Hey guys.
So, this was totally inspired by Taylor Swift's "Last Kiss," if you can't tell.
Normally, I don't like her, but sometimes you hear a song and it's like "Story!"
Anyway, here's my little bit of angst for now.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee, or any of these characters, or this song.
I still remember the look on your face
Lit through the darkness at 1:58
the words that you whispered
For just us to know
You told me you loved me
So why did you go
Away?
Rachel woke suddenly to the feeling of a soft kiss being placed to the back of her neck. She murmured sleepily, "Noah?"
"Hey," he whispered as she rolled over to face him. She smiled softly at him, and even though her eyes were half lidded with sleep, they still sparkled when her gaze met his.
"Hi," she said, looking over his shoulder at the clock, the red numbers glowing brightly in the otherwise completely dark room. "Why are you up at… 1:58? Most normal people are sleeping now."
"Well, I'm not most people," he said with a grin, wrapping his arm around her tighter and pulling her closer, their bodies meeting in a warm, comforting embrace. "I just couldn't sleep, and I wanted you to not sleep with me."
She giggled. "Alright."
"I love you," he said, kissing her forehead gently.
"I love you too," she whispered happily. He leaned in and kissed her, soft and slow. When they pulled back, he was looking at her like there was nothing else in the world but the two of them. The expression on his face couldn't be described as anything else but happiness, and she knew that if she were to look in a mirror that hers matched his exactly.
He made love to her then; there were no other words that could be used besides making love. It was tender, and sweet, and everything it should be. He took his time undressing her, paying attention to every inch of her body. It was the most intimate they had ever been—they'd had sex, even made love, but she had never felt so close to him before. The moment was perfect; she knew nothing could ruin this.
I do recall now
The smell of the rain
Fresh on the pavement
I ran off the plane
That July 9th
The beat of your heart
It jumps through your shirt
I can still feel your arms
It was raining the day Rachel came back from Florida. She had gone to visit some family alone for the 4th of July—her parents were away on business as they always were, and they had requested that she go spend some time with her relatives. She had agreed reluctantly, and she had gone to spend a week with her father's family. It was a much needed vacation from Ohio, but she had missed Puck like crazy.
She all but sprinted off the plane, running into some people on the way and giving them a hurried apology as she passed. She made it through the gate and past security, and then she saw the familiar Mohawk and shocking hazel eyes. "Noah!"
He turned and saw her, and his face lit up. "Rachel!" She ran into his open arms, and he picked her up and spun her around like he hadn't seen her in years, placing kisses to the top of her head. "I missed you, baby girl."
"I missed you too, Noah. It feels like I've been gone forever," she mumbled into his shirt, taking in the scent of his cologne and something so distinctly Noah. She could feel his heartbeat through his shirt as his strong arms enveloped her, and she could only think of how happy she was to be home again.
And now I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss
Rachel looked up as she heard the familiar knock on the door, followed by the creak of it opening. He never bothered to wait for her to answer. "In here, Noah," she called from the kitchen.
"Hey, Rach," he said as he walked in. Right away, she knew something was different.
"What's the matter?" she asked, looking up into his eyes and seeing the mixed emotions of excitement and sadness there.
He sat down at the kitchen table next to her and took her hand. "I… I have something to tell you."
She swallowed, butterflies immediately present in her stomach. "Okay…?"
"You know how we've had that rock band for a while, me and Finn and Artie?" She nodded. "Well, some producer saw us yesterday, and he wants to sign us."
"That… that's awesome!" she exclaimed, but then she realized that he wouldn't seem so upset if there wasn't more to the story. "There's more, isn't there?"
"He… wants to take all of us out to California to record an album," he said softly.
She was stunned. "You… you've never said anything about wanting to be famous before…"
"I know. I didn't. But he said he saw the 'fire' in us, whatever that means. And I… I can't take this away from the guys. This is their dream, and I know they'd never forgive me if I said no," Puck said sadly.
"No, no, baby, I'm excited for you," she said, putting on a huge fake smile to hide the sudden wave of sadness. She really was excited for him, but she knew what came along with it. "Really. When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow," he said, biting his lip and looking at her sadly.
"Oh… I… guess I better help you pack then," she said, keeping her happy face on and swallowing back her tears as she stood up from the table. She'd do anything for Noah to make him happy; she just didn't realize they would be leaving so soon.
He stood too, and pulled her into a tight hug, stroking her hair gently. "I love you."
"I love you too," she whispered into his chest.
