a/n: I realize many people do not necessarily remember every manga chapter so I will give some notes about Gintama Chapter 431 - 433. Personally, I found it quite confusing reading through it but after three times I think I have a pretty good idea of what it's about.
- Ikumatsu originally started off poor but as she grew up her parents successfully built up a dry-goods business by the name of Nishiki-ya. Now she is quite wealthy/high-class comparatively, but prefers to work/run a ramen shop.
- Ikumatsu's father left her and her mother from an early age. The arc is centered around her relationship with her missing father, who is later revealed to have long-term memory loss and is now a homeless man. Katsura is the one who finds her father for her because let's face it...
- Katsura truly loves this woman, and it's sad when he considers himself not able to match up to Daigo, her late husband who passed away in a Jouishishi violent incident. Other than Madao/Hatsu I cannot think of a more canon couple in Gintama.
With all ado, please enjoy my Katsura/Ikumatsu fanfiction!
-x-
You think you're too old for love, and you sigh wistfully to yourself when a teenage couple walks into the shop that you and your husband once made together on a promise. This shop has seen better days back when he still held your hand and brushed his thumb against yours and you never questioned the ending, assuming it was just the beginning of a legendary start. Your husband was handsome and hard-working and the only man who never made fun of you for wearing shoes that your mother mended over the dim light of a fireplace at night, and so you fell in love with him and it was never a question of whether he was the right choice.
You used to love the ramen shop. Nowadays you don't love it as much as you loved your husband, which is a thought that drives home guilt when you unlock the doors for business and prepare the daily broth. You don't love the regulars as much as the memory of your husband smiling and joking around with the customers who come here for the company as much as the good food that satisfies them while they endure the gruel of everyday life.
No, instead you're thankful for the ten hours of standing on your feet so that you don't slip into dreams where he comes and speaks to you, because that makes rising up at the crack of dawn even worse. The bridge to a river is but two blocks away. There's been times where you've looked over the bridge and thought about jumping down. But you don't because there is the shop that stands and you'd rather run it than leave it to your damn brother-in-law, who would probably sell it to somebody who doesn't give a damn. And anyways, what would you do if it wasn't for that shop? Where would you go?
So this is what you do for five years after one of your regulars say that there's been an accident: you get up, you get dressed, you make yourself a cup of hot strong tea and prepare for a long day of work. Your shop isn't going to be the number one ramen stop in Edo ever since your husband died but here you are, trying to cope in a store that is too large for you to handle.
Your mother visits, dressed in the finest silks and sashes from Nishikiya, and though she purses her lips at what you're doing, her eyes soften. You grew up poor, and you'll never forget it. But your mother is a stronger breed of woman than you were, raising you and the business single-handedly without any help from your father. She knows how to move on. You don't.
"It's good," she says when she takes a sip of your ramen and you let out a breath of relief. Then she gets to the point:
"Are you happy?"
And you don't know how to answer that question. The answer is probably no, but when you're an adult, you grow up without needing your parents to comfort you because they deserve better. So you smile and nod yes, and she smiles back.
"Good." Your mother never questions why you've stayed single all these years, unlike so many of the ladies that patronize your shop. After all, she never needed a man. Her silvery head of hair is impeccably coiffed and her nails are perfectly manicured, whereas you're wearing the same apron that you bought from a discount store three years ago with the soup stains still lingering like a bad school photograph. She leaves and you can smell her expensive perfume that clashes with the musky scent of ramen broth. She's left too big of a tip, as always, but you tuck it into your apron and smile sadly to yourself.
It's because of her that you finally load up the laundry machine. Getting your hands dirty has suited you better than living a life of luxury, but at the very least your customers should see you with clean clothes each day, you tell yourself.
And now you're hanging your underwear to dry, not thinking too hard about it, just focusing on what you need to do tomorrow when someone walks right into your laundry line.
His hand is holding your favorite bra and you react as any normal woman, especially when he lies through his teeth and pretends that he's Santa Claus. You throw the basket of laundry at him and hopes he goes away.
But he screams out his apology, bowing and pressing his head to the rooftop and you figure that calling the police is too much trouble at this hour. The stranger is far too handsome and polite to be a panty-thief, so you plan on sending him off with a bowl of ramen as an apology.
He takes a sip of the broth and then introduces himself bluntly: "I'm Katsura. My favorite food is soba."
Right off the bat you know you've picked up someone who pisses you off, but you're intrigued. He's the first man you've met in a while who isn't intimidated by you one bit, nor does he realize that you're the type of woman who wants to be left alone to nurse your wounds.
