Sometimes we fall down
We can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's too late, it's not too late

Sometimes we would fail, on cases, on assignments, in life. We all dealt with the failures in our own way. But Ziva she would block me out it was like her outer skin was too tough. I know Ziva inside she is the same little girl that had gotten scared when her mother died and the same person inside that had cried when Ari had died.

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you, what would you wish you would've done

Sometimes I think that we are really the ones that control when we die, even if we get hit by a car we chose to leave our house or wherever we were an there for we killed ourselves. What would I had done if I could start my whole life over, even if I had already learned from my mistakes.

Yeah, we gotta' start lookin' at the hands of time we've been given
If this is all we got, then we gotta' start thinkin'
If every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta' live like we're dying

Sometimes I feel like we have to live as much as we can and hope that eventually things will start to fall into place. Hopefully one of those things will be Ziva and I. It's not exactly ideal, but I think somehow that is the way things are meant to be. Not only with me but with Probie as well once he realizes how good he has it with the Forensic Specialist Extraordinaire

We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta' tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say
Gotta' live like we're dying

We only have a certain number of hours in a day, and only a certain number of days in a week, in a month, in a year… in a lifetime. How long will it take me before I tell her I love her. The longer it takes to tell her the less time I have with her. Together.

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye?
Should be so careful who we left out of our lives
And when we long for absolution, there will be no one on the line

If I were to die right now if I would only have one call before I were to get sentenced to death. Who would I call? My mind would be screaming for practicality to call Gibbs and tell him how to get the guys before they killed someone else. What would my heart want though? To call who I love? To call… Ziva?

You never know it's a good thing 'til it's gone
You never see a crash 'til it's head on
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong?
You never know a good thing 'til it's gone

There was always that saying 'You don't know how much you would miss something until it's truly gone for you to miss it.' I didn't want that to happen with Ziva though. I already know how much I would miss her. Too much.
'If you always do what you've always done you'll always get what you've always gotten.'
I was done with my old routine. Maybe I was ready to commit.
With…
With Ziva.