Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well, sentence me to another life
I'm in my room listening to Paramore. "I'm not little Saint Clare anymore" I said out loud. I'm so sick of everyone thinking I'm so innocent! It's time to prove them wrong. When K.C. left me left me last year I vowed to myself that I would prove to that jerk-bag that I was over him. And today would be that day. I was in the biggest screw you mood EVER! K.C. will pay I thought while narrowing my eyes.
Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same
This is the best thing that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
On my way downstairs I heard my parents arguing. I stopped walking not wanting to walk right into it. I probably stood there for 10 minutes waiting for it to be over. When I finally heard the door slam and the car peal out of our garage and into the street I knew that it was safe to go down stairs. I saw my mom sitting at our kitchen table, weeping. "What's wrong mom?" I said in the bravest voice I could manage. "Your father and I are getting a divorce." She replied in a shaky voice.
The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well, now I can fend for myself
Before, when I thought about K.C. all I could think about was having him back. When my mom said that her and my dad were getting a divorce everything I knew about love crumbled. My idea of love WAS my mom and dad. If my whole idea of love is based on a false pretense then how can I love? And now everything is tumbling, falling down a deep, dark hole full of scary and unknown things. Because, all I really wanted in life was to graduate high school, go to a nice college (possibly an Ivy League), fall in love, marry, and have kids. But now… what? What do you do when everything you know is an illusion.
I silently laugh. I just realized how much of a fairy tale my life sounded like. Screw it, love should just stay in the fairy tales.
