Torture

(Loud buzzer and the sound of a swinging door)

(Gruff voice)

Subject 7 interrogation 14

Begin

….

Haha

…..

Hahahaha

Hahaha

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

….

Haha

….

Hahaha

You didn't listen did you? Unwilling to hear the truth you block out

You had to take upon yourself to finally carry it out, a harbinger of your own thoughts

Had to go with your gut even though it's been wrong so many times

Listen to the age old rules of life when you know they are stupid and outdated

You know their wrong but still you followed blindly

AARRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You're too goddam stupid to see it

They don't fucking work!

Those methods were made for your life

Yes; they worked then for just about everyone

But guess what you old coot I'm not you and you're not me

You don't see the world through my bleeding eyes

You only see your own old world

Wake up

Wake the fuck up form your dream and see the world we're in now

You shouldn't care what other people think?

What the hell do you think our fucked up planet society revolves around?

….

It's so cruel

It's so mean

So mean to me

So mean to us

….

ARRRRGGGHHHHHH

(Heavy breathing)

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH

(Chocked sob)

Why?

Why are you leaving me?

What did I do?

I held on until my hands started to bleed but you still didn't care

I kept holding my breath until I was chocking up on the inside

I cried and wept at your feet but you brushed me aside

Why?!

(More chocked sobs)

ARRRGGGGHHHHH

No choice

Mother…Mother!

She was…was…..n-nice to me

Never…. paid her back

Smiling

Never mean

B-but I was young and in-inexperienced

I don't know…..don't know

What to do

What to-

ARGGGGGHHHHHH

….

Haha

Ahaha

I can't count the amount of times I've begged for death

An uncounted list losing itself in my mind

Haha

Oh but not you

Your fine

Do you know why?

Hmmm?

Because you haven't

You can get through the days and look at the sunset with joy

You can see the light at the end of the tunnel while the rest of us run into the walls

You don't have a gun pointed at your chest every time you walk into a room

And you are arrogant when it comes to the darkness of this world, blind to all its cruelty and oblivious to us who suffer from it in silence behind closed doors and closed faces

I…..

I…

ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

No! Not….Again!

WHAT DID I DO?!

(Heavy breathing)

HUH?!

HUH?!

ARRRRGGGHHHHH

….

(Crying)

Her voice….her voice

T-tha-that smile!

…..

No! ….NO!

No no no no no no no

ARRRGGGGHH

(Crying)

ARRRGGGGHHHH

Please

Make it stop

Make it stop!

The numbers flashing in my mind, the words screaming in my throat and the images of the past flashing in my eyes

The same messages

The same concept

The same goddam thoughts

Pressing, breaking, shattering and rebuilding themselves all over again

Pushing you so far

So far away

Just let me forget

Let me lose all sense of who I once was and die empty

(Crying)

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH

…..

Don't let me go

(Chocked sobs)

Don't let me wander this endless plain alone forever marked by my failures

Don't let me forever dwell in the dark as it drips into my soul and heart staining me

Don't let me add more regrets to the list I'm already crying over

Don't let me hurt anymore for I only wish to be hurt myself so you won't be

Don't let me cry for this world makes me view it as weakness

Don't let me become a murder holding this gun to both our heads

Don't let me become another number in this society's stupid system for them to check off and forget bloody in a ditch

Don't let me look into their eyes again and know I'm taking their happiness away or see their sadness and pain but do nothing but watch like a still quiet manqué with my still Styrofoam heart

Don't let me

…..

AARRRGGHHHHH

The urges!

The goddam fucking urges!

To help

To Love

To lust

To cry

And to kill

I've killed so many

So many dead dull eyes

So many still and broken hearts

So many salty tears

I see it all

Through my eyes wet with tears and blood

I caused it

I flipped the switch and ordered the execution

I did it

Blame me

BLAME ME!

Shackles me down forever in this cage of regret

Scream and curse my name to the heavens with your fading breath

Drive the stakes through me ending the demon I am

Let the blood trickle and the debt be paid with my tainted blood on the floor

Let me die

Let me pass

Let me go from this world so full of hate I help cause

….

….

Hahaha

But you won't will you?

Hahaha

I need to be strapped here and punished hmmm?

I've been a very bad boy hmmm?

Hahaha

ARGGGGGHHHHHH

(Quick breaths)

But…but it wasn't my fault n-no it couldn't have been

I may have pulled the trigger y-yes I did but I-I was ordered to I couldn't disobey

Could I?

ARGGGGGHHHHHHHH

…..

(Heavy breathing)

ARRRGGGGHHHHH

Hahaha

You should have seen it

They tried to stop me

Hahaha

Oh there was so much red

And it didn't match my outfit at all!

Hahaha

ARRRGGHHHHHHH

(Crying)

I-I'm a monster

The s-sins I've committed

H-How co…

…..

(Crying)

No…

No…..

No No No

please

PLEASE!

ARRGGGGGHHHHH

…..

….

…..

No….

No…

NO!

Who did this huh?!

Was it me?!

Did I push myself to this?!

Or was it you're fucked up society?!

How it takes hammer blows to our minds on how we think and feel?!

So many…..

So many more people feel like to live at peace with themselves they have to be perfect in everyone's eyes

You have to be fucking perfect

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!

(Screaming)

NEWS FLASH YOU FUCKING UNACCEPTING WOLRD!
NO ONES PERFECT!

WE ALL HAVE FLAWS, DINTS, CRACKS AND FUCKING HOLES

And I'm no different

I'm flawed; broken; scarred….

I've been pushed down, gotten back up just to pushed down again and do it all again in the endless cycle of my weakness

I've regretted so many things I've done and yet I am so young

I am like so many others

Lost in their own life not knowing where to go next or which path is right

Wondering if I should leave or simply die now

But we can't can we?

There are some people who still care for us right?

Who cares they don't matter

But they'll be sad

We're sad and they don't give a shit so why should we?

Yes they do

No they don't and you know it, you can see it in their eyes and in their face

They don't give two flying fucks about what happens to you as long as they don't get involved and or blamed

Haha who them or us?

Last time I checked we were a pussy who couldn't stand up for himself

Haha we're too weak for this world

Too weak for anyone

We have to be strong

But we failed that long ago

It was our fault

So young

So stupid

Haha

….

Kill me

…..

KILLL MEEEE!

…..

This world is become so big I can barely handle it anymore

So many rules, guidelines, movements, channels, lines, wires, methods, techniques, traditions, standards and so many goddam more

I not strong enough in their eyes and in my own

I'm not smart enough to successes in the game we call life

I'm sorry to tell you there's not much left in this world keeping me form pulling the trigger and ending it all

For if it were all to go

Fade in the wind

All that matters to me

When I hold that gun to my head and my life flashes before my eyes

My hands wouldn't be shaking

Because to take away my friends; to take away my family and all I hold so dear would leave me empty inside

I would no longer wish to live

I'd stick a knife in my own cold dead beating heart, jump off a never ending skyscraper and end up another fly splatter on someone's windscreen and I would put a gun in my mouth to fire off the bullet to the heavens to let them know I'm done.

I don't want to talk anymore

Why speak when no one listens?

Why tell you my doubts and fears when you don't care?

Why cry when there's no fucking point?

I gave you my opinion

Gave you my thoughts, fears and time

….

I don't want to talk anymore if you're always going to think the same about little old pathetic me

I simply can't take it anymore

This torture isn't going to make me talk

It's going to make me forget who I once was

For I no longer wish to know myself anymore

…..

So stand there and stab your little toys into mw to make me squirm

I was doing it long before you armatures

Itssoooofluffy