Before I even start to write this story, there is one thing you all must know. I write these stories for your guys entertainment, I'm the person that writes the things you read when your bored. And as that person, I would never aim to offend or hurt you guys, because I love you all so much, and doing something that would upset you is like a nightmare to me.
My Gran died of cancer 2 years ago, so I do know what its like to loose someone because of it. However, I do not know what it is like to actually suffer from cancer, and it is something I would never wish upon my worst enemy.
But since reading The Fault In Our Stars, and a few imagines over tumblr, I finally gained the confidence I have been trying to gain to write and publish his story.
So I hope you enjoy this story, and I sympathise with anyone who lost someone through cancer. Thank you all, I hope you enjoy…
If there's one thing they never warn you about, its how hard you can fall in love… and cancer, but you can never be warned about cancer, because it can hit you harder than love can.
Hitting As Hard As Love
Chapter One
Week 1
"Ally, can you please remember to close the cupboard doors please? I almost bashed my head!" my dad shouts up to me as I stand in my room, looking in my mirror.
"Yeah, sorry dad!" I shout back, wondering when I actually went to the kitchen… I don't remember going to the kitchen.
Week 2
1am
Waking up in the middle of the night, I felt an immense terror. Where was my dad? Where was he? Was he in the house? I don't remember where he is!
I burst out in tears from the fear of my missing dad. Something in the back of my brain tried to tell me he was in his own room, but it wasn't reaching me. Soon my sobs turned into screams as I panicked more and more.
"Ally, Ally sweetie, what's wrong?" my dad says rushing into the room, making me relieved that he was still here, but still the tears kept coming.
"I… I didn't know where you were?" I sobbed into his t-shirt as he held me close in his arms.
"I was in my room you nut" he says with a smile, stroking my hair gently as he calmed me down. "Its ok sweetie, just go back to sleep" he said kissing my forehead as I fell back onto my pillow and back to sleep.
Week 3
Things became more and more lost the more I looked for them.
"Dad, I've lost my… my… my" I said, trying to think about what I had been looking for the past few hours, but I couldn't remember anymore. I knew it was important… what was it?
"Ally, you've been very forgetful lately, are you ok?" my dad asked, concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I guess it wasn't that important" I say, suddenly feeling happy as I skipped off up the stairs.
Still Week 3
Things started to feel less like reality for me the more reality took over for my dad.
Walking down the stairs I started to feel dizzy, falling back on the stairs I held my head in my hands. My dad came rushing to me when he heard me fall. holding my shoulders, trying to help me catch my breath.
"Ally, what's wrong?" he asks, panic in his voice, as scared as I was.
"I feel like gravity doesn't exist anymore" I say, trying to tell him that I felt like I could float away any second.
As soon as I could stand up again and gravity had caught me back, he helped me down the rest of the stairs to the sofas, where he immediately called the doctors, arranging an appointment for me as soon as possible, which happened to be the next day.
We saw the doctor and he said there was nothing to worry about. Simple prescription pills, and I'd be back to myself in no time…
Week 5
After a week on the prescription pills hadn't made a difference, if anything, it was getting worse.
Getting ready for school one day, I picked out my favourite band t-shirt and held it up to look at it. Suddenly my mind blanked out. What was I supposed to do with this top? How was I supposed to put this on?
Bursting out into tears for probably the 4th time in a week, I collapsed onto the bed, hugging the top closely to my chest, I couldn't figure out what to do with it, but hugging it was giving me a sort of comfort.
My dad rushed into my room, it was probably awkward for him to see his daughter crying, wearing jeans and a bra, but I was so concentrated on crying I didn't seem to notice.
"Ally, what's wrong sweetie?" he asks again. He's asked me this question so many times over the past few weeks it had started to mean less and less. I tried to explain to him my problem, but he couldn't understand a word I was saying through my sobs. I tried desperately to make him understand, but it wasn't working.
When I finally clamed down a bit, he helped me slide the top over my head and pull my arms through the sleeves, but I still felt like a helpless 5 year old.
He helped my down the stairs since he felt like I might fall down them and sat me on the couch. Explaining how he wanted me to stay off school for a few days since he was so concerned about me, I lied back on the sofa as I tried to gain back my senses. I hated missing school, but lately I had been having trouble remembering how to answer math questions, sometimes mixing up which number was which, which only put me in more embarrassment.
"I'm… I'm sorry about earlier" I said to my dad as I got up from the couch where I had taken a nap for a few hours.
"Its ok darling" my dad said coming over to me and wrapping his arms around me in a hug.
"I…I just… couldn't…remember how… I didn't know… how to put my shirt on" I stutter through the sentence, trying to make the sentence seem right in my head, but it didn't work properly. Everything seemed to jumble up.
"Its fine sweetie. I've made an appointment with the doctors again, just to make sure everything is ok"
Week 5
When we finally reached the doctors my dad had to explain everything that was going on, since my words seemed to be in a mix at the time. It would change in seconds, one second I could speak fine, the next everything was mixed up.
The doctor wanted me to have a brain scan, just to check that everything was ok. I lied back on the small blue plastic bed, which was even more uncomfortable than the chairs at school, as the scanned the inside of my head on the screen.
I had to wait outside while the doctor talked to my dad, I nervously tapped my feet on the ground as I stared at the clock, its ticking getting more annoying every second.
"Hey" says a voice, I look up to see a blonde haired boy looking at me with a smile on his face. He looked really familiar. "Is this seat taken?"
"N…No" I stuttered, not because my words were mixed up, but because I was kind of speechless on how hot he was.
"I'm Austin, Austin Moon, I've seen you around school before" he says smiling at me, wow he had a cute smile.
"Yeah, I'm A…"
"Your Ally Dawson, I know, my friend Dez is dating your friend Trish"
"Oh yeah." I say, trying to gain composure. "So what are you doing here?"
"My mom had some appointment for something, I only came along cause she's dropping me off at work afterwards. You?"
"Me what?" I say, suddenly forgetting the conversation. My mind searched frantically for what we were talking about. I tried my best not to get panicked in front of him.
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, um, its… its complicated" I say, not wanting to say there was something wrong with me in case it freaked him out.
"Your beautiful" he says abruptly. Making me speechless.
"Wh…What?"
"Your really beautiful. I told myself to be honest to people, so I'm being honest to you. You are really beautiful"
"Thank you… your not to bad yourself" I joke, giving him a smile.
"Hey, do you maybe, wanna go out…" he is interrupted by the door to the doctors door opening.
"Miss Dawson, we're ready to speak to you know" says the doctor. I give Austin a smile before walking into the office.
This would be the worst day of my life, but also one of the best.
So, um, yeah. I don't know how you guys are going to react to this, hopefully it will have a good response. But if not, I am willing to take it down, because I don't want to keep something on my page that will offend or hurt you guys as I explained in the beginning.
Thank you so much for reading.
NotALoveSong88 xx
