a/n: I'll work on a second part this week. Hoping it's just a simple two-shot. It's a dark comedy... thing.
Warnings: If you're triggered by mentions of suicide or depression, please consider whether this is the fic for you.
Promise Not to Fall
Part 1
He braced himself on the concrete barrier of the high-rise rooftop and, with a grunt, pulled himself up until he could stand. With a view that overlooked downtown Los Angeles, Naruto gave one last glance around the city where he'd lived these past 28 years. The night, though smoggy, was clear enough to pick out the lights of other high-rises and a few low-flying planes heading to or from LAX. Not much breeze to speak of and the humidity left strands of blond hair sticking to his forehead and cheek. For the first time, he looked down not knowing whether it was normal that he wasn't afraid. Instead, it was fascinating to watch the long lines of red and white lights dotting the 110 as heavy traffic trudged along the freeway. It was funny, really, how the only sound he could hear was a low ringing in his ear. There were a few things he thought about: last fight with his ex-girlfriend, last time they had sex, a time they were happy. He couldn't call up much about his parents since they'd died when he was young. A few moments with friends came to mind, but after this past week, Naruto had determined he'd been using that word too loosely all of these years. He'd spent the better part of this last decade busting his ass at a job for supervisors who didn't give a fuck about how hard he worked. Student loans and credit card debt had begun piling up over his head, and it always felt like, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't dig himself out of this hole he'd fallen into over the past six months.
It wasn't that he lacked the courage to jump. It was just that even up until this point, he couldn't stop being angry and, in a way, that was fuel as much as love could be. He'd never expected himself to be a person who could come to hate so easily, but no one was perfect. As a kid, he'd had all these amazing plans for himself. By 30, he would've expected to be something great, whether that was a good job or a family with kids. Yet, he had neither.
It was hard to say how much time had passed while he stood there, half-thinking about the reasons why he wanted to jump and, the other half, was just his brain nagging him: jump, jump, jump. Fall, fall, fall. Falling from this rooftop might be the freest few minutes of his life. What happened after that didn't matter much as he knew he'd be dead on impact. He'd considered lots of other ways to kill himself—carbon monoxide, pills, stealing a friend's gun—but there was something about the fall that intrigued him. It must've been fate, too, because, for some reason, his employee ID wouldn't let him out onto the roof. It was only by chance that a friendly old janitor had believed him when he'd said he'd left something out here yesterday.
Naruto felt bad for lying to him but after a very long personal history of people constantly taking advantage of his kindness, seemed about time to return the favor. Besides, the guy didn't know him. For a lot of people, Naruto was forgettable. He didn't expect to gain attention from jumping, nor was he exacting revenge especially. He also wasn't looking for it "all to stop."
Impulsive? Yes, possibly. But what a way to go, huh?
He closed his eyes, breathed in deep, and prepared himself. The ringing in his ears hit a high-pitch, almost like an alarm bell. Every muscle in his body felt tight and his heart had begun beating fast as the adrenaline surged throughout his body. There was a sting in his palms as the nails began digging into his skin. He took in one more deep breath, moved his right foot forward, and—
Felt himself fall backward onto the cold concrete.
With a grunt, he smacked his elbow on the ground, head knocking into some unknown object. He found himself looking up at the sky and nearly had a heart attack when the ground beneath him moved. Naruto tried to jump to his feet out of panic, but immediately discovered he'd twisted his ankle. The sharp pain brought him to his knees again. Beneath him was another man—Asian, dark hair, dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans—but he appeared to be unconscious. Naruto, latching onto his shoulder, held an ear above the man's lips, listening for his breath. It wasn't long before he received a push to the chest that sent him back on his ass.
"Fucking heavy," said the man. "Get off of me."
Naruto stared at him, completely confused.
"W-what did you do?" He nearly screamed at him.
"What do you mean 'what did I do'?" The man barked back.
"You could've died!" Naruto wailed and pointed at the ledge. "I could've accidentally pulled you over with me!"
