Hey hey hey! No flames please. I'm really proud of this, and I hope you like it too.

Rian Deyvn Hallows belongs to thelast-lullaby, while Kenzie Louanne Trese belongs to me. Nathan Kedd Goldberg belongs to c2ndy2c1d, and James Rave Castellanos belongs to kirakurry. I do not own any character(s) in Ed, Edd n Eddy.

". . ." = speaking verbally

'. . .' = thoughts, speaking mentally

I do reference a quote from The Face by Dean Koontz and a quote from Skin Trade from The Anita Blake series by Laurell K. Hamiliton.


Chapter 1: Of Common Interest

When Rian and Kenzie has started this whole fiasco, it could definitely question is that the things through. Of course Rian would just say something along the lines of "what Rian wants Rian gets and Rian wanted Rave." Kenzie would just say to convince yourself that Nat and Rave already having relationship issues and that her and Rian were obviously the solutions.

Call Your Girlfriend

But whatever you do

It's time you had the talk

Don't call them home wreckers

Give Your Reasons

Because you just might find yourself Six Feet Under

Say Its Not Her Fault

While looking down from the high heavens, trying to explain to God

But You Just Met Somebody New

Why you even thought it was a good idea to mess with those two innocent little girl.


A young girl with auburn red, shoulder length hair and bright hazel eyes walked down the aisle of the Barnes and Noble bookstore. Her nose was in a book she was prepared to buy, with the basket full of books she was already carrying.

It took one book by Dean Koontz for her to want every damn book he's ever published. She was only on chapter on of the book she had in her hand, and she was already addicted.

"Ethan had expected a worm: earthworm, corn earworm, cutworm, leech, caterpillar, trematode, one type of worm or another. Instead, nestled in the apple flesh, he found-"

She was unable to finish the line she had been reading, when collided into another person, her book falling unceremoniously face down. She had to steady herself with the book case behind her to keep her and her load of books from falling.

"What the flipknickel bro, I was rea-"

A groan interrupted her, causing her to snap her head in the direction the noise came from. Her mind went blank, as she felt her face heat up.

'Woah...' Though it felt like she hit the book shelf itself, she couldn't really say she wouldn't mind taking another hit if it looked anything like the guy in front of her.

The guy was lean, but muscular from what it felt like. His hair was cut short, and a rich mahogony color that suited his skin tone. And if the glasses perched atop his nose didn't accentuate his mesmerising chocolate eyes, then may her over-bearing shark of a best friend eat her alice. She involuntarily knocked the shelf of the bookcase she was holding onto just in case. Her eyes wandered down to the man's lips, noticing they were moving.

"My apologies, yes?" She blinked twice.

The boy just rolled his eyes, brushing himself off, before speaking again, "You should really watch where you're going. Especially in such a public setting."

'Oh great, another asshole.' Kenzie thought with another blink of her eyes. "Yes of course, my apologies once again."

She kneeled down and picked up the fallen books the boy must have dropped when they collided. The boy looked down at her, just a bit surprised she wasn't put off by his attitude.

'Most people are.' He thought bemusedly.

Kenzie handed the books back to the boy, and turned into the direction she knew her red head friend would be. She was pretty sure she would also love to hear about her interaction with Mr. Intimidating. She was about to leave when she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was the same boy, holding out... her book. She had forgotten about it momentarily.

"I notcied you are a fan of the author, Dean Koontz," he nodded his head to the basket she was holding.

She flushed slightly, taking the book. "Oh yes, you could say that. I just finished his book Tick Tock, and now I can't wait to finish this one," she gestured to the book in her hand.

The boy smirked at her, actually smirked at her, and said, "That's one of my favorites. What do you like about him?"

"Hmm, I think I like the suspense he creates in his books. The mulitple point of views, so you're getting a full coverage of the story. And the way he tricks the readers into thinking they've got the book all figure out. In actuality, they know nothig whatsoever."

The boy chuckled, making her insides that much warmer, "Yes, I agree. He seems to enjoy messing with the reader's mind."

She laughed along with him, "That he does." Her laughter was cut short when her phone vibrated. Quickly reading the text, she gave the boy an apologetic smile, "I have to meet someone in the Supernatural Romance section. But I really enjoyed conversing with you."

