Lt. Commander Data walked in, and Riker's eyes shot open in surprise at what the android had on. Atop Data's head was a battered old straw hat; over his Starfleet uniform he had a pair of grimy overalls on. And in his hands was a long, dark tube; it took Riker a moment to recognize it as an Earth-style shotgun from the late 20th century.
He gave his friend a nervous smile. "Data, why are you wearing that? Is it Halloween?"
"This is a customary outfit for people living in the American South in the 1900s, Commander Riker," Data informed him in his usual monotone, expressionless delivery. "The occasion it was worn is usually when the daughter of the person wearing it has engaged in sexual intercourse with an undesirable mate, thus necessitating the father to force said undesirable mate into what was known as a 'shotgun wedding'. I had the computer replicate it."
Riker narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Wait a minute...sexual intercourse with the daughter...Data, what are you talking about?"
It was at that moment Lal walked out of the bathroom, finished with her shower, a towel wrapped around her body. Upon seeing Data, her mouth fell open in surprise. "Father!"
"Father?!" Riker turned to look at Lal, before swiveling back to Data. After a moment, the Commander began chuckling heartily. "...Okay, Data, I have to admit, this is your funniest joke yet."
"It is no joke, Commander." Data cocked the shotgun for emphasis, and the laughter in Riker's throat died. He really should have listened to Gainan about not going home with the affectionate woman.
XXXXXXXXXX
A friend pointed out that due to the nature of parallel universes in Star Trek, there's an alternate universe in which Riker managed to hook up with Lal in 'The Offspring'. This was the first thing that popped up in my head (and the title was coined by my friend afterwards).