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
The next day came too soon. Rachel and Puck had spent the entire night packing, laughing, reminiscing, and crying, not that he'd ever admit that last one. She was going to miss him more than anything, but she also knew she'd do whatever it took to stay strong for him.
He was standing on her doorstep, and the boys were in the car waiting for him to say his goodbyes. She had already told them good luck and made them all promise to call at least once a week; after all, they were her best friends too.
He pulled her into his chest tightly, kissing the top of her head. "Rachel… I love you. We're gonna make this work. I'll come home every chance I can, I swear," he said, holding her close to him.
She tried not to cry as she looked up at him, and she could tell he was holding his tears in as well, even though it totally wasn't "badass" to cry. "I love you too, Noah. So much. I'll miss you. But it's gonna be okay. I'll see you soon."
He leaned in and kissed her, sweetly and passionately, and it was perfect. Their lips fit together like they were made for each other, as they always did. Her arms were around his neck and his were around her waist, and neither of them wanted it to end. Sadly, though, the car horn soon ended it for them. He pulled back reluctantly, pressing his forehead to hers. "I… I guess I gotta go."
"Alright," she said, pulling him in close for one last hug. "Be careful. You're gonna be amazing."
He smiled sadly. "Don't forget about me."
"You don't forget about me either," she said, her smile growing to match his. They kissed quickly one last time, and then he walked away from her and got into the car. She could see him look through the rear window and mouth 'I love you' as they pulled away. She mouthed it back and walked inside, and that's when the tears came.
I do remember
The swing in your step
The life of the party, you're showing off again
And I roll my eyes and then
You pull me in
I'm not much for dancing
But for you I did
Rachel sat at a badly decorated table at junior prom, watching Puck, Finn, Artie, and Mike all attempt to choreograph a dance routine in their suits to the song that was playing over the speakers. She saw her boyfriend almost fall, then quickly make it seem like he had done it on purpose. Show off, she thought to herself as he looked over at her and grinned cheekily. She rolled her eyes good-naturedly at him. He always had to be the center of attention.
The song changed to a slow one, and the other boys grabbed their dates and walked them to the dance floor. Puck came over to her and held his hand out. "May I have this dance?"
"Oh, Noah, you know I don't dance," she said, shaking her head.
"Please? For me?" he asked, pouting exaggeratedly and giving her a wide-eyed look.
She sighed and took his hand; she never could tell him no. "Alright. But only for you." His face lit up, and they walked out to join the other three boys.
He held her close as they swayed to the music. "Have I told you that you look absolutely breathtaking tonight?" he asked, looking into her eyes that shined brighter than the sparkle of her silver prom dress.
She turned a soft shade of pink. "Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself."
He just chuckled, and they danced in a comfortable silence for the rest of the song, each of their friends around them mentally 'Aww'-ing at the couple.
Because I love your handshake
Meeting my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets
How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something
There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions
"Were you nervous?" Rachel asked Puck as they walked away from her house to his.
"No," he said with a grin. "I don't get nervous. Plus, your dads were nice and not near as intimidating as you made them out to be."
"Yeah, well… I'm just glad it went well," she said, visibly relieved now that the stress of having Noah meet her parents for the first time was over. They were always gone on business, leaving her home by herself just about every day since she was old enough to stay on her own. But they had come home for a couple of days and wanted to meet the boy that was 'taking care of their little girl while they were gone.' She could tell her fathers approved as soon as each of them shook Noah's hand.
"I think it's funny that they don't even care that we stay in that house together alone all the time," he said mischievously. "When he said 'take care of my little girl,' I was thinking, 'Oh, I've been taking real good care of her.'"
Rachel laughed and smacked his arm. "Thank you for not saying that to him."
He chuckled. "I do like living, you know."
She looked over at the boy next to her, his hands in his pockets as he walked down the street. She watched him for a minute, his eyes shining with mirth in the moonlight, and she was momentarily struck speechless by the fact that she could call someone that perfect her boyfriend.
He noticed her looking at him. "What? Something on my face?"
"Nope. Just looking at you," she said honestly. "I kind of can't believe you're mine, you know."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because you're just so… amazing. I mean it. You're the best boyfriend ever. You're thoughtful, and sweet, and you take me on the best dates ever, and you just make me feel good inside, and not to mention you're incredibly attractive. And you don't care that I'm loud and obnoxious and kind of a spaz …" She was cut off by his lips pressing to hers in a short kiss that still left her head spinning.
"Rachel. You're rambling," he laughed.
"Yeah, I know. I just… I love you a lot, you know," she said softly.
"Well, I love you a lot more, and that's that."
