To Riza, A Fool Who Loves a Fool
Author: MoonStarDutchess
OneShot
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA
AN: I don't know where this came from. One minute I was working on Best Kept Secret, the next thing I know I get this bunny and had to write it. Hope you like it.
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To Riza, A Fool Who Loves a Fool
Riza Hawkeye amazed Roy Mustang. No matter what he did, good or bad, she was always there. Her silent presence always around even when she didn't have a clue whether he cared or not.
He never shared much about his life with her. He always opted to talk to Maes about his problems instead of Riza. Instead of spending quality time with her, he chose to spend the various nights of the week with different women. He said thank you to all the other subordinates but never to her. He really didn't know what he did to deserve her loyalty, her dedication.
As he sat in Riza's living room, he realized that through all those years he was a fool because he denied what he felt for her. He was denying every time his heartbeat increased when she touched him ever so slightly. He'd denied every pang he felt when she wasn't in his presence. He pushed down any sorrow he felt when he saw that far away look in her eyes as she remembered what she'd done in Ishbal. He looked away when she spotted him out on the town with his many women. He'd become a master of ignoring and denying what he felt.
When he saw her standing there at attention, her face adorned with an oxymoronic expression of pitiful joy, it made him wonder who the bigger fool was. Him for taking such a wonderful woman for granted or her for being foolish enough to wait on a one-eyed failure engulfed fool.
He directed his gaze over to the pillow and blanket that she left on the couch. Since his return from the North she'd let him stay with her until the council made a decision on his conduct. Today, he was notified that he would be reinstated as a state alchemist but he wouldn't gain his rank back to General, what he was when he left Central. Instead, he was demoted two ranks from General to Lt. Colonel and he was completely fine with that fact. That meant that he could still pick his team and he would obviously select his old one. Most importantly he would select his most loyal subordinate, who with her promotion to captain was closer in rank to him now.
He looked up when the woman of his thoughts came into the room carrying a tray with two mugs on it. It was standard that every night she would bring in coffee after dinner. She sat it down on the table, took her mug off the tray, and went to sit in a chair beside her fireplace. He took in her beautiful looks, something he only noticed when he was caring for him and that time was the only time he'd ever called her beautiful. She didn't possess societies definition of beautiful, didn't possess the beauty that all the women he dated had. Perhaps beautiful wasn't a good word to use. He needed something that transcended simple words because they didn't do her justice. A prose would not even begin to express what had taken over his emotions.
She turned her hazel gaze to look at him and he offered her a small smile. She returned it and then directed her gaze back to the dancing flames that were engulfing the tinder in the hearth. As he stared at her, he realized that he needed to speak to her. To tell her what he was feeling and thinking.
"Riza," Roy said, causing her to turn back to him.
"Yes?"
"There's some things I need to tell you," he said and saw the surprise that registered on her face. That look of shock hurt him quite a bit but as he saw it, he deserved it for taking her for granted all these years.
"What is it?"
He stood and walked over to her, kneeling on both knees in front of her. He rested his hands on her knees and looked up into her questioning gaze.
"I'm sorry and thank you," he said. She started to open her mouth to respond but he spoke again before she could speak. "Please let me tell you this. All these years I've been an idiot. I've ignored every feeling that you've shown and denied all the feelings that I've had for you. I've never confided in you even thought I trusted you. I've never spent time with you the way I wanted because …I don't know why. I was an idiot for never appreciating you. I never realized just how much I cared until I came back and saw you standing there among all the danger surrounding us. Still the same loyal woman that I … love."
A small gasp came from her lips indicating that she hadn't expected such a confession.
"It's not just that friendly love that I had for Maes and that I carry for our friends and comrades. It's more. I understand if you don't feel the same and if you want to kick me out after I finish. I just thought you should know what a fool you aligned yourself with. I thought you know about a selfish man that never tried to get to know you and never opened himself to the only person in the world that ever gave a constant damn about him."
Riza smiled then took her hands from his. He saw there were tears in her eyes and instantly felt horrible for making her cry. That wasn't supposed to be the way it went. She was supposed to hate him, not cry. Her hands came to the side of his face and she lowered his head to rest on her lap. He looked at a small trail of wetness that soaked her skirt and realized that he was also crying.
"I love you too Roy," she said.
"Why?"
"I could tell you the reasons but we would have to sit here forever. Mainly, I love you because you never had to speak what I already knew. You may think you never showed me how you felt but you did. I'm just good at reading you. You are a fool but not for the reasons you think you are. You are a fool for thinking I didn't know your feelings. If I had any doubts about how you felt I would have left you long ago.
Roy sat up to look into her eyes, which were overflowing with tears. She moved to sit in the floor with him and he pulled her into his embrace. Though he wanted to kiss her tears away, he knew it was too soon for that. Instead, they just rested there against the chair, in front of the warm fire and got to know each other from the beginning. Starting over not as superior and subordinate, but as a man and woman in love.
AN: Hope you liked it. Please drop a review because if you do I may come up with something witty to give you a reason to review because I am all out of witty comments about how reviews make me happy. HEHE
