Title: Hex, Chapter One
Author: Pinkcat4569
Rating: G
Description: Silly Halloween fun! Someone's been working black magic and the team aren't quite the same because of it...
Characters: Season 4-5, set after (Connor/Abby married.) Is a Jess/Becker angle, but no relationship yet.
Author's note: I mean no offense. I am not intending this to reflect a knowledge of any witchcraft or practices. I'm not sure exactly what a hex is, other than some type of spell. Also, the one who cast it is clearly evil, not meant to represent a true practitioner of any faith. This is just for fun. Also, it is not related to any other story.
1637 words, this chapter. Total words, 5505
Hex, Chapter One
Lester frowned. "I realize this looks bad," he said to the man in the even more conservative suit than he. "However, there are other things at work..."
The inspector rudely held up his hand. "Stop. I've seen enough. Our dollars are horribly misused at this...I hesitate to call it a facility. It's a freak show."
"Inspector Fife, that's not fair," said Lester.
Fife laughed in his face. "Let's take another look at your core team shall we? They hardly resemble the trained professionals you gloated about."
"As I said, they are not at their best and it's not their fault."
"No, it's yours."
"Actually, it's the witch," said a voice behind him.
The inspector rolled his eyes. "This from your top scientist. 'He's a genius,' you said."
"Did you? Aw. Thank you very much, Lester."
"Pretend you didn't hear that Connor. I plan to. Mr. Temple is very...what's the word? Unconventional in some of his theories."
"He believes in witches."
"I do, witches, zombies, aliens, time jumps and all the other sci-fi junk. I used to love it all, but now it seems kind of nerdy. Stupid curse. I hope I get back to my normal fantasy and sci-fi loving self. And soon."
Lester groaned. "Don't help me. Please."
Fife shook his head. "And if I ask him to explain how his anomaly-creating device works he says..."
Connor sighed. "I have no idea."
Fife laughed derisively.
"Right now, I have no idea. It's not my fault! And as soon as we break the witch's hex I'll know exactly how all my inventions work. I will. Promise."
Lester frowned.
Inspector Fife shook his head. "Fraudulent. Incompetent. Gross misuser of funds. Horrible leader..."
"What's he doing?" asked Connor.
"Oh, just relating all the words he'll use to describe me at my dismissal hearing."
"That's ridiculous," said Abby. "Lester is a fine leader. And we're all damn good at our jobs."
"Really? You run the menagerie," he said. He smiled a sick grin. "Go get one of your smaller, less lethal creatures and bring it to me, if you would."
Abby's face fell. "I...I can't."
"Why ever not?" he asked, feigning light-hearted ignorance.
Abby sighed. "Because right now the sight of any creature fills me with disgust and terror."
Fife laughed. "She's your best. I shudder to think who works under her."
Abby leveled a steady glare at him. "Don't. My staff is the best. My...condition does not reflect upon them."
Lester smiled.
Fife didn't seem impressed. "And your team leader? I haven't had the opportunity to meet him because as soon as we were introduced he hid under your desk!"
At that instant a loud whimpering filled Lester's office. "Please, get up," Lester said, slightly kicking Matt.
"No! Make him go away!" cried the Irishman
"Why on earth did you pick this coward to lead your main team?"
"Matt's no coward," said Abby.
"He's not usually like this," said Connor.
"No, none of you are usually like this," said Fife, sneering. He sighed. "Lester, this meeting is done and so is your position and your so called institution unless I meet the other members of the team. Now."
"Oh, boy," said Connor.
Lester straightened his tie. "Why not? Might as well have all the ammunition when you fire me."
"Funny," said Abby.
"Come on, they're right outside in Ops." Lester led the way, followed by Fife, Connor, and Abby. Matt continued to cry underneath Lester's desk.
"OK, people," said Lester. "Let's get this over with. Front and center. We'll start with Becker."
Becker walked briskly up to Fife and saluted. "Sir."
Fife's eyebrow went up. "This is more like it. You're the military leader of the ARC."
"I am."
"You've seen action?"
"Yes, sir."
The inspector smiled. "I've heard a lot about these new weapons. Since their inventor, your team leader is...indisposed...I want you to show them to me. Take me to the armory."
Becker winced. "That won't be possible..."
The inspector cut him off. "Why? Doesn't anything work in this place?"
"Oh, the weapons work fine and my second here is ready to demonstrate them to you." He motioned to another fit body in a black uniform. He held a small EMD.
"No! I ordered you!" cried Fife.
Becker sighed and looked at Lester. "Tell him," said the director.
"Yes, Captain, tell me."
Becker turned red and looked like he'd rather undergo torture. "I...um...seem to have lost..."
