This is a KuroFai story taking place before acid Tokyo. Warning, Kuro-puu swears very very badly.
Disc: If I owned Tsubasa I would be frothing at the mouth. No froth, hence no owning.
If he wasn't already freezing to death he would have killed himself long ago.
"Kuro-pon, does that stalactite look familiar? Or is it a stalagmite?"
His sword was starting to look like an escape rout right about now.
"Kuuuro-riiinnn! I think we're going in circles!" The blond man turned a half pirouette to look at him, pale blue eyes and skin looking garish in the low light, only his hair seemed to glow like a bonfire. He was hating that hair right now, it was giving him a sever headache.
He rubbed his temples grumpily for the fifteenth time and said "I told you, we're going in circles!" Fai pouted at him, flipping the too long sleeves of his insanely puffy coat about like floppy batons.
"But we always go right! They say to get out of a maze you have to turn one way all the time!"
He was going to get burn marks beside his eyes if this kept up. "Every turn we've taken has been ninety degrees! Do that four times and you're right where you started!"
"But Kuro-chu, that would mean we're going in squares, not circles."
He would like to say his response was dignified and logical, something that would shut up the skinny bastard and get them going again.
But telling someone to go fuck a wall was hardly logical.
Does it mean you've finally lost your marbles when you start seeing monkeys following you around? He blinked and did a double take, looking suspiciously down the dark cold tunnel where he'd seen movement.
"Asama telmarten shaque zhnesnaku Kuro-snet?" Fai garbled at him, nearly making him jump. They had lost the ability to understand each other about an hour back. Knowing it mean they had strayed too far from their translator Mokona they had tried to go back the opposite way, but their languages remained as alien as ever, and they soon gave up, continuing their search for an exit. Kurogane had assumed that maybe he would get some peace of mind now that he didn't have to talk to the idiot with him, but Fai remained as annoying as ever, finding it amusing to poke him in the ass whenever he wasn't paying attention. Kurogane did not like to be poked in the ass, by anyone.
He shook his head at the mage, answering with an "It was nothing" though he knew he wouldn't be understood. Hell, he could have said "Floppy banana" and still gotten the same response; a nod and a sunny smile, showing plenty of white teeth. White teeth that only worsened his headache.
He cursed whatever circumstance that had ever gotten them into this scenario, feather or not. He hated losing to a weasel, even if the weasel was a wizard who had quite suddenly acquired a feather, and had managed to summon a dragon four times the size of any in Nihon.
Kurogane and Syaoran had tried to fight the thing, and had almost won too, but the old badger had decided to be an ass that day, and had promptly summoned five more. It had effectively outnumbered them, six to two. They had nearly lost, but Mokona was not completely worthless, and had sucked them into a tunnel, just as one dragon tried to turn Syaoran into a little courageous pancake.
But we all know how bad Kurogane's luck was.
The dragon had smashed headlong into the cliff the cave was in, and the walls had crumbled, leaving Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona in one tunnel, with Kurogane and Fai in another.
And thus the nightmare had begun.
"Kuro-pon HAIGH Nasa hilternez queckleshnet ashmequah!"
He was already seeing monkeys.
It was night by now, which meant they'd been in the tunnels for at least seven hours. He could tell it was night because it had grown considerably colder, and Fai had begun walking into walls.
The fourth time Fai smacked face-first into a stalag-thingy his tongue had gotten stuck to it, so Kurogane had decided it was time to stop and make a camp. Or at least something resembling a camp.
Fai shook off his over coat and set it on the hard ground, sitting on it and preparing to use it as a blanket.
He had another coat on under the first one, and he'd lived in a winter country his whole life, so he was not cold, but Kurogane was not so lucky. He did not have any coats, and he was cold. But he was not a wimp, and he had been in tougher situations, so he sat down and prepared for sleep, running a hand through his black spiky hair.
Alas, slumber would not come easily that night.
"Kuro-kasha, nazden galanbo nelekatanere shexakata!" a little blond something exclaimed happily, invading the ninja's space by snuggling up to his chest. Kurogane growled a warning, which was ignored. He could have pushed the idiot away, but despite his pride Fai was warm, and showed no signs of wanting to let go, so he grumbled and decided to let it go this once.
He had nearly drifted off to sleep, despite Fai's unconscious tries to keep him from doing so by jabbing his elbows into as many tender places as they could find, when he felt the mage raise his head to look at him. He was about to go to sleep anyway, thinking he was just restless, when he was poked gently in the cheek.
