I don't know what the boys up to out there but whatever it is I don't need it, not today. Tomorrow is the 12th September which probably means nothing to you but at 9:43pm it'll be exactly 38 years since my dad killed himself. This years different though, this year I'm older than he was when he did it, which has got me thinking that it's time I got my life together and most importantly sorted my love life out.

That was all my intention until I heard Steve and Gerry talking about them having set Gerry up that night. See normally I couldn't have cared less about Gerry's conquests but I've come to realize that I do love him, don't say a word as I figured everyone probably knew but I didn't, I didn't know what non-family love felt like.

I know I can't blame Gerry for going on dates, especially when he doesn't know how I feel but I feel irrationally angry and cheated but still curious enough to want to know more.

"Gerry want to go for a drink?" I know he has plans but it has to be serious if he doesn't want to go for a drink with me, especially if he remembers what day tomorrow is.

"I'm sorry Sandra but I have plans tonight."

"Okay." I sound upset and he's realized, I promised myself I wouldn't do this.

"I would but it's important Sandra."

"A date is that important?!"

"What's really going on here Sandra?" Now what am I supposed to say, I can't even walk away and ignore him, I could lie but he has a talent of seeing straight through me. I'm surprised he never said anything or noticed my feelings before, but now I'm struggling to find to explain and get out of this particular conversation. Words in all situations just seem to by pass me and without even thinking about it we're kissing. His hands tangle in my hair as I bring my arms up and around his neck and words are irrelevant.

"Wait Gerry, you have a date tonight."

"I don't Sandra, is that what this was about?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to speak to someone about my hylophobia not a date."

Words become irrelevant again as we give into our need to be together and we're kissing again. We both know what we needed to as we've began to set about untangling ourselves in favor of going home to continue.