MODERN AU

"Hey, Olaf, it's me Hans! I was wondering if you could come around later."
There's a pause on the answer phone message. "Me and Anna would love to see you… soon."

The message ends. Olaf considered the proposal and it had been ten years since he had seen Hans and Anna, hopefully this could be a nice party. Olaf looked in his fridge for a refreshment to bring along to this party and quickly decided to bring along some melon juice.

/

Olaf arrived at Anna and Hans' apartment fifteen minutes early, nervous he used his twiggy hands to knock lightly on the door.

"Who's that, Olaf? Hans you said he'd be an hour from now!" Anna's voice could be heard through the yellow door.

"No, no! He's right on time." Hans responded, his footsteps could be heard coming towards the door.

"No, Hans, this is the problem with– "

"Shush." Hans cut Anna off. There was a pause and then he slowly creaked open the door. "Olaf! It's so great to see you." Hans spread his arms open wide towards the snowman. "Come in, come in!"

Olaf waddled up to Hans and hugged him tightly on the leg. "I've missed you guys!"

Hans stuttered "Oh… well… yes. Ha ha." Obviously he was caught off guard by the hug.

Olaf continued to waddle slowly into the room. He found himself in a very grey room, the walls were grey, the floor was grey, the ceiling was grey, Hans' coat was grey. He had trouble differentiating the grey surroundings with the very dull decorating. A kind of tree was in the corner, some striped tables surrounded it, there was one sofa, the only seat, and a bar, on one side of the wall there was a collection of sculptures, one looking pretty… questionable.

"No, no, we're here! Hi, Olaf! It's lovely to see you again, you look fabulous." Anna came from the grey corridor, supposedly from the kitchen.

"Hi, Anna! It's fabulous to see you." Olaf pulls Anna's legs into a nice, warm hug.

"Oh, heh… you're hugging me." Everyone seems so… frosty tonight. You check to see if it's snowing outside but all you can see are some low-resolution images of a city skyline.

"So, Olaf. Do you want some drinks! How about a martini," Hans walked right up to Olaf, walking right into his personal space. Anna also walked closer to Olaf, obviously they desired to be closer to Olaf.

"No no, Olaf wants something simple like mineral water." Anna was glaring at Hans.

"No, a martini."

Olaf was looking between the two. "You know what I want, kids?" Olaf took a deep breath. "I want you two to stop being so frozen towards each other."

They both stopped arguing and slowly turned to glare at Olaf. "Are you trying to say… I'm cold, frozen and impotent? And so report me?"

"Well to be honest, Hans IS impotent." Anna said, shrugging. "Anyway, Olaf. Come sit on the couch with me. Hans will fix you a drink. Of water."

"How's Elsa?" Olaf said, walking towards the sofa as Hans side eyed them from behind the bar.

"What, are you trying to suggest I'm having… an affair with Elsa?" Anna looked stunned, hurt inside from Olaf's words.

Olaf gaped at Anna. "What, I only asked if she was okay. What is it with you two and jumping to conclusions."

Hans came over with the drinks, carrying only two. "Yours is on the bar, Anna."

Then Elsa ran in and picked up the glass to hand it towards Anna. Anna took a sip carefully of her mineral water.

"How does Anna?" Said Olaf, looking at Anna drinking. Then she began to choke like Joffrey at The Purple Wedding.

"No, no, the drink, the drink—O my dear Olaf— The drink, the drink! I am poison'd." Anna said, choking up her blood and dying, the red actually made the room livelier in comparison to all the grey decoration.

"O villany! Ho! let the door be lock'd: 312 Treachery! Seek it out." Said Olaf.

Hans laughed manically "It is here, Olaf: Olaf, thou art slain; No medicine in the world can do thee good; In thee there is not half an hour of life; The treacherous instrument is in thy hand, Unbated and envenom'd: the foul practise Hath turn'd itself on me. Lo, here I lie, Never to rise again: thy mother's poison'd: I can no more: the king, the king's to blame."

"You talk WAY too much." Olaf replied, not listening.

"The point envenom'd too! 322 Then, venom, to thy work." Olaf said, stabbing Hans.

"O, yet defend me, friends; I am but hurt." Hans cried out in pain.

"Here, thou Anna was incestuous, you were murderous, Drink off this potion." Olaf proclaimed, forcing the poisoned mineral water down Hans' throat. Has choked and died, more blood adding to the new decorations.

Olaf staggered towards Elsa, poisoned and dying. "Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee. I am dead, Elsa. Adieu! Had I but time—as this fell sergeant, death, Is strict in his arrest—O, I could tell you - But let it be. Horatio, I am dead; Thou livest. Report me and my cause aright To the unsatisfied." Olaf breathed out, a lot of words for a dying snowman.

Elsa picked up the mineral water back "Here's yet some mineral water left." Not knowing it was poisoned.

Olaf thrust his twigs towards Elsa "As thou'rt a man, Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I'll have't. O good Horatio, what a wounded name, Things standing thus unknown, shall live behind me! If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart Absent thee from felicity awhile, And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain, To tell my story." Olaf coughed. "O, I die, Horatio; The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit. The rest is silence." And there Olaf died.

Elsa stood alone, looking at the dead bodies around the place.

"Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!" Elsa said, exiting the massacre.