe." My cradling him had stopped most of his cries. He held onto my shirt in his tiny fists. His head was on my shoulder. I carried Ludwig to my house as I made plans to attack Austria on all three sides. My side, Germany's side, and inside his own home. I had enough soldiers for that, in fact I had tons of them.
I carried Ludy to his room that was inside my house. He would come and go as he pleased between our houses and because we lived right next to each other, our territories at least, this was possible. I sat down on his bed and held him in my lap. I had ten minutes before I was shoving off to go fight the battle.
"Ludy, I need you to promise me something. Can you do that?"
"Gilby, we have to go save my home! Now!" I kissed his forehead.
"And I will. But I need you to promise you will stay here, where it is safe. Can you do that for me?"
"I can't let you go to war all by yourself! You could get hurt! I don't want you hurt!"
"I know and I don't want you hurt either. That is why you are staying here. I will take charge of your trwoops and mine and we will win zhis war. Prussia is too awesome to lose any battles, if you follow me then you are doubting my awesomeness." He gasped.
"I would never doubt your awesomeness!" I beamed.
"Zhen it is settled, you are staying here where it is safe." I gave him a bear hug and let go before I crushed all the air out of him. "Zhe awesome Prussia will be back! No bruder of mein is going to be seized by damn bastard Austria!" I ran out the door, ran out the house, and got onto the war horse I had been given. I grabbed the reins and pulled to the left and had the horse turn around. "Who's ready to be awesome and kick some un-awesome Austria ass?!" They threw their fists in the air and cheered.
I snapped the reins and the horse charged down the road and into the next street as we headed toward the battle. Half way down I heard a sad shout from behind. "Gilby! Wait for me! Wahhh!" I heard Ludy bawling for me. I was upset I had to leave him this way but I kept in mind that I was defending him.
When we reached near the battlefield, we had slowed down to a trot, I snapped the reins again. "Charge!" I pulled out my sword and began swinging at Austria's troops. Though when I spotted Austria, I charged at him, sword pointed outward. When he saw me he kind of paled and barely dodged my sword. I jumped from my horse and sent it onward to fight. I turned to Austria.
"What do you zink you are doing? Challenging me in zhis manner? You surely have a death wish." I thrusted at him and our swords clanged together. I swung and swung at Austria.
Two days had passed, some of the soldiers took turns fighting and sleeping because I had so many. I took only one break and then something horrible happened. Something I never expected. He had Germany! I had seen a flash of a small child swinging around a sword and when I looked to watch the image I recognized Ludwig. "Leave my bruder alone you jerks!" I tried to fight my way over toward him but Austria got to him first. I glared at Austria and ran as fast as I could, dodging between all the fighters. I was close to saving Ludwig when his sword was flung out of his hands.
"OW!" He backed up but Austria grabbed him by the shirt. I swung my sword at Austria but he moved Ludy between us. I stopped my swing just in time. "Let me down! Let me down! Let me down you damn bastard Austria! My großer bruder will hurt you very badly for this! Damn bastard! Gilby! Gilby help!" He struggled as hard as possible.
"Put my kleiner bruder down before my awesomeness kills you!"
"You try anything and I will use him as protection again."
"Uh." I stared at Ludy. I don't know what to do. I can't risk hurting him! The fighting had all stopped. They were watching us. One of my men came over and whispered in my ear.
"We have captured the target and have brought it to the battlefield. Ready to bring it to the battlefront."
"Do it quickly!" In no time I had Italy in my hands. I put my sword to her throat. Austria was surprised.
"How did you-"
"You thought I was just going to attack you? I attacked your home and your border with me. I wasn't just going to let you get away with zhis."
"Let Italy go."
"Germany first." Neither of us moved. The captives were crying for help. "Tell you what Austria. Drop all your weapons five feet from you. I will do the same." He watched Italy, worried. He began to do what I said. I followed suit.
Austria walked up to me and offered Germany. I took Germany and gave him Italy. Germany grabbed for me, clinging for his life. I handed Germany to my Italy deliverer.
I grabbed Austria's shirt. "If I ever hear zhat you try to conquer Germany again I will attack your house and capture your leader. Now get out." I threw him from me. He stood up, protecting Italy, and grabbed his weapons.
"Retreat!" Quickly his troops obeyed.
"Stand down!" I called to my troops. "Be ready for treachery!" His troops and himself left without any problems. "We win! Prussia is awesome!" I threw my fist in the air, smiling. I knew I was awesome!
"Gilby!" I turned to see Germany struggling to get out of his holders grasp. I grabbed him by his waist and held him instead. "We win!" He cheered beaming up at me. I ignored him for the moment.
"Let us go home and drink beer to congratulate zhe awesome win zhat we awesomely gained over un-awesome Austria." They cheered and they got on their horses. "Ludy how did you get here?"
"I rode my horse!" I found his horse and my war horse. I grabbed the reins and tied it to my horse. I got on my own horse and sat Ludy in front of me.
"Hold on tight Ludy." He nodded and held on to my horse. I grabbed the reins and pulled to the right and my horse turned around. I snapped the reins to get my horse to a canter and we made our way back to my house. I was very careful in watching Ludy to make sure he didn't fall off. If he did look like he was falling off I would put my arm around him and center him again.
When we got back to the city I slowed the horse to a walk. We made our way back to the house and the soldiers made their way to the bar. I would take Ludy too but first I wanted to check him for injuries. I picked up Ludy and put the horses back in their pens. My house keeper started working on taking care of the horses. I carried Ludy inside the house and sat down in the living room.
