As always, all characters originally appearing in the movie Labyrinth remain the property of whoever owns those rights. Don't bother trying to sue me for copyright infringement, 'cause I'm one shallow pocket. (Inside-out pocket, is more like it.)
Jareth looked at Sarah, trying to hide his desperation. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?" His calm façade was perfect, and Sarah looked at him with annoyance.
"What are you doing here? I don't remember wishing any babies away. Shouldn't you be off trying to seduce a teenage girl or chasing a chicken or something?" Sarah took a precautionary step backwards. Jareth's self-control prevailed.
"Why, Sarah, I thought you'd be happy to see me. It's been ages since our last get-together." The Goblin King gave a very melodramatic sigh. "Time certainly does fly." Sarah frowned. She didn't know how to respond to the Goblin King suddenly showing up in her life twelve years later--other than insult him, that is. And insults weren't appearing to work.
"What do you want, Jareth?" Her gray-blue eyes tried in vain to bore through his "just old friends" demeanor. He was just too good. Perhaps, she pondered, she should take a few acting lessons from him.
"Well, if you insist on moving straight to business…" Jareth smiled. Sarah shivered. "I've come to reclaim my place in your life. I thought we might get married, split our time between ruling my kingdom in the Underground and your acting career here in New York, maybe raise a kid or two when the time is finally ripe." Sarah's jaw had dropped to the floor in shock. Jareth reached his hand over to her face, closing Sarah's mouth with a "tsk, tsk." Sarah could only stare at him, completely speechless. "Well, I'll take your silence as assent."
He gently grabbed her arm and started to lead her towards the bedroom. He imagined she'd want to pack a few things before leaving for Las Vegas. As they reached the doorway, however, Sarah managed to regain control of herself and shake free of his grip.
"Just what the hell do you think you're doing! You kidnap my baby brother, nearly kill me repeatedly as I try to rescue him, when that doesn't work, you drugged and tried to seduce me--a mere fifteen year-old--and now, after twelve years of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING between us, you suddenly want to get married and settle down! What gives you the right?!"
He sighed, less dramatically than before, and turned his body to face her. "Sarah." He frowned. This was the part that wasn't going to be easy. He sighed again. "Sarah, are you going to deny that you didn't feel anything as we were dancing in that ballroom?"
Sarah reddened slightly. "Well, yeah. But I was only fifteen years old at the time, and you were this incredibly exotic Goblin King. And I was under the influence of a peach at the time! AND IT'S BEEN TWELVE…LONG…YEARS!"
Sarah had worked herself up to an ear-piercing scream by the end of that. She had to stop to catch her breath.
"Would you prefer to wait twelve more?" Before she could reply, Jareth grabbed her arms to her sides and moved to cover her mouth with his own. They had never kissed before. Sarah had come to her senses and the ball had ended before Jareth had had the chance to make his move. He was making up for it now. When he finally pulled away, Sarah's heart was pounding and more than her face was flushed. She could see that Jareth was experiencing something similar.
"It's recently come to my attention that it's time for me to become betrothed. If it's not someone of my own choosing, then it will be somebody else. I choose you. It would be such a pity to lose your true love forever just because they couldn't make a simple commitment in a timely fashion."
Despite her momentarily "weakened" condition, Sarah wondered at Jareth's casual use of the phrase "true love." Was she really his? Was he even hers? What was really going on here? She needed some real answers, and Jareth, as usual, was going to make them hard to come by.
"Just what--" It came out low and husky, embarrassing Sarah. She cleared her throat and started again, this time at her normal pitch. "Just what is going on here? In twelve years, you've not once felt the need to look me up and explore what almost happened between us. Why now? Who is this other person you'll be marrying, if I won't let you have me?" From the sudden flash of fear in his eyes, quickly hidden again behind that damnable controlled façade, Sarah knew that she had hit the nail on the head. "That's it! You don't like who they picked for you to marry! What's wrong with her?" At his stony silence, she added, "Either you tell me, or you can leave right now."
Jareth turned and began pacing around the living room. No damn goblins to kick. He considered throwing one of the knick-knacks on the mantle above the fake fireplace, but that wouldn't help his case with Sarah. Finally, Jareth stopped pacing, turned around to face Sarah, and began his story. "She's a fairy princess, my default bride." He sneered the word default. Apparently he had at least one difference of opinion with the powers-that-be when it came to joining his life with another "until death do you part." "Do you know anything about fairy princesses, Sarah?" She could remember the stories about Cinderella and Rapunzel and all, but she didn't think Jareth would be quite so upset if they were who he was talking about. After all, those stories always ended with, "And they lived happily every after." She shook her head no.
"Surely in that vivid childhood of yours you read the Brothers Grimm?"