He asks to stay at your place, and you hesitate before the cold reminder that you are a widow drops down in your stomach. Before you can decide the door slides and the slimy presence of your brother-in-law pops in for an unexpected visit.
You hate Daigo's brother; he's the opposite of what your husband was like and he's always harassing you for money. Maybe he's heard that you came from the Nishiki family even though you've never mentioned it to anybody; either way he keeps bugging you and in moments of weakness, you hand it over because he's a thug. It's just easier to deal with thugs momentarily even though you know he'll never go away.
Then he justifies robbing you openly by reason of the Joui rebellion. You snap with the flicker of self-righteous fury and even though he is a thug, nothing justifies that smear on your husband's death; you slap him with all your strength and yell, "You're no rebels! You're just a bunch of losers trying to look good!" You turn away, trying not to sob because you won't give them the dignity of crying in front of them. Your husband is dead and has been for ages, and yet everyone expects you to get over it like the fast efficiency of a light switch.
Katsura looks on silently, but you already know everything. You know from the posters outside the Shinsengumi compound that he's the leader of the Jouishishi movement. You know he probably had a hand in that terrorist attack years ago that ended your husband's life. But what you don't know is that he drives your brother-in-law and his cronies away by dropping laxatives in the fried rice. And you sit on your stool, half stunned while he throws away the rice in the trash and wipes down the tables.
You never asked anybody for help after Daigo died. And now it comes in form of possibly the country's most dangerous terrorist in your husband's old ramen shop.
The man's leg is wounded, though, and you avoid thinking about your late husband and more about owing favors. He's asked to stay and you agree as long as he helps out. Outside the Shinsengumi lurks, waiting for him, and yet for once you don't care if you're breaking the law or not. You've spent years following the rules and it's never benefitted you, so why bother now?
You get to know Katsura Kotarou later on, and you find out he is the oddest of creatures; his fingers are flexible and he is a quick pupil regarding the Way of Ramen, but mysteriously he has a stomachache whenever you request him to make a ramen delivery. You act as if you are exasperated, because he would no longer stay if you knew who he was. You know this and yet you can feel the days with him shortening; all good things must come to an end.
You finally admit after a drink or two the things you've given a great amount of thought to: the circumstances of your husband's death, and the loneliness of being a widow like this. You're tired of it, tired of hiding behind the ramen shop as an excuse. It's a burden. You see Katsura's shock when you tell him your husband died from a terrorist attack. You wonder if he was really that naive or thinking up excuses to justify the violence.
"Saving the country by hurting innocent people is bullshit," you say, and you look into your glass of sake because you don't want to know the answer in Katsura's eyes. For your sake he keeps silent while you tell him what's been on your mind for a long time.
"I hate them all," is the last thing you say about samurai and patriots before the two of you go to bed shortly afterwards in silence.
In bed you dream of Daigo, and it is sweet before he vanishes into air right before the alarm clock knocks you right back into reality, where there is no Daigo in the shop but Katsura. You slip down to the ramen shop and see that Katsura has gotten up even earlier than you.
He's tied up his hair in a ponytail and his sleeves are tucked up to his elbow while he mops the floor with an endearing sense of meticulousness.
He is incredibly handsome, you realize. Then you're a little horrified as you can't recall the last time you've ever thought anyone was attractive, not since your husband passed away. Everyone else has seen you as a widow running a run-down ramen shop - nothing more, nothing less.
"Good morning, Ikumatsu-dono," he greets you, and you swallow before stammering out a reply. You're too old for this, you're twenty-eight, not sixteen. You've been cursed with more than a life's worth of experience, and you take a minute to breath. When you look back at him you still get the jitters and so you ask him to prepare the broth for today's cooking. He puts away the mop and obliges. You say you're going to go outside for a moment for some fresh air and he nods.
You're sickened by your hypocrisy, but the truth is, you're falling for someone you have every reason to despise. It's not fair, you think to yourself and you start tearing up at the irony of it. All the loneliness you've been feeling for the past five years is bursting through your heart, with no one to tell all these burdensome secrets except for him.
Katsura opens the door of the shop once he hears you crying and he pulls you inside. He pushes you to the chair and awkwardly asks you if you're okay while he offers a handkerchief. You blow your nose and cry some more, until he anxiously fills up a glass of water, spouting inane things like hydration and fluid intake. You're simultaneously laughing and crying. This is the man who is taking over Daigo's memory, and he doesn't know it.
