Torture
(Loud buzzer and the sound of a swinging door)
(Gruff voice)
Subject 7 interrogation 14
Begin
….
Haha
…..
Hahahaha
Hahaha
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
….
Haha
….
Hahaha
You didn't listen did you? Unwilling to hear the truth you block out
You had to take upon yourself to finally carry it out, a harbinger of your own thoughts
Had to go with your gut even though it's been wrong so many times
Listen to the age old rules of life when you know they are stupid and outdated
You know their wrong but still you followed blindly
AARRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You're too goddam stupid to see it
They don't fucking work!
Those methods were made for your life
Yes; they worked then for just about everyone
But guess what you old coot I'm not you and you're not me
You don't see the world through my bleeding eyes
You only see your own old world
Wake up
Wake the fuck up form your dream and see the world we're in now
You shouldn't care what other people think?
What the hell do you think our fucked up planet society revolves around?
….
It's so cruel
It's so mean
So mean to me
So mean to us
….
ARRRRGGGHHHHHH
(Heavy breathing)
AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
…
…
(Chocked sob)
Why?
Why are you leaving me?
What did I do?
I held on until my hands started to bleed but you still didn't care
I kept holding my breath until I was chocking up on the inside
I cried and wept at your feet but you brushed me aside
Why?!
(More chocked sobs)
…
ARRRGGGGHHHHH
No choice
Mother…Mother!
She was…was…..n-nice to me
Never…. paid her back
Smiling
Never mean
B-but I was young and in-inexperienced
I don't know…..don't know
What to do
What to-
ARGGGGGHHHHHH
….
Haha
Ahaha
I can't count the amount of times I've begged for death
An uncounted list losing itself in my mind
Haha
Oh but not you
Your fine
Do you know why?
Hmmm?
Because you haven't
You can get through the days and look at the sunset with joy
You can see the light at the end of the tunnel while the rest of us run into the walls
You don't have a gun pointed at your chest every time you walk into a room
And you are arrogant when it comes to the darkness of this world, blind to all its cruelty and oblivious to us who suffer from it in silence behind closed doors and closed faces
I…..
I…
ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
No! Not….Again!
WHAT DID I DO?!
(Heavy breathing)
HUH?!
HUH?!
ARRRRGGGHHHHH
….
(Crying)
Her voice….her voice
T-tha-that smile!
…..
No! ….NO!
No no no no no no no
ARRRGGGGHH
(Crying)
ARRRGGGGHHHH
Please
Make it stop
Make it stop!
The numbers flashing in my mind, the words screaming in my throat and the images of the past flashing in my eyes
The same messages
The same concept
The same goddam thoughts
Pressing, breaking, shattering and rebuilding themselves all over again
Pushing you so far
So far away
Just let me forget
Let me lose all sense of who I once was and die empty
(Crying)
ARRRRGGGGHHHHH
…..
Don't let me go
(Chocked sobs)
Don't let me wander this endless plain alone forever marked by my failures
Don't let me forever dwell in the dark as it drips into my soul and heart staining me
Don't let me add more regrets to the list I'm already crying over
Don't let me hurt anymore for I only wish to be hurt myself so you won't be
Don't let me cry for this world makes me view it as weakness
Don't let me become a murder holding this gun to both our heads
Don't let me become another number in this society's stupid system for them to check off and forget bloody in a ditch
Don't let me look into their eyes again and know I'm taking their happiness away or see their sadness and pain but do nothing but watch like a still quiet manqué with my still Styrofoam heart
Don't let me
…..
AARRRGGHHHHH
The urges!
The goddam fucking urges!
To help
To Love
To lust
To cry
And to kill
I've killed so many
So many dead dull eyes
So many still and broken hearts
So many salty tears
I see it all
Through my eyes wet with tears and blood
I caused it
I flipped the switch and ordered the execution
I did it
Blame me
BLAME ME!