She started walking once more back down the aisle without hearing the other boy respond. It wasn't till she saw homw out of the corner of her eye did she realize he was walking with her. She raised an eyebrow at him, "What? Stalking me now?"

He scoffed, "Hardly, I have someone to meet in that section as well."

"Uh huh. Of course you do."

"I do."

"I believe you."

"Why do I feel like you don't?"

"You're paranoid?"

"Hn."

This went on as they made it to the other side of the bookstore where both of their friends were.

A fiery red head girl with lilac eyes skimmed the pages of one her favorite Anita Blake books.

"He stopped being careful and used all that length, hard and fast, pounding himself into me until the sound of flesh hitting flesh was loud, and I screamed for him; shrieked for him, orgasming from the feel of hitting that spot deep inside of me, and having to stop and still he wasn't done. He started again, this time a little more shallow, a little different twist of hips, and I felt the warm, heavy weight growing inside me again..."

She couldn't stop the squeal that erupted from her as her face brightened with a blush. She attempted to cover her face with the book, when she felt the back of her hand hit something bony.

"OW!"

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

"Shuush!" "Shoosh!" "SHOOSSHH!"

Rian winced and whispered, "sorry!"

"Was that really necessary?"

She turned to the boy, who was rubbing his nose, with teal colored hair, "Did you really need to be behind me?"

"Well I was trying to figure out what book you were reading."

"Aw, well did that work out for ya? I mean the book did get rammed into your face." She gave him a smirk.

"It didn't work for shit. But that was a very hot sex scen you were reading there."

"Oh, this right here?" She motioned to the book, "Doesn't even compare to the other in her other books."

The teal haired boy's eyes went wide, "There's more?"

"Oh sweetie," giving him a laugh of amusement, "there's twenty-two books in the series."

"Good lord."

"Uh huh." She slipped her arm around one the boys with a mischievous smile, "come hither child. We're going to start from the very beginning so we can convert you."

He grinned down at her, allowing the red head to lead him to the Anita Blake section.

Just when Rian was about toshow the teal haired boy, who she found out whose name was Nathan Kedd Goldberg, the foursome between Anita, Asher, Richard, Jean-Claude, the JAWS theme song began playing. Her eyes went wide, pausing in her explanation of the Anita Blake. She pulle dout her phone, just looking at the caller ID, but not bringing herself to answer it.

Nat came beside her, looking at the still ringing phone, "You gonna answer that red?"

Rian shook her head with slight fear in her eyes. She let out a breath when the ringing finally stopped. She took the moment to text her friend, Kenzie: "Code Shark Fang! I repeat, Code Shark Fang! Check out lane, pronto!"

"Who's Pandzie?"

"You're about to meet her, let's go!" She grabbed a pile of books she was going to purchase, with Nat grabbing the other pile and following her.

Kenzie paused to look at her phone, reading the text. She became slightly pale, enough to draw James Rave Castellanos. He told her to just call him Rave.

"Hey, are you alright? You don't look so good."

"Uh, yes, yes, just dandy. Hey, come with me to buy these books?" She was proud she spoke without stammering.

"Sure, I don't have anything better to do."

"Don't you have that friend to meet up with?"

"Yeah, but he can wait."

"Sure? He won't mind?"

"Oh no, he'll definitely mind. He'll most likely get pissed and bitch at me."

"You like to aggravate people don't you?"

Rave just smirked, leaving Kenzie to shake her head with a small smile, "You're so mean." She laughed lightly, as they walked to checkout lanes.

It wasn't long before both sets of friends were in the checkout lanes.

"Sharkbait!"

"Who! Who! Ha!"

"Oh my glob, did he text you?"

"No, the guy keeps calling me though."

Right then, the JAWS theme song interrupted them, all four of them staring at the phone.

"Answer it," Kenzie whispered.

"Why are you whispering?" Nat asked in a whisper.

"Because he can smell fear," she whispered even more softly, watching Rian answer the phone finally.

Rave, lifted an eyebrow, "Through the phone?"

"Yessss," she practically hissed.

