Where It All Went Wrong
Summary: It has been a year since the shooting, Emma is a grade 11 and Jay is back and making up his 11th year. Emma is dealing with even more problems than ever and Jay is there to support her. Right? Read more to find out.
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the characters from the show. The only things I claim are the names you do not recognize.
The harsh sounds of the alarm woke Emma from her deep slumber on the first day of school. Shit. She thought. She slammed her clock and pulled herself out of bed.
She walked in to her bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She was surprised every time she looked in the mirror. Even with the lack of sleep, and the teary nights, she still looked herself in the morning. Her eyes were no longer as cold as once upon a time less than a year ago. Her face never became gaunt and her smile was brighter than ever. Emma opened the drawer and pulled it out. She smiled as she looked down at the white powder that made her life so easy. She poured a small bit out on to her small mirror and used her razor to cut a line. She snorted her cocaine and sighed. That bright smile again, that smile that didn't belong to that person was in the mirror. Emma let the drugs take control. She hid the baggie back in the drawer under the wooden bottom no one knew about. She was happy knowing she had her escape. I'll go to the washroom during lunch for my daytime dose.
Emma splashed some cold water on her face and turned the shower on. After she pulled off her clothes she stepped under the hot water. She let it drip down her body and she lost herself in the steam. Taking showers calmed her; she washed her hair and slowly cleaned her body. She remembered her sins and felt as if she was washing them away. Each dirty deed with Jay, every use of her dirty drug, each cruel intention would fall into the drain as she showered. But once she turned the knob and the water was off they came right back.
She stepped out of the shower and wrapped one towel around her body and a smaller towel around her head. She walked over to her closet to pick her clothes. She looked through everything. She found so many pastels she thought she would barf. I don't want that anymore. She thought as she remembered her sweet 'Save the earth' person she once was. She finally found a denim skirt that came about mid thigh and a black sleeveless shirt that had a low v-neck with a string criss-crossing over the v. Emma found some chunky black flip flops and a silver chain with an E on it. She walked back in to her bathroom after she set her outfit on her bed and dried her hair. Once finished she dressed and did her makeup. Emma applied heavy black eye liner with smoky eye shadow and light lip-gloss.
She walked upstairs hearing her parents concerned voices again.
"She's been like this for weeks Christine. We have to do something." Snake said.
"Emma isn't ready. She's been through a lot in the past year. We have to let her come to us."
"We can't just wait. Something might happen again, she's been so self-destructive. We need to take action Spike. Grow a fucking spine!"
"Stop. Stop now, Emma's going to be up soon and we are not going to let her we know about it."
Emma stomped the first step as she walked upstairs to let her parents know she was on her way up. She opened the door and smiled at them.
"Hey mom, I don't want to be late to school so I'm just going to start walking now okay?" Emma said as she grabbed a piece of toast.
"Yeah that's fine honey." Spike said with a smile. "Have a good day." Emma flashed her smile at her parents and walked out the door.
Emma took a deep breath as the crisp air hit her face. She heard the leaves crunch under her feet as she walked to Degrassi. She pulled on the strap to her bag as she closed in on the school. It made her nervous to know she was on her way to the place that had caused her so much pain. It's a new year, and it's a new me. She thought as she made her way over.
She saw Manny sitting by the steps with Craig. Emma had regained a close friendship with Manny over the summer. Manny did not know about the many colorful aspects to Emma's escapes. Manny had no idea why Emma was happy again; all she cared about was that Emma was her friend. And Emma was fine with that. She could do what she wanted and keep parts of her old life the same.
Emma walked up to Manny "Hola chica."
"Em! Thank god you're here, can you believe we're back already?"
"Psh, no. Not ecstatic to be here honestly, but hey. It's school, who is happy?"
Manny giggled, "Me silly. I like the school year, I thrive on drama."
Emma laughed and nodded. Craig interrupted, "I can't believe they let him back."
Emma was confused. "What are you talking about Craig?" Manny scoffed, "Didn't you hear?" Emma shook her head. Manny sighed, "You need to regain your control of gossip. Hatzilakos let Jay back to redo his year." Emma scowled and turned around.
Sure enough there he was. Jay Hogart had returned, the same guy with the backwards cap and baggy jeans. He was walking up towards the steps and smiled at Emma. She just scowled at him as he made his way past her. "Hey Greenpeace. Ready to save the vegetarians from the mystery meat this year?"
"Don't you have some girls to infect?" Emma sneered.
"Ouch. Next time I'll let you put on the rubber." He smiled and walked through the doors of Degrassi. Emma stood frozen and stunned. Her body filled with rage that consumed her; she could feel nothing else. Manny rubbed Emma's arm, "Em, he's a dickhead. Nobody gives a shit about that anymore." Emma just nodded; she wasn't really listening to Manny. Manny grabbed Emma's arm and Craig followed as they made their way up the steps inside the school. Emma could only fear the worst when she crossed the threshold back in to Degrassi High.