"Lost what?"
"My taste...for weaponry."
"Excuse me?"
Becker summoned his courage and looked directly at the inspector. "I can't fire a weapon, Sir. I can't even hold one."
Fife sighed. "I don't suppose you are all playing a prank, are you?"
Everyone looked away. "I didn't think so," said Fife. He walked over to the Lieutenant who let him take and examine the EMD. "This is the small version, hey? It doesn't create as big a charge?"
The second in command shook his head. Fife nodded. Suddenly he smiled, turned, and tossed the EMD to Becker.
The captain made a very un-Becker-like scream and dropped the thing like it was red hot.
Then he fainted.
Lester moaned and tried to massage the tension away from his own forehead.
"This place is going to be torn down brick by insane brick!"
"You can't do that!" cried Abby.
"You are overreacting," said Lester.
"Just let us break the Hex first."
The inspector stared at Connor, ready to say something snide. But behind Connor he saw a young woman. "As if you don't have enough problems. Women should not show that much leg or...cleavage. It's disrespectful." He scoffed. "My...acquaintances here at the ARC warned me about your field coordinator."
Lester glared at him. "Your spies. How dare they! First, my field coordinator is the best in her field. It's wrong to judge her on appearance. Secondly, I am not the fashion police. My employees may wear whatever they like as long as all sensitive areas are covered. If you see vulgarity, than you are looking for it."
The inspector rudely laughed. "People should reflect their competency. Look at her, even she's embarrassed with what she wears."
The woman blushed and moved closer to Lester. "I apologize."
"Nonsense," he said. "You're attire is fine."
She shook her head. "I did try to resist the...urge." She hung her head.
He smiled kindly at her and removed his suit coat, draping it over her. "It's not your fault. We'll get this all sorted."
She smiled weakly at him.
"I'd say your field coordinator is at odds with her own image."
Lester turned back to the inspector. "My field coordinator is very confident in her ability and her image. She is quite formidable. However, it just so happens that this is in fact, not my field coordinator. May I introduce Miss Emily Merchant?"
The inspector stared at him in disbelief. "I was under the impression that Emily Merchant had been transplanted here by an anomaly. My information stated she was a Victorian."
"I am."
"But..."
Abby burst out yelling, "We've been trying to tell you! No one is acting normally! It's part of life here at the ARC!"
At that, Lester laughed. "Very true."
"We're all under a hex of um, what's the word?" asked Connor.
Fife laughed.
Abby smiled compassionately at Connor. "Opposites."
"Right," said Connor. "The witch put a hex on us to turn us opposite to our own nature so we'd hate what we do and who we are. Kind of vindictive and smart, actually. If this continues we may in fact stop chasing those yellow flashing light things and the beasties that come out."
Lester groaned. "Try to sound more professional, Connor."
"Sorry. Anyway, the point I'm making is this isn't us. Abby here loves the creatures, I promise you."
She blushed and smiled. "Thank you Connor."
He nodded. "Matt is brave and as a leader he's uh...uh..oh! Competent!"
Fife shook his head. "He can't even remember words!"
Abby glared at him.
Connor continued, "Becker's in love with his bloody guns."
"Despite being out cold from holding one," said Fife.
"Please stop interrupting him," said Abby sweetly. Lester smiled. "Go on, Connor," she said.
He looked blankly at her. "What I was saying?"
Fife burst out with a sneering laugh.
"You were describing the team," Abby said. "Emily is next."
"Right!" Connor glanced at Emily wearing one of Jess' bright orange ensembles under Lester's coat. She self-consciously pulled the coat tighter. "She never shows this much skin, she's modest. And for a Victorian, she's pretty, um, oh...lethal. She's learned to survive."
"I am not quite as civil as I once was, no matter how docile I now appear." She looked at Becker and smirked. "I'd probably even obey one of his orders now."
Lester laughed. "I wouldn't go that far. Some of their behavior has changed, without a doubt. Certain core characteristics are in tact. Abby and Connor are still a devoted pair. Becker, despite the incident with the gun, remained a loyal, trustworthy leader of his men."
"Even in this condition," continued Lester, "They are dedicated to me, each other, and this facility. As for Miss Merchant, she is still in control, practical and cautious. Inspector Fife, you should thank her for not answering your insults with a well placed elbow to your throat."
Emily grinned bashfully. "He is correct, actually."
Fife sighed. "Are you all quite finished with this gushing?"
"No," said Abby. "Connor?"
"What?"
She smiled patiently. "You forgot to describe yourself."
He smiled. "Oh, I'm a genius. Promise."
End of Chapter One