"What?" He grunted sourly, not happy about the universal plot to keep him from peace and quiet.
"Kuro-tan your side is bleeding." came the reply in what sounded like flawless Japanese, which meant that the meat bun had wandered close by. He would have commented on that, but what Fai said made him pause.
"What?" he repeated, sitting up. Fai didn't answer except to reach forward and start undoing the laces on the shirt he'd gotten from their current country. Kurogane jumped and made a sound that sounded suspiciously like "meep!" Though if anyone thought so they would immediately have their nose ripped off and reattached to their ass. Fai ignored the sound and continued to deshirt Kurogane, revealing a large gash just above his hip which he had not really noticed.
"You're bleeding." Fai said again, giving the tall man an accusing look. Kurogane just shrugged, relieved the blond had not attempted to molest him. Yet.
"It's just a scratch, I must have got it when I pushed the brat out of the way of one of those oversized lizards." He scowled at Fai's unwavering gaze "Would you prefer I let the kid end his life by filling a crack in the road? He's strong, but not that strong."
Fai shook his head and sat back, rifling through the many pockets on the inside of his large coat/blanket and pulling out some bandages and disinfectant. Kurogane growled.
"No way, I'm just fine so I don't need you putting any of that horrible smelling stuff into or on me." He protested as the usual smiled slithered it's way onto the magician's face.
"Awh but Kuro-banana, it only stings a little bit, and if you don't treat your 'scratch' you might get blood poisoning!" He personally thought it looked like more than a scratch, if it wasn't for the ninja's dark choice of clothing he would have noticed it sooner. It was nearly the length from the tip of one of Mokona's ears to the other when they were stretched out. That was about a foot, give or take, and it looked horrible. Though Kurogane didn't look like he was in pain, not the bodily kind anyway.
After a few minutes of squirming away, cursing, scratching, smacking, cooing, smiling, nagging, growling, nyaa-ing, being firm, and being stubborn, Fai managed to pin the escaping warrior into a corner, pouncing on him and laughing in victory. He then commenced with his first aid administrations, and eventually had Kurogane's side patched prettily with some nice white bandages. He felt very Happy with his work.
Kurogane just sulked, his shirt back on and his scowl set firmly into place.
Finally, he thought, I can get some sleep and we can find the kid tomorrow! And he sat back to he previous spot, sighing unhappily when Fai also resumed his comfortable position against Kurogane's chest. But really, if he got any sleep in this fic, do you think I would be able to go to bed, knowing I gave him a happy ending?
Think again.
His eyes flashed open and he yelled in shock as something small and hairy latched onto his head and bit his ear, causing him to jump to his feet and grab at it, sending Fai halfway across the room in his haste. The blond blinked when he landed on his ass, confused at first, then he saw Kurogane roaring obscenities and trying to tear an angry monkey off of his ear.
He blinked once more then burst into wild gales of laughter, rolling onto his back and pounding his heels against the floor as the poor ninja nearly ripped his ear off trying to get the rabid animal away from him.
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! Ginta! Off, now!" The monkey looked up from his current amusement as a voice drifted to them from the dark tunnels, followed by the girl who owned it. She was short and thin, and her eyes were big and watery, but she looked angrily at the monkey, who lowered it's head and jumped down from Kurogane.
Kurogane's ear may have been saved by the girl, but she apparently owned it, so he leveled his crimson glare at her, ignoring the wizard on the ground, who was laughing so hard he was snorting.
"What the hell is that thing! And who are you? And what are you doing down here?" he snarled at her. She bowed several times at him, whimpering apologies with every one and then looking up at him with her sad brown eyes.
"I'm so sorry, but your friends were looking for you, and Ginta can find anyone in these tunnels!" she squeaked, and that put a wall in front of Kurogane's head of steam. Right on cue, the boy Syaoran and Princess Sakura ran in right behind the girl, coming to a stop in front of him.
Sakura opened her mouth to say some thing, then gasped in horror, small dainty hands coming up to cover her mouth as Syaoran exclaimed "Kurogane-san! What happened to the side of your face?" This made Kurogane scowl, knowing full well he had blood from his ear running down his cheek.
"I'm sorry! I'm sooo soorryyy!"
Fai was going to die from lack of air if he kept guffawing like that.
Haha, this turned out different than I thought it would, but I like it.
I especially like the title.
Haha, get it? Frost"bite"! Get it? Hehehe...
