It happened over breakfast. They'd been living together for three months, one of which Bucky had spent recovering his memories (and reliving the ones about their relationship before the war). What took the most getting used to was the fact that they no longer had to hide the nature of their relationship. It was the best kind of culture shock for him to discover that in this day and age, two men getting married was becoming more and more common. He finally decided that since this was their second chance at life together, they shouldn't waste it.
He waited until Steve had his back turned, frying bacon and probably not thinking about marriage. Then he got down on one knee and waited until his hands had stopped shaking.
"Hey Steve, if I asked you to marry me, could I say 'I'm with you 'til the end of the aisle'?"
It took Steve five minutes to stop laughing and then ten more to stop kissing Bucky long enough to say yes.
The wedding was, as Steve later put it, indescribable. Not because it was a particularly huge affair (since neither of them had any family), although the avengers insisted on being there. At first he idea was to simply have Sam and Nat to witness, go to city hall, tie the knot and then (according to Bucky) stay in bed for a whole two weeks- no interruptions (he was thoroughly enjoying the whole increased stamina thing, despite it being a reminder of what he went through for the better part of the twentieth century).
They weren't even going to tell anybody else about the wedding at all, but then Nat 'accidentally' let it slip in a text to Coulson, who got his phone stolen by Tony, who told everyone else and then called Steve to ask if one: they had picked a date yet, and two: if Steve had a best man. When he found out that the answer was yes, he went into wedding planner mode, offering (read insisting) to have the wedding at the Avengers tower, with fireworks and a Fourth of July theme. Fortunately Nat had Pepper on speed dial, so that problem got solved really quickly. It did however get Steve questioning their original plan.
"What about Saint Michael's?" Steve asked one morning while Bucky was in the shower.
"I dunno, what about it?" Bucky called back.
"I'm pretty sure it's still standing." Steve answered. "We could have the wedding there." Saint Michael's was their neighbourhood church, where they used to go for holiday mass when they were kids- it would be nice to get married somewhere that actually meant something to them. However, Saint Michael's was an old building back then, and that was seventy years ago.
"Sure, sure, because the Catholics will be so keen to have a couple of the gays get married in their church." Bucky drawled over the sound of running water. When Steve didn't reply, he poked his head out with a mischievous look and said,
"You should totally look into it."
He did. And as it turned out, Saint Michael's had become a shelter for local youth who'd been displaced from their homes due to abuse- a lot of which was accounted for by their non-heterosexuality. So when Steve Rogers asked them if he could have his wedding there, they were more than thrilled- as long as they got to see it. Bucky cheered and went on his "fight the man" speech about the evils of homophobia and the importance of queer pride. Steve listened intently (for the umpteenth time) and pretended he didn't think his fiancé's impassioned stance on equal rights was such a turn-on. He failed.
Before they knew it, it was one more day until the wedding. Steve had expected to get nervous. As in, when he was fifteen and imagined himself getting married (if he ever really imagined it at all as a thing that would actually happen), he always thought he'd be a nervous wreck, unsure if he was making the right decision, if he was going to be able to go through with something as huge as marrying a person he couldn't even be sure he completely knew. But that was right before he realised he was in love with his best friend. After that, in their day and age, he just stopped imagining getting married altogether. So a day before his wedding, he woke up knowing what he'd known for a long time- he would just be with Bucky for the rest of his life. And he was okay with that.
Bucky had expected not to get nervous at all. He was the one who never really thought he needed anyone but Steve- and he always knew Steve would need him just as much- so it never even occurred to him to be afraid of commitment- as long as it was to his best friend. So when he started getting inexplicably scared the day before he was supposed to get married, he tried extra hard not to let it show. It wasn't until noon, when they were in the church looking things over- that he realised he wasn't scared of marriage- of promising 'forever' (he'd done that a thousand times already)- he was afraid of anything that would get in the way of it. He looked at the giant stained-glass window above one side of the altar and imagined a hail of bullets flying through it, through Steve's back and into his own chest, effectively proving the 'till death do us part' rule. He thought about Hydra, but more so about some unnameable entity that might take away their second chance. Steve caught him frowning and said nothing, but fixed him with a silent "what's wrong?"