"Well wouldn't that have been romantic," the man replied, rubbing his chin.
"It's not funny," Naruto's heart beat wildly. "Y-you really could've died!"
"What are you getting so worked up for?" The man, slowly, pulled himself to sit cross-legged on the ground. "I only came out here to smoke, and your ass was hanging over the ledge."
"Maybe you should mind your own business."
"Maybe you should've picked a better spot to jump. There are people in this building, you realize? Anyone could've come out here, so clearly you were expecting someone to save you."
"Wow." Naruto was so stunned by the stranger's arrogance he was speechless.
"Am I wrong?"
"Uh, yeah." Naruto tried to move up onto one knee, but the other leg—with the twisted ankle—kept buckling under him. Still, he rose to his feet, but not without wincing. "You don't know me. Don't know anything about me, asshole!"
"Fine," said the other man. "Performance issues? Can't do it with an audience?"
"What?"
"I won't stop you if you're determined. Go for it. Jump. That's what you were intending to do, right?"
"Yeah, but," Naruto's eyes were wide and searching, "It—It—Suicide should be a fucking private moment, alright? Jesus! How the hell can I jump if you're here? Are you going to call the police?"
"Left my phone in my office," the man replied. "Kept going off every few minutes."
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You work here?"
"Obviously. And you?"
"I…" Naruto looked toward the ledge, then at the stranger. "I used to."
The man gave a curt nod. "I see."
"See what?" He snapped.
The bastard simply shrugged.
"Tch." Naruto squinted at him, trying to determine whether he was mental. "What department?"
"Excuse me?"
"What department do you work in, jackass?"
The man didn't answer. Instead, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, stuck one between his lips and, apparently taking a moment to think about it, offered Naruto one, too.
"I don't smoke," Naruto told him.
"Yeah," the man drawled while plastering on a smirk. "I hear smoking causes cancer, and that can kill you."
"This is funny to you?"
"I guess, yeah. Kind of."
Taking out a lighter, he lit the end of his cigarette, took a puff, and turned his head away while letting out a ring of smoke. Naruto eyed him closely, trying to recall if he'd ever seen him in the building before, but it was a big building with a lot of different departments and firms. They could've both worked in this building for decades and never bumped into one another.
"Do you have a name?" Naruto asked, but wasn't expecting to receive an answer.
"Sasuke."
"Uh—oh. I wasn't expectin' you to tell me that."
"Then why did you ask?"
"I… don't know. Seemed the polite thing to do."
Sasuke snorted, rubbing at his chin again.
"Sorry about that," said Naruto, staring. "I guess my head bumped your chin as we fell. You're probably gonna have a bruise."
"I'll tell people I got into a bar fight over the weekend."
"Wow, will they believe that?"
"No, but people I hang around with know better than to ask stupid, invasive questions."
"Yeah," he said sarcastically. "You sound like you have tons of friends."
"Says the guy about to jump off a building and kill himself."
"Aah—" Naruto tried to muster some indignant rage, but he saw his point. "Shut up."
"Amazing comeback. Is this how you treat all your saviors?"
"Are you always this arrogant?" Naruto shot back. "You're not my savior. Like I said, you should've just minded your own goddam business instead of butting into my shit."
Sasuke stared up at him, taking another slow drag of his cigarette. Then he pointed toward the ledge. "Will it help if I close my eyes? You can pretend I'm not even here."
"Don't be stupid."
"I'll leave that to you. You seem to be an expert at it."
"Why you—" Naruto took a step forward, about to grab him by the shoulder, but then he stopped. Instead, he reached out his hand and waited.
Sasuke stared at it like it was rotting and infected with gangrene.
"Take it," Naruto insisted. "At least let me help you to your feet? Or did you hurt yourself?"
"I didn't hurt myself," Sasuke replied. "You're the one who fell on top of me like an oaf."
"And you're the one who pulled me back!"