"Bonjour." Rian answered with a semi-cheerful voice.

"Avez-tu un desir de mort?"

"Peut- être."

"Ne me tente pas."

Rian purred into the phone at the response, catching Nat, and even Rave's, attention.

"What the hell is she saying?" Nat asked

"I have no cluse, it must be serious though."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because the person she's talking to and her only speak in french when they are angry or emotional."

"Dude, that's totally crazy, cause me and Rave have a friend whose like that."

"No way? Motherfuckin' miracles bro."

Nat stared at Kenzie with his mouth agape, while Rave chuckled. When Nat finally realized he was staring, he wiped his mouth just in case he was drooling.

"Are you Pandzie?"

". . . Pandzie?" Kenzie blinked and then clapped her hands in realization. "Oh, is that what she put me under? Yeah, so I like pandas. Like a lot. So I guess, she just combined both."

"Well that makes a lot more sense. Well hello Panzie, I'm Nat," he held out his hand to her.

She laughed, "its a pleasure to meet you Nat," taking his hand and shaking.

"Can I assume this the friend you were suppose to meet up with?" She asked Rave. When she got no answer, she turned to him, about to ask again. A smile worked its way on her face, when she noticed he was staring at Rian.

"Psst, Rave."

He finally turned to her, a dash of color spreading across his cheeks at being caught, "Yes?"

"She not when she's speaking french, huh?"

He smirked, "You could say that."

"You should see her when she's angry," Kenzie shivered and purred, "delicious. But don't tell her I said that." She said with a wink.

He laughed, "I won't, promise."

"Tu avez quitté ma cuisine dans un désastre complet."

"Quì moi?"

"Si tu ne venez pa à la maison maintenant, je viendrai là-bas et tu glisser par vos cheveux!"

Rian hit the end button so fast, she wasn't sure if the person on the other line even realized she had hung up on him. That idea went out the window when she heard JAWS oncemore. She answered the phone more.

"Avez-tu juste de raccrocher sor moi?"

"Je ne sais pas, at- I'll sonrer comre fa?" She hung up the phone. She turned to Kenzie, scratvhing her cheeck sheepishly.

Kenzie narrowed her eyes at Rian's body language, "What did she say?"

"Uh, well, I don't know exactly. I hung up on him. Twice."

Kenzie's eyes went wide.

"And he's on his way. Here. Now."

"Pinché Pendéja!"

"Don't yell at me in Spanish!"

"He's going to murder us! In BARNES AND NOBLE!"

"And I will die happy."

Kenzie face palmed herself, while taking her purchases from the cashier.

Rave tried to hide a smile, "Is she always like this?"

"No, she can get worse." Kenzie responded lowly.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Rian crossed her arms, clicking her tongue.

"Nothing dear. Nothing at all," Kenzie said while trying to pat the red head, who was trying to bit her fingers off at the same time.

Nat and Rave both gave each other amused looks.

"Anyway, are you guys in trouble?" Rave questioned.

"Yeah, do we like, need to call backup or something?" Nat piped up.

"Hmm, backup? No," Rian tapped her chin thoughtfully, "Human Body Shields? Yes, can we get two to go please and thank you."

"Human Body Shields?" Rave questioned.

"Yeah, just walk toward the exit, with us walking behind you," Kenzie supplied.

Nat looked towards Rave, questioning silently, who just shrugged, "Sure, we could do that."

"Really? Thank you uber much." Kenzie beamed at them.

"Okay, okay, enough with the pleasantries. We need to get a move on things." Rian rolled her eyes, and shooed them all forward.

"Pushy aren't we?" Rave commented.

"Extremely toots." She winked at him.

Rave glared while Rian smirked, unaffected by the glare, while the four of them made their way to the front of the store. As they were about to leave the threshild of the store, Nat and Rave bumped into a familiar friend of sorts.

"Eddward?" "Sweet cheeks?"

"Nathan? James? Its a surprise to see you both here."

"We were just about to leave."

"Oh?" Eddward lifted an eyebrow.

"Yeah? We were actually trying to help these two girls escape from this scary shark guy that speaks french when angry. Which is totally crazy, considering it sounds a lot like you." Nat laughed, "Right ladies?" He turned back to the girls, who were attempting to sneak away.

