AN:
Warnings: Yaoi. Yusuke/Kuwa, Kurama/Kuwa, Hiei/Kuwa, not sure yet. Don't like, don't read? Also, AU, takes place during the three kings arc. kind of.
Disclaimer : I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho
" I miss Kuwabara."
It had started out innocently enough. But as with all sick, twisted perversions it had mutated from a single thought.Though of course, it wasn't that sick or that twisted.
The first time it'd been said, it was strangely enough said by Kurama - who had been the last one to see Kuwabara and therefore the least likely to miss him. Yusuke just paused as if he hadn't even yet considered whether or not he missed Kuwabara, while Hiei had given Kurama a sharp look as if he'd reminded him of something annoying.
The first time had been three months after they first entered into Demon Japan (as Kuwabara liked to call it behind its back, supposing of course that the geography corosponded).
.Though unlikely, as they were all on opposing sides of the war between the three Demon Kings, they had decided to meet. To secure the future of demon world of course. Certainly not because of anything else. None of that touchy feely crap for them. They weren't girls, they were three bad ass demons.
They would meet once a month. Kurama and Hiei would sneak from their respective sides to meet Yusuke somewhere under Raizen's territory. Mostly just to swap information and check up on each other. Almost unwittingly every time the conversation turned to Kuwabara. The second time was Yusuke, five months after first entering the demon world.
" I wonder what Kuwa's doing, you know, I mean - without us. I kinda wish I'd brought him."
Which earned Yusuke a slap on the head from a laughing Kurama, really, Kuwabara in the demon world?
Eleven months almost to the day when they first arrived in the demon realm and Hiei broke down.
" I wish the oaf was here."
Neither Hiei nor Yusuke were expecting what Kurama brought the next time they all met. Kurama's face turned red.
"Now I know what you're thinking and it wouldn't really be like stalking. It would be more like," Here Kurama paused unusually long, "visiting a friend in spirit, oh, you know that human saying - I'll be there in spirit or whatever."
Hiei was desperately trying not to show his curiosity. Yusuke wasn't so cool, he was practically drooling with anticipation.
"Can you imagine all the blackmail material we'll be able to use."
Even Hiei couldn't feign indifference to that one.
"How do you turn it on?"
To their surprise Kurama quite suddenly smashed the small dark object into the ground, then calmly,
"Japan, Kazuma Kuwabara."
A large screen was suddenly projected above the object. It showed Kuwabara walking from an arcade in the late afternoon on a busy street. For the first time in months the three youkai relaxed.
Kuwabara was muttering to himself on the screen, too quiet to be intelligible. They watched. After about ten minutes they began to notice someone following Kuwabara. There was a sudden burst of reikei from Yusuke.
"uh...sorry."
They watched on. Finally the man in the background approached Kazuma.
"Kuwabara? Thee Kuwabara?"
Kuwabara paused, hearing his name. He slowly turned around, the view followed so there was always a clear shot of Kazuma's face.
"...hi?"
"Hi, I'm Satoshi."
"Um, Kuwabara." Kuwabara smiled but it seemed to be a little awkward.
"You must be wondering why I've stopped you. Can I walk with you for a while?"
"oh, uh, sure."
Kuwabara began walking. The man Satoshi beside him. All in all he was only a little taller then Kazuma and didn't seem very threatening. They watched with baited breath.
"So, how I know you is...well, we were from rival gangs."
"So you wanted to fight me?"
"No, not that. It's a little juvenile. I was actually wondering, well, if you'd go out with me."
At this Kuwabara stopped short, his face slowly flushing.
"Uh..."
"Look, I know it's a little sudden. I mean, I just haven't seen your boyfriend around for awhile and thought maybe you'd broken up. I knew it was a long shot - "
"m-my b-boyfriend?" Kuwabara had been staring at the ground, blushing, before being startled and looking up through his lashes.
Even Hiei drew in a sharp breath.
At this Satoshi had obviously decided to take a different approach.
"Look babe, " Kuwabara's eyes widened and he frowned, " I'm not saying Urameshi wasn't hellfire in bed, it's all over Sarayashiki but, " Here he caressed a stunned Kuwabara on the cheek, " I'm better."
Kurama could here Yusuke cursing Keiko over in his corner of the screen and would have laughed if he hadn't been so intent to hear Kuwabara's response.
Kuwabara had immediately backed up.
"Um, look, I don't know how to say this so I'm just gonna say it but - well - first off, Urameshi isn't my boyfriend and secondly, I'm just not...interested. Thanks, sorry."
Kuwabara took off running , blushing like mad. When he finally stopped he was over 15 blocks away. He hardly even needed to catch his breath as he leaned against an alley wall.
"I can't believe he thought...ugh, if Urameshi ever finds out he'll probably blame it all on me and beat me to a pulp." Kuwabara was dusting at non-existant fuzzies on his clothing. " I'm sure I'd just die of embarrassment if he ever found out about this anyway."
With that, the screen retracted and small dark object lay innocently on the ground. Kurama was the first to break the silence.
"So, who's for finding this guy and setting him straight?"
"Damn right, see if he ever touches my Kuwa again."
"Hn."
Of course, that was before they calmed down and realized the impractibility of that course of action. Besides Kuwabara could handle a normal human. And it least it gave them something to stew over until their next meeting.
The second time they used the object had just as interesting results.
"Hey Kuwabara."
"Yeah Okubo?"
"...well, I just kind of heard this rumor that - look, you didn't really go with that guy Satoshi did you?"
"wh-what?!" Kuwabara nearly choked. Okubo looked relieved, then continued on.
"Well it's not a big deal, just a rumor. He's been telling everyone," and here Okubo paused and reddened, "that he's had you in bed."
Kuwabara was too stunned to reply, giving a strangled chuckle. Okubo continued.
"I didn't think you'd do something like that. Not that I'm saying you're not , well, submissive but-"
"e-excuse me?! Submissive?!"
"Well, Kuwabara it's been quite awhile now. I'm actually a little hurt that you hide it from us. Everyone knows you're the great Urameshi's uke. His other half, his - "
"Are you freakin' kidding me?"
"...are you okay?"
"No I am not okay! Why does every one think that he and I are...that we're...okay, you know what Okubo? First off, I'm not Urameshi's...Urameshi's anything! Secondly, I've never even...let's just put it this way, I've never even had my first kiss so it's more then unlikely I'd go around with random...people."
"you're joking right?"
"No. Look it's a little embarassing I guess, but I haven't."
"I was actually talking about the fact that you just denied being Yusuke Urameshi's -er- bottom."
"..."
"..."
"...you know what. Never mind. Of course I wouldn't have gone with Satoshi as I was too busy having my brains being screwed out by Urameshi. Never mind the fact that you never see him around any more. Never mind the fact that he has a girlfriend. NEVER MIND THE FACT NO ONE HAS EVER SEEN US DOING ANYTHING INCRIMINATING TOGETHER. Oh no, never mind that."
"Well, I'm glad you finally admitted the fact that you're with him."
And The Game really only started when the screen faded and Kurama quietly challenged,
"I bet your 5000 yen against Kuwabara's first kiss."
