AN: AU, These first two chapters are different versions of the same story. You decide which is the best; I couldn't choose so I decided to share them both.
Back Roads (version 1)
Loki is holding her and she's crying.
His Jane is crying and all he can feel is ice.
The car's pulled over on the back country road and she's in his lap sobbing, terrified and he can hardly pull himself together enough to murmur nonsense into her hair and clench his arms around her as she falls to pieces, holding the shards together as they squash themselves between the driver's seat and the steering wheel.
Because all the blood tests don't lie, and her broken wrist that won't heal doesn't lie and all the baby rabbits he'd "borrowed" from the 4H's warren to pull out of a silk top hat at her birthday won't change That Moment. Those awful words in the doctor's office that led them after forty minutes of silence to her hyperventilating and begging him to pull the car over as she broke down.
Because words like "caught it early" and "good odds" aren't enough to turn the tide against that one insidious word and all the weeks of Jane slowly fading without him knowing what on earth he could DO.
They're supposed to be running wild for their last summer before senior year and adulthood and planning for Homecoming and Prom; squabbling over which college to attend and him saving up for a ring.
But instead, here they are.
So he clings her form to him; molding them so not a molecule could come between. As if he could take it inside him and battle the disease for her; horrified to let her go, to admit that it was true. Wishing that it was his fault - that her uncle's wild accusation of Loki convincing her to do drugs with him could explain her behavior and health - just so Loki could have some control over this demon.
Words issued from a reedy voice pulling him closer back to hellish reality.
"Oh Loki." He hears her give a great big snuff and somehow turned back from stone enough to tilt his head down to meet watering brown eyes with red rims and salt encrusted lashes.
The most beautiful girl in the world with every burden on her slim shoulders and she thinks of him; that's his Jane.
Her next words were a whisper "I'm so sorry."
He felt his brows draw together in confusion. "Why?" He didn't want to acknowledge this moment for what it really was and he didn't know if he wanted her to answer him. All he wanted in life was right here in his arms; a bit more weepy than he liked but Jane had been know to cry during Hallmark commercials during those special times of the month.
And his old rage at the world flared inside him. "I'm not the one with -." He caught his tongue but the word still hung between them.
Cancer
Silently Jane's gentle hand raises to his face and, softly touching it, she draws her hand back to show a drop of water.
No, a tear.
And there, with the summer sung beating down and the smell of wet hay from the breeze, the second dam breaks.
