There sat a very grumpy NoLife King in a pair of red and black swim trucks with a big yellow beach umbrella as he rubbed on sunscreen. "I hate the beach" Alucard grumbled as he rubbed some sunscreen on his arm.

"Oh suck it up Alucard at least you're not stuck in your room that you complain you're in too much" Came Integra's voice behind him.

"You know I hate the beach" Alucard groaned.

"Yes but I wanted to come here because the queen said I needed to take a break so I choose the beach" Integra answered the pouting vampire.

"Yea and because you know I hate it!" the NoLife King whined.

"Well and that too" Integra snickered and walked close to the water to reveal her in a green two piece bathing suit.

Walter came up in one of those old English men bathing suits "Come on Alucard it's not all that bad" Walter said with a smile.

"Yes it is!" Alucard argued.

"No it's not Master" Seras said walking by in a yellow bikini and sunscreen on all visible parts of her body.

"Not you too Police Girl!" Alucard replied and crossed his arms.

"Eh Monsieur Alucard it'z not zat bad" Came the French man Pip in camo swim trunks.

Alucard just kept his arms crossed, acting like a child that didn't get the toy he wanted as he pouted about being at the beach.

"Oh come on Monsieur Alucard just look at all zhe pretty women, eh?" Pip replied pointing to some girls in bathing suits and bikini's.

Alucard rolled his eyes "You know you have a one track mind" The Vampire King said.

"Oh and what iz zat?" Pip asked.

"Girls, boobs, and money" Alucard replied.

"Ha ha funny" Pip said and walked off to flirt with the girls.

"Why is Master being so grumpy Sir Integra?" Seras asked the Hellsing leader.

"Because he's just a big baby" Integra replied as she walked into the water.

"I am not! I just got sun burn the last time!" Alucard shot back.

Seras walked into the water with Integra "That's all sun burn? Wow Master you are a baby" Seras answered.

"Oh shut up Police Girl!" Alucard snapped at her.

Integra then grinned "Oh Alucard why don't you come out and swim with us?" she said in a sing song voice.

"NEVER!" Alucard screamed.

"Awe but why?" Integra teased the grumpy vampire.

"Because the last time I got sun burn!" He shouted at her.

"Oh it wasn't that bad" Integra replied.

"Not that bad? You smacked it and it hurt a lot!" Alucard yelled.

"Oh you're just a big baby, Seras is out here" Integra taunted.

"Well she'll regret it later" he shot back.

"But Master please?" Seras whined.

"NO!" Alucard screamed.

"Alucard you're making a scene" came Walter's voice as he sat in a chair reading a book in the sun.

Alucard looked at him "Walter you remember what she did, right?" Alucard asked the aging man.

"Why yes I do Alucard but you must remember also she was 14 and at that age most kids found someone in pain funny" Walter stated still reading his book.

"Well yea but-" Alucard couldn't finish before Walter spoke again.

"Alucard think she's 23 now and has matured into a smart, beautiful young lady do you think she'd stoop so low as to be that immature again?" Walter said to the vampire.

Alucard thought for a minute "Well yea I guess you're right Walter" Alucard replied and put on a lot more sunscreen.

"Have fun," Walter said as Alucard moved from his shady safe place into the sun leaving Walter to think, "And may God have mercy on you Alucard"

"Awe so the big baby finally came out of his crib, yes?" Integra snickered.

"Yes and I'm not a baby, I'm out in the sun aren't I?" Alucard replied.

"Yes that is true, I guess you've grown up" Integra laughed with a smile on her face.

Alucard opened his mouth to say something but just closed it and smiled as he watched Integra get squashed by Seras.

"Ha ha got you Sir!" Seras laughed.

Integra turned to Seras and squashed her back "How do you like it?" she laughed back.

Alucard watched as his fledgling and master squashed each other with water till he was met with a clear cold liquid to the face "That's it!" He growled playfully and started squashing the girls.

Walter took a glance over his book to see the sight and chuckled as he returned to reading till a shadow blocked his light. Walter looked up to see Pip covered in kiss and slap marks with a big grin on his face "Having fun I'm guessing?" Walter asked the French man.

"Oh yea" he replied walking over to one of the chairs to sit down and take a nice nap in the sun.

The sound of squashing and laugher could be heard as Integra and Seras squashed Alucard as he squashed them back.

Hour's pasted and it was time to go back to the mansion so they packed everything up and headed back to take showers then head to bed.


The next day Alucard sat in his room in pain from the sun burn he had gotten "How didn't Police Girl get sun burn?" He questioned himself till Integra called for him. Alucard got up hissing in pain as he did so and fazed through the floors till he got to Integra's office "Yes Master?" he asked hiding his pain.

"Alucard I was just wondering how you liked the beach yesterday" Integra asked the NoLife King.

"It really wasn't that bad as I thought it would be Master" Alucard answered.

That's good Alucard," Integra said with a smile then spoke again, "Alucard come over here for a minute ok?"

Alucard thinking nothing of it walked over to his master around her desk and kneeled with a bow "Yes Master?" he asked.

"Well Alucard I just thought you'd like to know something" Integra said.

"And what is that Master?" Alucard asked confused.

"What does it feel to be tricked again?" She asked with a smirk smacking Alucard's sun burn on his back.


Ok so I thought of this because of my friends so I wrote this little funny story here

I blame my friend Carly and Natalie for this story! XD