Emma walked through the halls with Manny making their way to their lockers. The stares were enough to tell Emma nothing had changed. People watched her as she walked, whispers of words she could not understand but was sure they were about her past floated through the halls.
Emma opened her locker and put her head inside taking deep slow breathes as she remembered that night.
'Ready for the van tonight?'
'No Jay I don't think I'm in the mood.'
'Then why are you here?'
'I just . . . needed to escape.'
Jay nodded and put his hand on her knee. She looked down and pushed it off. Jay persisted and grabbed Emma's hand.
'Come on, you know you'll have fun.'
Emma simply sighed and pulled herself off of the table to follow Jay in to the van.
She did not realize that night it wouldn't be a blue bracelet. She received her first red one. Jay returned the favor she had so many times performed for him.
Jay thought about how he wanted her to understand he did care. He was not just in it for himself; he needed her for his own escape as well. Emma's moans lead him in to a world he would never come to without her. She loved every minute until the van door opened. There stood a drunken Amy with another random guy with a smile on his face. Emma screamed and shoved Jay off of her. She grabbed her panties and ran. Tears streamed down her face as she continued her way home, no stopping, and no returning. It was over.
Emma?
The voice sounded so far away.
Emma?
"Emma!"
"Huh?" Emma had been awaken from her daydream of the past by Manny's constant talking.
"We have class in like two minutes, grab your shit and let's go." Manny was in a rush. She did not want to be late, she and Emma both wanted to change their image. Though in very different ways, Manny didn't want to be known as the school slut anymore and Emma did not want to be the cause girl. Things were changing.
Emma put her MI books in her bag and nodded. Manny pecked Craig on the lips and they made their way to class. Manny and Emma quickly made their way to their seats as Simpson commented on their 'impeccable timing'. Emma was in such a rush to keep up with Manny she didn't even notice Jay in the back of the class.
Emma logged on only to immediately receive an instant message from Jay. 'Yay classes together, we'll be closer than ever green peace.'
Emma scowled. She replied, 'Yeah, now I'll get to see what failing looks like in action.'
'Don't worry I know you're watching me ;-)'
Emma couldn't stand him. 'Maybe you are just making believe I am looking as the three inches below your belt begins to stand high.'
Jay knew how to push her buttons, 'Three inches that made you gag. Don't worry babe you can cough all you want.'
"Em." Manny whispered.
"Yeah?"
"Want to hang out today after school."
Emma sighed, "Sure."
"Kay. We can do our work at your house."
"Do you have something to share with the class ladies?" Simpson asked.
"No sir. Just needed to ask Emma to help me sign on to the server." Manny replied. Simpson simply nodded and continued with his lesson.
Emma did not reply to Jay's last message but she did turn around to look at him. He returned his signature smirk. Chills ran down Emma's spine. She knew he had control. He could arouse her with nothing but that small smirk. His eyes remained glued to her; even after she turned he continued to stare at her. Emma felt his eyes on her. She tried to ignore him, she wanted nothing else than to forget he existed but it seemed Jay Hogart had other plans.
Finally the class bell rang and Emma was free to go to a class she did not have with Manny. Manny smiled at Emma and said, "See you at lunch?" Emma nodded, "I'll be a little late though." "Kay."
Emma walked to her science class and endured it for the next period. She did not pay attention to any of her classes, science or the next periods after that either. She only noticed the stares and whispers from everyone else. Even people she considered friends once upon a time, J.T. Liberty, and Toby stared just as the others did. Their cruel judgmental eyes followed her as she wandered. Emma smiled when the bell rang signaling lunch; she made her way to the nearest bathroom. "Anyone in here?" She walked around opening stalls to make sure it was empty. She walked to the door and locked it and put her bag on the counter. She pulled out a small mirror and her special bag of cocaine. A smile crept on her face as she cut the line. She snorted and pulled up to look at her face. Knowing the effects kicking in she quickly hid her secret away in her bag. She cleaned up her face and headed to the cafeteria.
"Where is she . . . oh there she is. Emma!"
Emma walked over to the table where Manny was sitting with Craig. She put her salad down on the table and dropped down on the seat.
"Ugh, I'm already exhausted. Today's been a drag." Manny sighed and looked at her friend. "Only four more periods." Emma nodded and took a bite of her salad. Manny and Craig were talking animatedly about his band and his upcoming gig. Emma tried to pay attention but lost concern for the topic, especially when she noticed Jay walk in.
I hope you liked the first chap.
Please review!