And I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss
Things were fine for a while. Rachel missed Noah so much it hurt sometimes, but they talked on the phone every night. Sometimes he would text her with an 'I love you' and it would be enough to get her through the day. Other times she would just sit and wish he was there. But she stayed strong and never let him know how badly it was hurting her.
Then, after a while, the phone calls started getting shorter. Then it was every other night. He wouldn't text during the day anymore. He would never say 'I love you' first, like he used to. It was like she had to force it out of him. She could feel him pulling away from her no matter how hard she fought to stop it.
And then the night came that she had hoped would never come. The conversation started out the same as always. He told her about his day, and she did the same. But then she said, "I miss you," and she heard him sigh resignedly.
"Look, Rachel…" he started, and a sinking feeling hit her like a ton of bricks. "I… I just can't do this anymore."
"What?" The tears welled in her eyes before she could stop them.
"I… this is too hard. I can't handle being away from you like this anymore. It hurts me, and I know it's killing you. I… we can't keep doing this." She could tell he'd been practicing this speech.
"Noah… please don't do this to me. I love you. I know it's hard but being away from you is better than being without you completely. Please don't do this," she said, her voice catching on the last sentence.
"Rach, it's better for both of us, and you know it. I… you're not gonna change my mind. I… I gotta go," he said before he could lose his resolve.
"No, Noah, please!" she cried, but it was too late. She heard the click of the phone as he hung up, and she pulled the phone back and stared at it for a second before pressing the end button. She was frozen in her spot on the bed, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't even move to wipe her eyes or sniffle; it was like she was numb.
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
After a while, she found the strength to move, just enough to lie down on the bed and curl into a ball. She lay there for a while, not thinking about anything, just feeling empty like her heart had been ripped out. She couldn't believe he could do this to her, so easily, like it never meant anything to him. She finally cried herself to the point of exhaustion, his name on her lips like a prayer as she fell into a restless slumber.
So I watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are
It had been a few months since Noah had broken up with her, and as much as Rachel liked to think she was over it, she wasn't. For a while, she wasn't sure what to do with herself; her other half was gone, and he was the only one she ever wanted to be around anyway. But now, she was fully functional again, and could at least put on a smile long enough to go out and socialize for a while.
True to their word, Finn and Artie called her once a week even after the breakup. The first month, it was almost every day they would call, just to make sure she hadn't done anything stupid. But once she had assured them she was alright, and actually meant it, they stopped calling so much. She would ask them how he was every now and then, and the answer was always the same: "Fine."
Their band blew up quickly, it seemed. Their faces were everywhere all the time, on billboards and magazines and posters—she couldn't get away from them. Several times, she got on the internet and looked for pictures of the boys, just to see their faces again. With every picture of Noah she saw next to another girl, she felt a pang of sadness as she realized he really had forgotten about her.
And I hope the sun shines
And it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you
You wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in the weather and time
But I never planned on you changing your mind
It was Valentine's Day, their anniversary. Rachel had made it through the holidays alright, since she had her family. But Valentine's Day was too much for her to handle, knowing she was alone for the first time in years. She felt the first wave of sadness rush over her when she saw the date on her phone, and she quickly realized she was going to have to let herself have today to cry or she'd never make it through.
So
I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss
She found one of Noah's hoodies and a beanie he had left behind, and she put them on without even thinking about it. She wandered around the house for a while, looking at old pictures and reminiscing about all the good times they'd had together. She ended up on the living room floor in front of the couch, TV on but not being watched, and she just sat and cried, thinking about the past few months and how hard they'd been on her.
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
Later that day, Finn called, telling her he needed a Valentine and that she was it; she didn't have a choice. She laughed at that—she knew he knew the significance of the day and that he was just trying to make her feel better. And then she asked the inevitable question: "Well, how is he?"
Finn's response was not one she expected. "I don't know. We haven't seen him all day."
She sighed; she'd hoped he'd say Noah was crying somewhere because he missed her, even though she knew it'd never happen. "Oh."
Just like our last kiss
Forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips
Just like our last kiss
Just then, there was a knock at the door. She was confused; she never had visitors, and it was getting kind of late. Reluctantly, she got up to answer, not bothering to fix herself first. It's not like it would be anyone she cared about.
When she opened the door, her jaw dropped and her eyes grew wide. The person she never would've imagined would be here was standing at her door, a bouquet of roses in one hand and what looked like plane tickets in the other. "Finn, I'm gonna have to call you back…" she said softly, before snapping the phone shut. The boy at the door smiled softly at her, and she could only whisper his name as he pulled her into a tight hug full of 'I'm sorry' and 'I promise.'
"Noah…"
