Disclaimer: ST: VOY is not mine.
Author's Note: Yes, a temporary reprieve from angst one-shots.God knows, I need a laugh. Lovely advisory report card... Merit English: B, Literature: B, Filipino: B, Chemistry Laboratory: C, Chemistry Lecture: F, Math: F. Robyn, you are truly a Communication major. (rolls eyes)
Mulier Est Hominis Confusio
By mistress amethyst une
Chapter 1
A well-placed foot was all it took.
Commander Chakotay had his eyes fixed on a PADD while walking down the corridor. Hadn't anyone ever told him to watch where he was going?
Lieutenant Tom Paris smiled. Captain Kathryn Janeway was walking down the corridor as well. She was similarly distracted and also had a PADD in hand. The command team really had to learn to watch where they walked.
It would only be matter of time before the Captain and Commander crossed paths. Why not make it interesting? A collision, perhaps?
Passing between the Captain and Commander, he planted his foot directly in Chakotay's path before swiftly getting out of the way. They were none the wiser as to what force caused the colossal hallway disaster. The impact must have mirrored the force involved in Chakotay's last shuttle crash. At least in Kathryn's opinion...
Safely out of the corridor, Tom smiled to himself as he made a swift turn and peeked at them from a safe vantage point. The Commander had landed on the Captain face first. And...
Tom ran back to his quarters as fast as his feet could take him. Chakotay would most certainly castrate him if he was found responsible for that little trip.
The Commander had landed face first on his superior's face. Scratch that... He'd fallen on her, they'd both gasped in surprise as they went down and he'd ended up in a rather strange lip lock.
"Mmph..."
Hearing the apparently distraught sound she made, Chakotay hurriedly scrambled to his feet. She lay there, dazed and not quite sure of what had just happened. He extended a hand out to her and it took her a second to comprehend. When she finally did come to her senses, she gratefully took his hand in hers and he pulled her up.
"Captain-"
She raised her hand to silence him as she picked up her PADD. She then met his gaze and, in a tone that betrayed nothing, she told him, "Later. We'll talk. At dinner."
He nodded, "1900. My quarters."
She returned his nod. As she walked off to the turbolift, Chakotay felt uneasiness building. Their discourse at the dinner table was going to be horribly awkward, if not, unpleasant. Of that he was certain... Gingerly, he picked up the PADD. Tuvok's security report...
"Commander," the Vulcan had said sternly, "I require you to review this report as soon as possible. I am concerned about your lack of involvement with the security team of late."
Chakotay had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Lack of involvement? It wasn't as if he didn't have other duties to attend to aside from coordinating with the Chief of Security.
"Sure, Tuvok. I'll have it done by the start of my shift."
And then he'd fallen asleep just as he was about to finish... Waking up fifteen minutes before his shift, he'd attempted to read the rest on his way to the bridge. But then...
He was frustrated with himself. Such stupidity... Tripping, dropping the report, falling on Kathryn, accidentally kissing Kathryn... Could that even be considered a kiss?
"The crew's probably settling their bets right now," he groaned inwardly, "Laughing their heads off at the command team..."
He was certain that a few crewmen had been in the hall checking up on the gel packs. Crewmen that had mysteriously disappeared the moment he'd come to his senses.
Chastising himself, he made his way to the bridge, "After all that fancy talk and pussyfooting... Admitting your feelings through an ancient legend and playing the suffering romantic... And for what? You fall all over her for your first kiss. Might even have injured her. Stupid..."
OOO
Kathryn felt the blush creeping along her cheeks even as she entered the safety and solitude of the turbolift. Her back was a bit sore but the embarrassment made her oblivious to the pain.What to do? How to react? What was that? She was certain her head looked like it was on fire now. Blushing redhead... She couldn't go to Engineering like this. Her Chief Engineer would surely ask about her health and she was not feeling particularly chatty.
"Computer, halt turbolift."
She took a series of deep breaths and tried to keep her mind off Chakotay.
"The Kazon, Neelix's coffee substitute, leola root..."
Ticking off all the unpleasant things about the Delta Quadrant would do the trick... Feeling her blush subside, she breathed a sigh of relief.
"Resume."
She could worry about dinner later. Stepping out of the turbolift and into Engineering, she tried to keep a serene expression on her face even as her mind wandered. Their first kiss... Or was it? Did it count? Or was it the second? Well, surely, it was their second lip lock. He had given her CPR before. But-
"Captain."
B'Elanna's voice snapped her out of her reverie.
"Lieutenant Torres," she nodded, "Report."
She couldn't really hear her subordinate's words but nodded her approval. Kathryn was incoherent, as much as she hated to admit it. Her thoughts kept floating back to... She shook her head to dispel the thought.
"Captain? So we won't be going ahead with the diagnostic?"
"Uh no... We'll be going ahead with it. I mean-"
B'Elanna gave her a strange look.
"Do it," she said in the best command tone she could muster at the moment.
That did nothing to dispel B'Elanna's look, "Yes, Captain. I'll have my report on your desk by 0900 tomorrow."
Kathryn nodded, "I look forward to reading it. Dismissed."
As she made her way back to the turbolift, it was all she could do not to growl in frustration. Distracted... So utterly distracted... Why? It was only a kiss. Heck, for all she knew it wasn't a kiss. But if it wasn't a kiss, what was it? Why was she even thinking about it? Damn it, in that one fall, Chakotay had utterly shattered her Captain's mask and she was damned if she didn't put herself back together soon.
And then my muse departed... Damn. I will finish though. I hope I can get a second chapter up. Anyone interested in betaing or coauthoring is welcome to PM me. :) (goes off to do her math homework) Oh yeah... Critique is welcome. I don't want to mess up the command team's personalities.