"I'm just worried that this isn't gonna last," he whispered, "it's like nothing ever lasts."
"We lasted." Steve murmured in his ear, wrapping his arms around Bucky and pulling him so close that their heartbeats seemed to join. "We lasted through a lot more than anything anyone can throw at us now."
Bucky kissed him then, long and deep and completely ignorant of the fact that there was a small crowd of people in the room with them.
"Save it for tomorrow." Sam called jokingly from across the sanctuary. "Old people PDA is gross enough at weddings, at least give us twenty-four hours to prepare ourselves."
Bucky laughed and kissed Steve harder.
Bucky didn't have a single nightmare that night, despite sleeping in a bed by himself for the first time since he got his memory back. It could have been the knowledge that Steve was right down the hall (they were staying at the Avengers tower, or as Tony had jokingly dubbed it, "Cap wedding central"), but he liked to think that it was the fact that he had finally reached the point where he could be tired enough to just sleep- or rather tired in the right way, like the kind of tired you are after a long walk or a good meal or a long conversation with someone you love. So when he was awoken by a loud pounding on his door and Nat shouting "Wake up or you'll be late!" in Russian, it took him a second to realise that he'd overslept.
Nat spent less time on making him look presentable and more time on herself.
"Men have it easy at weddings- they put on a suit, they brush their hair, bingo, they're done. We have to wear certain colours. And pick shoes of a certain other colour. And then make sure we don't overdo the hair and make-up. The only thing you have to worry about is if your tie is on straight." She gestures to the dark red tie hanging over the back of a chair. They didn't really choose wedding colours, per se, but they were both gonna be in black; Bucky was wearing a red tie, and Steve was wearing blue. In the end Nat picked a dark grey dress that was slightly shiny and shoes the colour of cherries. She made a joke about straightening Bucky's hair, but in the end he just put it in a ponytail like he always did. Almost everyone had suggested that he get it cut for the wedding- he'd thought about it enough times- but he knew that Steve really liked it long (for various reasons), and so for lack of better wording, it was starting to grow on him. Besides, he had a whole life ahead of him- his hairstyle seemed pretty insignificant on a day like this.
Steve woke up early, of course, like he always had- that morning though, he had a buzz in his fingertips that reminded him of being a kid on Christmas morning. He got up and took a shower and had breakfast, all before Sam, the actual best man and newly ordained officiant, was even able to roll out of bed. When he did, Steve was already getting dressed, and then itching to get to the church. It was nine A.M. when they finally did, and the ceremony still wasn't for another three hours. They sat (Sam laid) in the front pews, and Steve gave him the reader's digest version of the Steve and Bucky love story.
"Do you realise how lucky you are?" Sam asked when the story ended.
"I don't believe in luck." Steve told him.
"Alright, what do you believe in?" Sam asked, but then suddenly sat up and blurted, "You know what, I don't want you to answer that. I'm at least ninety-nine percent sure you're gonna say 'Bucky Barnes' which is cheesy as hell- and this whole thing is already cheesy as hell. So, no. Don't tell me. Forget I even asked."
"Would it be any less cheesy if I said, 'freedom and true love'?" Steve grinned as Sam rolled his eyes and laid back down. "Don't answer that."
Bucky hated the idea of being 'the bride'- or the one who got to the wedding last and then had to walk down the aisle alone. So when he found out that Steve had been at the church for three hours already, he nearly threatened to be extra late, on purpose- until he realised how counter-intuitive that would be, at which point he told the chauffeur to break as many traffic laws as he needed to get there on time. When they pulled up to the church, Nat had to hold him by the shoulders until he would stand still enough for her to tie his tie. When she was done, he felt like his feet had been paved right into the sidewalk.