Shackles me down forever in this cage of regret
Scream and curse my name to the heavens with your fading breath
Drive the stakes through me ending the demon I am
Let the blood trickle and the debt be paid with my tainted blood on the floor
…
Let me die
Let me pass
Let me go from this world so full of hate I help cause
….
….
Hahaha
But you won't will you?
Hahaha
I need to be strapped here and punished hmmm?
I've been a very bad boy hmmm?
Hahaha
…
ARGGGGGHHHHHH
(Quick breaths)
But…but it wasn't my fault n-no it couldn't have been
I may have pulled the trigger y-yes I did but I-I was ordered to I couldn't disobey
Could I?
ARGGGGGHHHHHHHH
…..
(Heavy breathing)
ARRRGGGGHHHHH
Hahaha
You should have seen it
They tried to stop me
Hahaha
Oh there was so much red
And it didn't match my outfit at all!
Hahaha
ARRRGGHHHHHHH
…
(Crying)
I-I'm a monster
The s-sins I've committed
H-How co…
…..
(Crying)
No…
No…..
No No No
please
PLEASE!
ARRGGGGGHHHHH
…..
….
…..
No….
No…
NO!
Who did this huh?!
Was it me?!
Did I push myself to this?!
Or was it you're fucked up society?!
How it takes hammer blows to our minds on how we think and feel?!
So many…..
So many more people feel like to live at peace with themselves they have to be perfect in everyone's eyes
You have to be fucking perfect
ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!
(Screaming)
NEWS FLASH YOU FUCKING UNACCEPTING WOLRD!
NO ONES PERFECT!
WE ALL HAVE FLAWS, DINTS, CRACKS AND FUCKING HOLES
…
And I'm no different
I'm flawed; broken; scarred….
I've been pushed down, gotten back up just to pushed down again and do it all again in the endless cycle of my weakness
I've regretted so many things I've done and yet I am so young
I am like so many others
Lost in their own life not knowing where to go next or which path is right
Wondering if I should leave or simply die now
…
But we can't can we?
There are some people who still care for us right?
Who cares they don't matter
But they'll be sad
We're sad and they don't give a shit so why should we?
Yes they do
No they don't and you know it, you can see it in their eyes and in their face
They don't give two flying fucks about what happens to you as long as they don't get involved and or blamed
Haha who them or us?
Last time I checked we were a pussy who couldn't stand up for himself
Haha we're too weak for this world
Too weak for anyone
We have to be strong
But we failed that long ago
It was our fault
So young
So stupid
Haha
….
Kill me
…..
KILLL MEEEE!
…..
This world is become so big I can barely handle it anymore
So many rules, guidelines, movements, channels, lines, wires, methods, techniques, traditions, standards and so many goddam more
I not strong enough in their eyes and in my own
I'm not smart enough to successes in the game we call life
I'm sorry to tell you there's not much left in this world keeping me form pulling the trigger and ending it all
For if it were all to go
Fade in the wind
All that matters to me
When I hold that gun to my head and my life flashes before my eyes
My hands wouldn't be shaking
Because to take away my friends; to take away my family and all I hold so dear would leave me empty inside
I would no longer wish to live
I'd stick a knife in my own cold dead beating heart, jump off a never ending skyscraper and end up another fly splatter on someone's windscreen and I would put a gun in my mouth to fire off the bullet to the heavens to let them know I'm done.
…
I don't want to talk anymore
Why speak when no one listens?
Why tell you my doubts and fears when you don't care?
Why cry when there's no fucking point?
I gave you my opinion
Gave you my thoughts, fears and time
….
I don't want to talk anymore if you're always going to think the same about little old pathetic me
I simply can't take it anymore
This torture isn't going to make me talk
It's going to make me forget who I once was
For I no longer wish to know myself anymore
…..
So stand there and stab your little toys into mw to make me squirm
I was doing it long before you armatures
Itssoooofluffy