"If I'd shouted out at you, you might've accidentally fallen."
"You would've done me a favor," he mumbled, shaking his hand at him. "Just fuckin' take it already. You look like a fool sitting down there on the ground."
Again, Sasuke blinked at him.
"What?"
Sasuke, slapping his hand away, got to his feet with a little effort. Naruto kept staring, trying to determine if he was hurt, but only noticed a scratch on the back of his hand and the bruise now forming on his chin and jaw where Naruto's hard skull had smacked into him. The embarrassment of the situation finally hit him, and Naruto grimaced. What should he do now? Technically Sasuke could report him to the police for trespassing or whatever else. Maybe even assault for all he knew, and he'd had this plan to fucking die today and now it was like… Weird to continue. Should he find another building? Do it another day? Try another method?
"Well," said Sasuke as he dropped his cigarette on the ground and stamped it out. "I'm going back to my office. Good luck—" He narrowed his eyes. "Nameless blond idiot."
"God, that smirk of yours is annoying," Naruto said, not exactly having meant to speak it aloud.
"Are you… for real?" Sasuke asked. "You seriously come up here to kill yourself, I pull you back in, and you just insult me as if we know each other? Are you mentally disturbed? Should I call your guardian? Perhaps you have a medical bracelet on you, an address I can return you to?"
"I'm not a dog!" Naruto crossed his arms to his chest. "How the hell am I supposed to know what to do next? I've never tried killin' myself before, and I certainly didn't expect some jackass to walk out at the exact moment I was gonna jump and pull on my belt and hug me to the ground."
"Hug you?"
"Tackle, hug. Whatever. Either way, I felt sexually harassed, so go back to your office already."
"Definitely mental," Sasuke mumbled. "Alright then." He turned his back to Naruto and gave an odd and infuriating backward wave. "Try not to screw it up this time, idiot."
"The—You… you bastard!" Naruto ran up to him, grabbed his shoulder, and spun him around. "Maybe if people were a little more sensitive when other people are clearly goin' through shit, we all wouldn't be jumpin' off rooftops in order to die and escape it all!"
"Sensitive?" Sasuke's expression darkened. "Why? Because you can't handle your shit? Some of us can. Some of us go through a lot and don't take the easy way out. That's why I'm not stopping you. It's better for the rest of us. Those of us who can and have toughed it out."
"You think you're better than me?" Naruto snarled. "Think you've been through more than me? You don't even know me!"
"Yet you seem to think your life is harder than mine just because I'm not throwing myself off of a ledge."
"Whatever." Naruto gave him a push. "Fuck off. Go back to your office. Hopefully you have a window on this side so you can watch me pass as I go down."
"I do," said Sasuke. "And I look forward to it."
"Asshole."
"Idiot."
Frustrated enough that he wanted to punch that goddam smirk off Sasuke's face, Naruto could only stand there with his hands pulled into tight fists.
"I hate you," he spat childishly.
"Good for you."
Sasuke, turning his back to him again, walked away. He opened the rooftop door and slammed it shut. Naruto stood there in disbelief, seething in anger. Good God he'd never wanted to punch someone so badly, and he'd punched his fair share of people. Even as a kid he'd gotten into a lot of fights. He'd been bullied for being short for his age, but that didn't stop him from taking on much bigger guys. Naruto definitely knew how to fight, and Sasuke… he was just so, so…
Fucking smug.
Letting out a frustrated sigh, Naruto gave one last glance of longing at the ledge before jogging toward the door.
Before he offed himself, he wanted to make sure Sasuke knew exactly how he felt, otherwise he'd be stuck haunting this building forever because of some stupid unresolved issues involving a nosy bastard who had all the sensitivity of a teaspoon.
TBC
As any artist does, I use writing to work through stuff, but I'd like to say that if you have depression or thoughts of suicide, please reach out to people in your circle, professionals, or call/text a hotline. Just reach out to anybody. Don't give up :)