"Go- he's waiting for you." Nat shoved him gently, pulling the door open and walking in ahead of him. Bucky watched her go up the stairs and into the chapel, down the aisle and to her place at the front of the room. He felt curiously alone as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.
"You ready?" A soft voice came from his left, and he turned to see Steve, looking at him with his biggest smile and unadulterated adoration; he felt his breath get stuck in his throat, his heart skip a beat in his chest, and his voice begin to fail him. This was one of those looks that people missed- the kind of look that only ever gets looked at someone when that someone isn't looking back. Except for Bucky was looking back, and he was sure that he was looking at Steve the same way.
"As I'll ever be." He managed to say as Steve took his hand. "You clean up good, Rogers."
"You don't look so bad yourself, Barnes." Steve whispered.
"Isn't one of us supposed to wait at the other end of the aisle?" Bucky joked as they started up to the chapel.
"Couldn't let you have all the attention." Steve shrugged. "Besides, we've both waited long enough. Today we're going together."
They entered the room as music started playing, and Bucky breathed a sigh of relief to see that the stained-glass windows were still intact- there was no hail of bullets, no scent of gunpowder- only the comforting and familiar smell of dust that floated on the sunlight streaming through the painted glass. The room was small, and he was grateful for the short walk past the smiling faces of friends and kind strangers. When they got to the altar, he breathed easy. They were there. They made it.
"Friends, loved ones," Sam began, "we are gathered here today to witness the union of two lives- two lives that have been tested, and tried, welded together and pulled apart and have always come back to each other. This is the celebration and affirmation of a relationship that has survived war, torture, and the better part of a century. Mostly because of cryogenics, but you get my meaning. You could even go so far as to say that they've survived death itself. But today isn't about that. Today is about seconds chances. It's about two people who have chosen to commit themselves to each other for the rest of their lives, through anything else that might come their way."
"Steve Rogers, do you take James Buchanan Barnes to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to honour and to cherish, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, until death do you part?"
Steve grinned, eyes never leaving Bucky's.
"I do."
"And do you, James Buchanan Barnes, take Steve Rogers to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to honour and to cherish, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, until death do you part?"
"I do," Bucky laughed, "until the end of the line."
Sam reached in his pocket and took out the rings.
"Bucky, I now ask you to place this ring on Steve's finger, and repeat after me; take this ring as a token of my unending love,"
"Take this ring as a token of my unending love,"
"And my promise to be faithful to you for the rest of my life." Sam finished
"And my promise to be faithful to you for the rest of my life." Bucky echoed, sliding the gold band easily onto Steve's finger.
"Steve, I now ask you to place this ring on Bucky's finger, and repeat after me; take this ring as a token of my unending love,"
"Take this ring as a token of my unending love,"
"And my promise to be faithful to you for the rest of my life."
"And my promise to be faithful to you for the rest of my life."
Steve took Bucky's metal hand in his, and pushed the ring into place, remembering how just a few weeks ago, none of the rings he'd tried would stay on. But thanks to Bruce and science, a ring had been made that would naturally magnetise to Bucky's hand; meaning that once it was on, it would be very difficult to get off. When Steve looked up, he saw a tear escape the corner of Bucky's eye, and he reached up to wipe it away.
"I don't belong to them anymore." Bucky breathed. After that, Steve had to blink back the tears to see him clearly.
"By the power vested in me by the state of New York, and in the presence of these witnesses, I hereby declare you hitched." Sam smiled when they two of them didn't move, lost in each other's eyes. "Come on Steve, just kiss the man already."
Steve did, and it was like their first kiss all over again- the slate had been wiped clean, and there was only the two of them, lost to the cheers of everyone in the room- he and Bucky standing at the beginning of a long road, hand in hand, for the rest of forever. And he wouldn't have it any other way.