"You think we can get away?"

"I don't even know. What section doesn't he like in here."

"Uh, uhm, er- the sports section!"

"Okay, on three, we make a mad dash, all right?"

"Yeup, we got this."

"Ahem." A cough came from directly behind them. The two girls both became silent, one with an eep, and the other gulped audibly.

"Would either of you like to explain to me why I woke up to a wonderful breakfast, but a destroyed kitchen?"

"Because we love you?" Rian turned around to look at Eddward, with a puppy dog look.

"And our need for new books for our collections was greater than our want to clean?" Kenzie turned around as well, with a sweet smile.

"Those weren't the responses I was particularly looking for." Eddward growled at them. The girls didn't answer, causing him to growl again in irritation, "What?"

Rian was biting her bottom lip, and Kenize was unconciously licking her lips, both their eyes wracking up and down Eddward's body.

"Oh, nothing. Oogling." Rian said with a smirk.

"Just commiting to memory." Kenzie whispered.

For those who are a tad bit befuddled, lemme explain:

Eddward had just gotten out of the shower when he finally went down to the kitchen. He was going to place his dishes in the sink from the spledid breakfast the girls had made him. He nearly dropped the dishes, and his towel, when he took in the disaster in the kitchen. He was going to place his dishes in the sink from the splendid breakfast the girls made him. He nearly dropped the dishes and his towel, when he took in the disaster of the kitchen. He had attempted to get in contact with the girls, but Kenzie apparently ignored his text messages. And when Rian hung up on him, twice, he didn't really think to dress properly. So her just showed up at the store, in just sweats, a jacket, his converse, no shirt, and dripping wet from his shower.

"You should dress like that more often." Rian purred.

"She right, double sweet cheeks." Nat gave him a sultry grin.

Eddward actually started to blush, sluttering a bit, "I will do no such thing! I was just in a rush is all."

"Uh huh. Just like we are. THREE!" Kenzie shouted, her and Rian, making a dash. It seemd like her plan to make Eddward flustered work like a charm, giving them enought time to escpae. Until both were pulled backwards, Kenzie by the scruff of her jacket and Rian by her hair.

(Un)Fortunately, Eddward had forgotten just how much of a masochist Rian was. She let out an obscene moan, making the shark let go. She dropped to the floor next to his legs, eyes fluttering. She started patting his leg up and down, and spoke with a pleasure riddan voice, "Oh baby shark, please do that again."

Eddward swore and turned a bright head.

"Now, look what you did." Kenzie drawled out.

"Shut up Kenzie," he said as his eye twitched.

Kenzie scoffed, "Or what? You're going to punish me when we get home?"

He gave her a smirk, "That sounds like a marvelous idea."

Her eyes went wide, "No, wait. I don't wanna get punished."

"Do I get punished?" Rian asked in a soft voice, looking up at Eddward, cutely.

'Don't give in. Don't give in. You are strong.' Eddward chanted in his head, "No Rian. But you will be helping Kenzie with the kitchen. After she gets her punishment."

Kenzie whimpered and Rian pouted, "You never let me have any fun."

"Letting you guys have fun isn't my job."

"Neither is being our dad." Kenzie mumbled.

"What. Was. That." Eddward bit out.

Kenzie eeped, "Nothing." She looked down at the ground, realizing she was still be hung like a ragdoll, dangling from the floor. "Uh, you gonna let me down?"

"I might as well. People might start thinking I'm abusing you guys," Eddward dropped, with her landing in a crouch.

"Too late." Rave and Nat clipped from behind.

"I don't believe I asked for your opinions." Eddward replied snidely, looking at both boys.

"You act like we care." Rave smirked.

"Anyway Double Sweet Cheeks. Mind telling us how you got the oppurtunity to meet these absolutely ravishavle, delectable, fine, young ladies that are even able to handle such a big, scary shark like you?" Nat slung an arm around the swimmer's shoulder, unperturbed by the glare the boy gave him at being touched.

"Not as if its any of your business. But Rian is a childhood friend. And I met Kenzie by chance." He gestured to each girl shrugging the teal haired boy's arm off. "And they are my roommates now. Who have destroyed my kitchen."