Finally you stop, and you finally drink down all the water. He seems relieved that you're not crying anymore, and though you're embarrassed you're also amused that such a samurai of notorious reputation is reduced to helplessness at the sight of a crying woman. A true gentlemen, he never asks you the reason for your tears. You figure that he doesn't need to know.
He apologizes and you don't know why. Then the telephone rings and they are calling for a delivery. You smile and take down their address while Katsura goes back to your loft on top of the shop to change into his waiter outfit.
You're heading out to the motorcycle when you spot your brother-in-law and his cronies running towards you; for a moment you don't know what to do before you drop the delivery box and run back to the shop. But it's too late; they muffle your mouth and tie your arms while you helplessly thrash about. You breathe through your nose, kick the inside of the box to no avail, and you are terrified that they will burn down the ramen shop.
In a few minutes you calm down and think more rationally; the Shinsengumi are still out there. While the box is still in movement you can hear voices asking if they've seen Katsura Kotarou. Panicking, they head the opposite direction and a bazooka is fired, throwing you off course. You blink in the bright sunshine and hold your breath so you don't swallow the dust.
You can see your brother-in-law head down to the ground. You don't know what happened in the chaos; it happened so fast and now there are men in an uproar.
Katsura stands next to you and unbinds the ropes from your body. "Looks like we don't have time to chat," he says. "Ikumatsu-dono, thank you for everything. And... I'm sorry."
"I knew the whole time," you admit. "I'm like you. I don't have what it takes to ignore someone in trouble. I'm a fool. So don't apologize."
He turns away and you're about to tell him to wait before he says, "I see. Then let me just say this..."
Whether it's by fate or circumstance, both of you say "Thank you," at the same time.
-x-
You sometimes see him coming in your shop, never for too long, but you miss his easy company. One day you find out he's good friends with Gintoki, a regular customer of yours and you hope that whenever he shows up, Katsura will too. It's a silly dream, but your shop isn't famous or full of customers, so who's to say that it couldn't be a regular hiding spot? You hope that he'll stop by again, because God knows you needed to move on. Daigo would have wanted you to be happy.
Things have changed, and you look at the wall and remember when you started adding soba to the menu. You don't deny that you have feelings for Katsura, but at the same time, you don't even know if he'll ever reciprocate. He's from a different world; one ruled by political ideologies while you're just a simple woman who's been a victim of those movements. You keep those thoughts to yourself; after all, he was a criminal at the end of the day. You've always thought herself as a sane member of society and yet...
There was really no good place for someone like you to be next to Katsura, you conclude firmly. You shake those thoughts out of your head and look inside your closet, distracting yourself from those unattainable thoughts.
Coming across the New Year, you dress in your best clothes to visit the members of the Nishiki family and you assume the role of a humble heiress. Shinpachi and Kagura are suitably impressed when you sit with them for tea. They've been asking around about your father, and you say you don't remember much about him. He's been dead for over twenty years, or so the rumor went.
Daigo never told you this but you find out later that your late husband was saved from the river by your father. Your mother says he was a cheating bastard who left the family, but you prefer the happier memories of your family when you weren't rich and had to split a bowl of soba into three.
It makes you sad. The mysterious old man when he came into the shop brings back memories that you don't want to remember; after all, the last time the old man showed up, it'd been only a day before Daigo passed away. You bow your formalities to the woman who supervises your mother's shop and you walk, lost in your thoughts. It's been a while since you've been thinking about the past.
Maybe the old man was your father. Who knows the truth these days? You admit this to Katsura one day and show the bright red handkerchief that old man used to wear on his head when he came into the ramen shop every New Years. He'd been very quiet and hadn't said much, but he'd taken it.
When you get to the shop, you change your clothes into your familiar chef outfit. It's a holiday so the shop is closed; you instead sit at the bar to fix yourself some lunch.
The door opens; Shinpachi and Kagura are yelling for you to get out as fast as you can. You run out of the shop and see a bunch of homeless men looking at you like they're out to kill you and your throat closes up on you. You're not brave like Katsura; but Kagura holds your hands and forces you to run while she shoots out bullets from that umbrella of hers. There is no other choice in scenarios like these, so you adapt and the adrenaline starts pumping in your blood.
Suddenly you see him, the image of your father while you're clutching that bowl of ramen to yourself. You run after him as if a dream. The homeless men are out to catch you and you don't even think, you just act on instinct and you jump off the bridge into the cold water that sucks all the breath out of your body.
When did I forget about such a precious person in my life? you ask yourself while you sink into the water, numb with nothing but your thoughts.
