Inanimiteorphs 1- The Power to Morph

Authors note: Hi. I've updated this by breaking up the paragraphs now. I hope it's easier to read. Also, I added a few things. They're kinda funny. Also, I made a little Handylite picture and uploaded it to my webste. To see it, go to http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Aurora/8035/handylite.jpg. It's dumb, just like this story. I'd also like to comment that its kinda funny how some people HATE this story, and some people think it's really funny. Whatever you want to think is fine. I made this story just for fun. I don't want you to feel offended by it. I'm a fan of Animorphs too. -ratman 8.26.99

My name is Blake. Obviously, that's just my first name. I can't tell you my last name. Otherwise the Handylites might get us.

What's a Handy-Lite? you may ask.

Well, they're these evil, disgusting, creatures that fight the nice guys called the Jeerks. I mean, theres nothing wrong with Jeerks! They're just misunderstood! Let me tell you the story....

It all started out at the mall. Me and Narco, my cop-likeing best friend, were at a arcade. For some reason, the managers had let my dog in, so he was sitting there, soiling up the floor, and making descions about wether or not Narco would be able to beat a level.

"It seems we're all out of quarters," Narco said to me. "Looks like we'll have to go home!"

I agreed with him. "Maybe we'll run into some cops," I said dryly.

His face brightened. Apparently, he didn't recognize that I was being sarcastic.

So we went out of the arcade, and incedently, a kid from school named Tonias showed up.

Narco cowered behind me. "Please don't hurt us, Tonias," he said. "I've got the olice on my speed dial!"

Tonias sneered, and said, "Well, I was just here to see if there was anything to beat up. But I don't associate with narcs."

Narco looked insulted. "My name is Narco, not Narcs," he said prissily.

Just then my cousin, Machel, and her friend Massie, came in. Machel was a aristocratic clueless girl that was pretty ugly. She liked to think that she was pretty, but she really wasn't.

Massie was Massive. She was this huge, fat, flat, black chick that was totaly casual. It looked like she had just come from a Redneck Farmer convention.

"Hi, guys," Machel. "Even though we just got here, we're gonna randomly leave now for no apparent reason. Would you big, strong men escourt us through the construction yard?"

Tonias couldn't resist Machel's charm. But I knew things with those two would never work out. Machel had gotten pretty tired of me quick, so why would she stay with him?

"We don't need those dorks," Massie said. "My blubber would scare any robbers away."

But none the less, we got stuck walking through the construction yard. As we were walking, we heard a big rock fall from the sky. It had hit Tonias on the head, so he was pretty shaken up. Then we heard somthing weird in out heads.

[Help me,] a voice from nowhere said.

"What was that?" I asked no one in peticular.

[Me, down here, stupid,] somthing said. [The rock.]

"Ahhh," Tonias said. "Let's kill it."

"Oh," Rachel said, "It might hurt you, Tonias!"

"I can sit on it, then it couldn't breath," sugjested Massie.

[No!] the rock screamed. [How could a rock breath, anyway? But listen to me. Aliens are coming to earth.]

"Aliens?" Tonias asked. "Can we kill them?"

"Listen to the man," I snapped. "Uh, I mean rock."

Then the rock started changing. It seemed to "morph" from a round rock to a large horselike thing.

"Yeah," exclaimed Tonias, "another thing to kill!"

[There are other aliens coming. The Jeerks have come to dystroy you. You must fight them. But to do this, I will have to give you a power. The power to morph!]

"Cool!" I exclaimed. "We can morph into Animals, and stuff?"

[No,] the horse said, [only Andilites can do that. We are the Handy-Lites.] To show why he got his name, his eyes lit up like a flash light. [I can give you the power to morph into Inanimite Objects. Now gather around, everyone.]

Narco sighed. "Will this take long?" he asked. "My dad said I had to be home by six, so I can be asleep by my six-fifteen bedtime."

"Wuss," Tonias said as he bonked Narco on the head.

"Beating people up is sooo sexy," Machel said to Tonias.

We all gathered around the horse. Then we all grabbed his head, as he instructed us. In ten seconds, we were done

[The Jeerks are coming!] he then exclaimed. [Hurry! Get away!]

We started running, and two ships landed. Out pored Nork-Najir, these animals with wooden blades all over them. Then another horse, alot like the first one, came out.

[Kisser Three!] the first horse exclaimed.

[Hahaha. I have finaly caught the great Bellfangor. Now I shall have to kill you. But first, the thing all we Kissers do best.] Kisser Three bent down and had a long, passonite kiss with Bellfangor. Then he said, [Time to die!] "Well, that's the kiss of death," I joked.

"Shut up before I kill you," Tonias commanded.

Now the Kisser started changing. He was getting bigger, growing into a large boulder. [

Noooo!] Bellfangor exclaimed.

But by this time, Kisser Three had finished morphing. [Gaurds!] he said, [push me!]

Bellfangor just stood there, yelling [Nooo!] until the Kisser had crushed him.

"Noooo!" Massie yelled. That alerted the Kisser.

[After them,] he said.

Well, we just started bookin'. But then I realized we had the power to morph. I started to morph into a brick wall. Then several Nork-Najir slammed into me, slapping them silly

Narco got the idea, and morphed into a car. He started running into the Norks and running them over.

Massie was good in her normal body, so she just started crushing Norks with her blubber.

Machel morphed into a gun, and Tonias started firing her at the closest aliens.

"Kill 'em all!" he yelled.

Well, the battle went pretty well until Narco realized it was past his bed time. He immedietly went to sleep, still in his car morph.

Machel was running out of bullets. So she demorphed, then morphed a sword, and Tonias slashed at the Norks only to find Machel snapping in half. She then demorphed into two different Machels.

"I'm the evil Machel!" one said.

"I'm the nice won. Evil Machel, do you want to go shoping?"

"Shut up, Bitch!" Evil Machel screamed. Then she started slaping Nice Machel around.

Massie was getting so much exersise that she was losing weight. So she decided that she had to go home to eat more "Weight Gain 400000".

I noticed that my vice-principle was there, and I didn't want a detention, so I was gone.

I didn't sleep well that night. But the next day at school, Flapman called me and the others into his office. "It is under my impresion," he said calmly, "that you were fighting aliens last night."

"Uh, yes sir," I said.

"Well, would you like to join our side? We'll win the war against the Handy-Lites."

We voted and were unanimous. What bad things could come from working for the Jeerks?

[Author's note: Blake and the others were infested by the Jeerks, and eventully won the war against the evil Handy-Lites. Then Evil Machel 'disposed' of Nice Machel]