"Our kitchen!" The girls simultaneously corrected the shark, having already gottne up, and brushed themselves off.

"Well our kitchen," he quoted, "needs to be cleaned, and the two of you are coming home now," he spoke sternly, while crossing his arms.

"Yes, yes father, we're coming." Kenzie liftef her books moving to the car.

"Yeah dad, no need to give yourself blue balls." Rian rolled her eyes, also grabbing her books, following Kenzie to the car.

Eddward sighed heavily, ready to follow them before Nat stopped him, "Hold on. Is there any chance of us getting to talk to the girls again?"

The shark looked at Nat suspiciously, "Now pray tell why would you want to do that?"

"Because they are hot, and interesing. And anyone who has enough guts to run out on cleaning duties from you is pretty damn awesome." Nat expressed with a wide grin.

Eddward almost sneered at the explanation he was given, but instead turned to Rave, silently questioning his motives as well. Said boy didn't answer right away, slowly turning to Eddward. "The red head is..." he clicked his tongue, "intruiging."

Eddward rolled his eyes, 'Of course they like the girls. Why wouldn't they?' He started rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Look, they are off limits. You do not touch them in any way, shape, or form. Is that understood?"

Nat nodded his head vigouriously, while Rave just gave a small smirk. Eddward grunted in response, "Good, now the girls and I are going to go home now, get the kitchen together. And if we are in a good enough mood, I'll consider texting you to come over. And when I say 'we', I mean us." He nodded to the the both of them, turned around, out the store, and to the car. He found the girls both wearing their headphones in, music blaring. Breathing through his nose, he hopped in the drivers' seat, of his all black twenty twelve challenger, and started the car.

"So what books did you buy this time?" He asked the girls as he pulled away from the curb, onto the main street. He didn't get a reply back, even though he knew they could hear them.

"Wow Kenz, I never knew this car had an echo." Rian said nonchalantly, pulling one headphone out.

"Neither did I, maybe its because its new." Kenzie pulled out an headphone as well.

"Or maybe because you guy are being brats," Eddward muttered under his breath.

"I don't know, but you know what is new? That CD store that just opened downtown." Rian ignored the shark's comment.

"Oh yeah, what's it called? Jewel's Beats or something." Kenzie looked back at Rian.

"Yeah, we haven't had a chance to check it out just yet."

"If this is your way of saying you guys want me to drive you there, you guys are going to have to talk to me," Eddward supplied.

Rian and Kenzie shared a look, before silently coming to an agreement.

"Eddward..."

"Yes."

"Baby shark, can we go to that CD store?"

"Why yes Rian, we can."

"Great. Now wipe that smirk off your face."

"Now, now. Is that anyway to speak to someone who has your life in their hands?"

"Ha! What life?"

"Yeah! All we do is go to school, work, and go on tumblr."

"Maybe the occasional drawing or oneshot."

"Other than that, we have no life unlike you Mr. Aquatic."

Eddward started zoning them out once tumblr was mentioned. 'This is going to be one long card ride,' he thought bemusedly.


A/N: That's it for now! Hope you like the first chapter, and the OCs didn't seem to out there for you guys. I'd like to say the next chapter will be up by next week, but writers block enjoys my company wayyy to much.

And I know I have other stories to update, I'm sorry. Things have been hectic, and I promised not to be one of those authors. So I will be getting those stories done and out of the way.

Oh, and here's the translation for Rian's and Eddward's conversation:

"Hello?" (Rian)

"Do you have a death wish?" (Eddward)

"Possibly." (Rian)

"Do not tempt me." (Eddward)

*purrs* (Rian)

"You left me kitchen in a complete disaster." (Eddward)

"Who me?" (Rian)

"If you do not come home now, I will come down there and drag you by the hair." (Eddward)

*click* (Rian)

"Did you just hang up on me? (Eddward)

"I don't know, did it sound like this?" (Rian)

If you wanna check me out on tumblr, my user name is diminthemoonlight. And if you wanna rp, my user name is idabbleintheworldofrp, I'm up for almost everything.

Okie dokie, toodles for now!