Someone rescues you and pulls you to the surface. You think it's your missing father from all these years, but you know better. You know that it is Katsura who is pleading with you to wake up, please be okay, it's going to be alright.
-x-
Katsura comes into your shop once more and orders the usual. You give him a bowl of ramen and he stares at your back.
"Ikumatsu-dono, I ordered soba. I don't remember ordering ramen."
You keep thinking about the number of times this man has saved you time and time again. How long will it be before he mentions anything of it except for the quiet request of your soba?
"Did you?" you reply. "Men shouldn't talk about trivial things. The way you grow your flashy long hair... just hurry and trim it down to a crew cut."
"Hair has nothing to do with this, does it?"
You sigh. "This is a ramen shop. If you ate ramen once in a while, you wouldn't be punished, don't you think? Or are you saying that one idiot eating ramen is on New Years is plenty?"
Making ramen is your way of giving thanks because you've always been awkward with expressing yourself. Your soba isn't as good as your ramen; is Katsura saying that he's okay with accepting second-best? You don't know if you want to find out.
You exchange more layered words with him, but never reveal anything more than your gratefulness. Finally he shakes his head and refuses.
"I respectfully cannot eat that ramen, but even if you can't share that ramen with your family, you can share hardships with a comrade." He rises up from his seat and heads for the door.
"Ikumatsu-dono, if you'd ever like to find something you've lost, come talk to me. And I hope you don't misunderstand, I don't dislike ramen or anything, it's just... I can't eat all that."
You turn your head -
And then you see your father in the flesh after twenty years of absence, wheeling himself inside. You've never sobbed so hard in your life. You've never been more grateful for someone like Katsura Kotarou bumping into you that fateful night.
-x-
You get a bit older and the pain goes away little by little until you look at your old wedding album without a sense of sadness anymore. You start talking a little bit more about Daigo to people who used to know him, and he is no longer a topic of taboo. You know that it's time to let go.
You make your way to a realtor in Edo, and put up the property for sale. It's in a decent neighborhood, near the Kabuki-chou district and you know you'll fetch a good price for it. The amenities have been kept in decent condition and maybe some Amanto pastry shop will buy your old ramen shop, even though it's old-fashioned. At the very least you can say it had its own charm a long time ago.
You inform your customers that you're going out of business and they aren't surprised; these days it's not even worth keeping the shop open for any more than eight hours. You tape a notice sign that informs the public the last day the ramen shop will be open for customers.
The very last hour of the final day, you're not surprised at all to see Katsura coming in. He orders a bowl of soba.
You set it gently across from him and pour him a glass of ice cold water for one last time.
"Here you go," you say. You make your way and sit in a chair next to him.
"Thank you, Ikumatsu-dono."
It's a while before the two of you say anything. But you've made your mind up already.
"Katsura-san."
"Yes?"
"I don't care about your beliefs," you start off, because you know the pain of losing a loved one in a pointless accident. "But I still love you. You've saved me from a lifetime of eternal sadness."
He looks up and his beautiful eyes widen in shock.
"For a while I felt stuck with my husband's death," you admit. "And then you came in and started to pull me away from all of that. I know that you've stopped being as violent as you once were, and I acknowledge that."
He lowers his head. "Ikumatsu-dono - "
"I sold the ramen shop because I want to be with you," you say steadily. One of the few perks of middle age is never stuttering when you're certain of true love. "I'm fine with being on the run, as long as I'm with you."
He turns away, but this time you are prepared.
"Katsura," you speak gently. He reluctantly looks at you, and you finally reach in to touch him after all this time.
There's nothing like the first kiss - you can feel his hesitant fear slipping away and the years of longing he's had for you. He's waited for you, and the slow heat burns through your bones. You let go but rest your forehead against his. His fingers touch your cheek ever so slightly, and it is perfection in a moment of time.
"Will you be mine?" you ask, and he closes his eyes. "I will," he answers.
That is enough for now. Soon you'll ask him for more, and he'll give in to you steadily. But tonight, that's all you need, and all you will ever need.
You love Katsura Kotarou for the man he is, and you wouldn't have him any other way.
-x-
The End
-x-
I want to dedicate this oneshot to Niente de Nada, who is my muse in most things Gintama. She is so brilliant with her interpretation of canon and I can only admire her from far away. Because of her I took a course in Japanese Culture at my university... she really is an amazing writer and history buff. Thanks to her I am a big fan of the Katsura x Ikumatsu pairing.
As always, I depend on your reviews to encourage me to write. I really do read through all of them and appreciate all of them, even if it is a simple thank you from a guest account. :) Please tell me what you think.