I set him on the couch beside me and took his hands in mine. I turned them over and saw his palms were scraped. I frowned. That was not awesome. He saw the scrapes and his eyes began to water. Uh oh. If I don't do something quick Ludy is going to cry! He was beginning to feel the pain. Then he looked at me and gasped. I had been cut on my arm, bruised a bit on my leg, and scratched on my cheek. He tried to put his hand on my cut but I grasped a bit harder.
"No, Ludy. We have to help your hands first. Zhey weren't hurt zhat badly. After we make the pain go away I need to have a chat with you."
"Am I in trouble Gilby?"
"Yeah but your punishment will come later."
"You're not going to spank me, are you?" He whined. I didn't answer. I knew I should but I would make up for it. I knew exactly what I was going to do but first I had to help him. I picked him up and carried him to the bathroom. I sat him down and grabbed some soap. He began to struggle. "No Gilby! Don't! I'm sorry!"
"Hey, hey! I'm not punishing you. I'm helping you Ludy. Please sit still while I heal your wound." His eyes were watery but he nodded. "I will give you a treat for being so brave." I rubbed soap on his hands and into the scrapes, gentle at all times. When the soap was setting in he began to bawl.
"It burnsss. Giblyyy. Ssstop." He struggled to get away. I expected this. He was brave in the battle and he was brave to even let me do this. I put my forehead to his.
"Shush my little warrior. Everything will be okay. Awesome Prussia is here. Awesome Prussia is going to wash out zhe soap now. Is zhat okay?" He nodded, leaning his forehead into mine. I moved him ever so gently towards the water. I began rinsing his hands clean and he just whimpered at the pain. "Zhat's my little warrior. Continue like zhis and no one will ever dare to try conquering you again. Everyone will tremble with fear at zhe mention of your very name." He giggled. Awesome Prussia is awesome. I poured cold water over his hands and repeated the cycle. I poured water on his hands to finish that step.
"Gilby, what about your wounds?"
"Prussia is awesome and doesn't need help right now. You do. Now we need to let zhe scrapes heal. I have a special healing solution. It will heal faster, want to try?" He nodded. I picked him up and carried him to the storage. I sat him down on a shelf before grabbing the solution. "Be zhe brave little warrior you are and let me finish zhis please?" He nodded and held out his hands.
I began rubbing the solution into his scrapes. He wailed but bit his lip. After finishing up I left and washed my hands. I went back and put up the solution. I smiled. I approached Ludy and set my hands on both sides of him. He looked up in fear. I smiled and then put a hand on his stomach and began to tickle him. He giggled and waved his hands at me.
"Stop Gilby. Stop, zhat tickles." I smiled.
"Surrender and I will!" He shook his head.
"Never!"
"Everyone always surrenders to zhe awesome Prussia! For Prussia is awesome! To say no to Prussia is to be un-awesome!" He scooted back and I took a step closer.
"Fine Gilby wins!" I smirked playfully.
"Zhat's right, Prussia wins!" I picked him up and carried him to the kitchen and set him on the counter. "What do you want for your reward for being brave? Zhen we'll be leaving to get your other reward."
"Pumpkin biscuits!"
"Pumpkin biscuits it is zhen! You may have two."
"Three."
"Zhe awesome Prussia bestows two pumpkin biscuits to Germany." I picked up the biscuits and handed them over. Germany stood up and walked to the biscuits. I snatched the plate. "No, no, no Ludy. I said two." He stomped his foot but started eating the ones he was holding. "Good Ludy." I put the biscuits on the opposite counter.
When he finished he pointed at them. I picked him up and set him on the ground. "I want another one!" He shouted. I smacked him twice. He grabbed his bottom and pouted up at me.
"One for your breaking promise and another for the tantrum. Both of those are not awesome and awesome Prussia and awesome Germany do awesome things, not un-awesome things. I said I would give you two biscuits and I gave you two biscuits. You can have more after dinner. Now we are headed off."
I took him to the pub and sat him in a chair next to me. I sat down and raised my two fingers to order beer. "We will have your best beer in zhis place." I pulled out the money and he gave us a bottle with two shot glasses.
When we got home I decided now was the time to tell him what his punishment was. "Ludwig, your punishment is zhat you are grounded for half a month." He glared at me.
"What? You can't do zhat to me! We don't live together so it wouldn't work!" I gave him another smack.
"Back talk is also not awesome. I will keep you here for zhose two weeks."
I reached the border and saw that there indeed was a wall there. It was made of concrete. The reason the awesome Prussia had not known was because they had kept me in quarantine. Inside the 'barrier'.
I walked the wall and my border was indeed blocked off. I would make my way all the way around the border and see if there were an opening. I really wanted to see Germany. I looked at the brick wall and grabbed on before beginning to climb up but I saw, as I got higher up the wall, that there was barbed wire across the top. The wires were so close not even my awesome pinky could fit through. I could see through them though. I climbed my way back down.
They damn it fucking trapped me here! I kicked the wall and grimaced in pain. I don't have any cannons because they took them away after the war. I hope Germany's okay. As well as Japan and Italy. I groaned and Gilbird sat on my shoulder.
"Can you go see if zhere is any holes in zhis wall?" Gilbird flew up and off again, he wanted to see Germany and I together again as much as we did. The awesome Prussia will not be held back by a stupid concrete wall!
"The awesome Prussia will not be held back by a stupid concrete wall!"
