Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Rick Riordan does.
The Last Straw
A story of Hera's revenge
I sighed. Waking up alone in bed. Like every day this week. And for that matter, this month, this year. I pulled off my eye mask, slipping my feet out into my fuzzy pink slippers. My husband was never here.
I went to breakfast alone, ate my ambrosia in nectar alone, and went through my day of routine alone. It always disappointed me that I had married the most difficult man out there.
And it was sweet irony that I, the goddess of marriage, had a broken marriage. I never saw my husband, except when he was drunk on nectar. And then I had to pick him up if he was caught with the wife of some other god on Mount Olympus.
I pulled on my chiton, then my peplos, arranging a golden laurel crown on my head. I had to take care of the courts, because someone had neglected his duties in order to party all night in the temple dedicated to him.
I scowled. Just because a temple had your name written on the doors, with a giant gold statue of you in the interior, didn't give you the right to have fun, set up strobe lights, and defile it. Exactly what my husband had done.
So I went to the court, tying a gold chain belt around my waist, and pulling a silken scarf over my face. It was an old custom to do this. Because they said that we shouldn't be influenced, we had cover our faces. So I was escorted by some sort of guard or bailiff, but I couldn't see who, because my eyes were concealed.
I took my seat, sliding over the hard wooden bench. The guard brought in a man, and I could hear him screaming. His voice…it was so familiar.
And naturally, it had to be my husband, Zeus, arrested for urinating in Fountain of Eternal Youth. I sighed. Today was going to be killer.
--
Zeus left, and I was resigned to judging petty thefts and crimes. Mount Olympus was mostly a peaceful community, but there was a large amount of partying by the bored gods. That led to graffiti on the temples, and crazy fraternity dares that disturbed the peace.
Most of the gods and goddesses were acquitted of their crimes, sentenced to only a few hours of community service.
But then, a new voice was brought over. It was gruff and gravelly, with no hint of remorse at all.
"Who are you, and what have you been arrested for?" I asked, my fingers tapping the wooden table in front of me. I was impatient, and I wanted this boring court to be over. Why should I be the one who had to take charge of the court, when it was Zeus's job? The Lord of the Sky was certainly neglecting his duties.
"I am Hephaestus, god of volcanoes and metal working. I was arrested for blowing up a temple Circulonimbus Park. It was an accident."
"Hephaestus, are you?" I leaned forwards, a plan forming in my mind. So I decided to implement it. "You realize that is a serious offense, and there will be heavy punishment? Of course, if we exchange a few favors, there is some chance you won't be assigned to taking care of Eros when Aphrodite is traveling to Troy."
Hephaestus sounded mildly interested. "Eros? That whiny little fat kid? I'm not baby sitting him. What do you want?"
"A golden net, please. Built of god strength materials. I'm going hunting." I replied, keeping my voice perfectly even. Not a note of emotion was audible.
"And when do you want this said golden net?" Hephaestus sounded cheerful, but it was hard to tell because his loud was so rough and low. "I can make it within a day, if you want to hunt so soon."
"That will be satisfactory. Now, you'll get cleaning duties for one hour tomorrow, and I'll just have to find someone else to take care of Eros." I made myself sound glum, like I was doing him a favor for letting him go almost scott free. But of course, to get what I wanted, I had to lie to him. Because blowing up a temple wasn't so serious. But we weren't married, so lying to him didn't go against my rules.
"Fine."
I heard the creak of a chair and the creak of a door. Hephaestus was gone. The guard tapped on the shoulder.
"Madame, the last criminal is gone now. You can leave now, and I'll assign Ares to judge duty. Or you can stay and answer the petitioners." He untied my white silk scarf and folded it up, sticking it into his sleeve. But the sleeve was cuffed and tight for anyone to hide a scarf that long without leaving lumps. So this guard had magical powers.
"No thank you, guard. I'll be having lunch at the Cloudbank Café." I hated petitioners. They were even worse than the criminals. Because they knew some of the laws of Olympus, and they weren't convicted of anything, they could come in and demand stuff without the threat of punishment.
Because some lax king had put this in his constitution, trying to do the opposite of the Titans. Sometimes, I thought the Titans had the right idea.
I rode a chariot with my son Apollo to the Cloudbank Café. He always drove me places because I had let him go after he got too many speeding tickets and had to appear in a court hearing. And if he didn't, I hadn't burned the tickets. So what if he called it blackmail?
At the Cloudbank, I ordered a slice of ambrosia cake. Sweets always cheered me up on the most boring days. To my surprise, a bearded man took the seat opposite me.
I blinked. "Lord Poseidon. I didn't know you were visiting Olympus. I thought you were working on El Nino."
"Sure, El Nino. It's finished. I even added an awesome new tsunami feature." He grinned at me, showing off two perfect rows of glistening teeth. "Do you think the nectar marinated swordfish with tomatoes and garlic butter is any good?" He flicked through the menu, pursing his lips as he turned the laminated plastic pages.
I nodded. "It's very good. You get a free order of buttered baguettes if you get that. Though the tomatoes aren't nearly as good as the ones at Demeter's Garden Market. But that's to be expected, since this establishment is owned by Fornax, god of breads and baking. But the pastries and loaves are exquisite. I'd suggest you try the nectar honey bread."
"Yes, I've had that bread." He gestured to a waiter who nodded and left for the kitchens. "It's certainly marvelous."
Then he lowered his head close to mine, making sure that patrons around us couldn't hear him. "I heard from Hephaestus that you were going hunting." He winked at the last word.
"Yes, I am. Some of the animals aren't acting like they should. I've decided to perhaps catch them, mind you, and not kill them." I smiled, turning to the waiter who brought another slice of cake. This time it was strawberries dipped in honey with chocolate fudge ambrosia cheesecake. With a complimentary glass of a blond champagne. There was a reason why I enjoyed my trips to the Cloudbank Café.
"Dearest sister, can you handle so large an animal?" He beamed art me. "I can call a few of my friends and maybe some of your children will help you with it. I'll be frequenting the bars and saloons, some of their favorite haunts here on Mount Olympus."
"That help would be appreciated, beloved brother." I replied smoothly. But inside was screaming with delight.
"Yes, that's good." Poseidon picked up his fork and knife and began to dig into his extra large helping of grilled swordfish and tomatoes with a delicate nectar dressing. "Simply delicious."
Author's Note: Hm…I didn't know this story would be this long. Anyways, it's about something mention in Percy Jackson and the Olympians, but I forget which book it was.