"Well, yeah."
"Then you know of all the…problems fairy princesses usually encounter. Poisoned apples, fire-breathing dragons, enchanted spinning wheels. In general, repeated attempts on their lives."
"Yeah, so?"
"Have you ever wondered what these fairy princesses are like, to survive these trials and tribulations so successfully? Think about it, Sarah. What kind of woman can ingest a poisoned apple yet nevertheless survive until her Prince Charming arrives? Those apples are made with powerful magic, with much worse intent behind it than that drugged peach I gave you."
Sarah was imagining the woman that Jareth had described. She was starting to feel some sympathy for the evil witches and step-mothers in those stories. They never had a chance.
"Now, if you will," continued Jareth, "imagine the poor knight in shining armor who, in reward for rescuing the fairy princess, was forced to marry her. What about that poor sod? He's lucky if the fairy princess even thanks him for his effort. Rather, she'll turn on her husband, using offensively those same survival traits that served her defensive needs so well before." He paused briefly as a shudder passed through him. "It's not a pretty sight, let me tell you."
During Jareth's explanation, Sarah had taken a seat in one of the living room chairs. After a moment to reflect on his words, she quietly spoke. "So why should I get involved? Why are there only two women in your universe--me and this fairy princess fiancé?"
"It's not like I have a lot of time to get out and date, Sarah. I'm very limited in where and how I can enter your world."
"And this is my problem because…?"
Jareth walked over to where Sarah was sitting and knelt so that they were at eye level to each other. "Please, Sarah. If only because I gave you your childhood dreams. Just marry me. We can work out the rest at a later date."
"Just marriage? Just our names together on a piece of paper? Nothing else?"
Sarah slapped the alarm clock off. There was no way she was going to get up this early after last night.
Sarah was having a very nice dream. She was at a beach resort in the Caribbean. The tanned, evenly muscled cabana boy with the Tom Cruise smile who had brought her rum drink had stopped to rub lotion on Sarah's back. So why was he massaging her feet?
Sarah woke with a start, in the process nearly kicking Jareth off the end of her bed. "You! What are you doing here?" After their hasty, "Chapel of Elvis" wedding the previous night, Jareth--marriage certificate in hand--had promised to leave Sarah alone for the next 48 hours while she got some sleep and worked on figuring out what it was she wanted to do about him. It had definitely not yet been 48 hours.
Jareth repositioned himself at the end of the bed and resumed the foot massage. "Last night you seemed to be, uh, under a bit of stress. My husbandly duties include helping my wife to relax." Somehow, without detracting from that wonderful foot massage, one of his hands managed to move upward and caress her leg.
"We agreed that you were to stay away for awhile." Sarah glanced at the digital AM/FM/alarm clock on the bedside table. "By my reckoning, there's still 40 hours to go."
The massage was moving upward from her feet. Sarah's calves had never felt so good. "As I said, you seemed a little upset last night. I didn't think you meant it." He had reached her lower thighs. Just as Sarah was going to put a stop to it, he reached up and rolled her over onto her stomach and started in on her back. Those fingers were working a whole other kind of magic. Sarah couldn't bring herself to tell Jareth to stop. "And any decisions about us should be made by us." Jareth had worked his way down her left arm and was now hitting all the right pressure points on her hand. Sarah still couldn't bring herself to respond. Besides, after what she had done for him last night, she deserved--
What was her finger doing in his mouth? Sarah rolled over her right side and onto her back, unfortunately pulling closer the Goblin King still quite attached to her left hand. "What the helmmph--"
Those lips of his were incredibly fast.
And skilled.
By the time they left her mouth to visit the rest of her body, Sarah no longer cared. She was in heaven.
"They certainly look like a newlywed couple to me.""If it's not a sham marriage, then what are they doing here on earth? They should be at the Castle Beyond The Goblin City. I tell you, the Goblin King is not to be trusted!" The woman stamped her foot in anger and frustration. She knew she had just been scammed; she just couldn't prove it.
The dark-haired woman in the bed began to stir. A hand reached out to slap the snooze bar, when the woman realized that she had turned off the radio earlier. Still half-asleep, the woman looked toward the strange man and the woman standing past the foot of her bed. Her eyes popped wide open, and she clutched at a sheet to cover her nakedness. The sheet wouldn't budge.
Sarah gave Jareth a hard jab with her elbow and wrenched the sheet from him. He replied with a sleep-filled, "Huh?"
Sarah jabbed him again. "Who are these strange people in my bedroom, staring at us?" she hissed.
That woke him. Jareth angled his head up to see past the rest of his body, trying to focus his eyes. "Oh." He twisted around and sat up against the headboard, pulling the sheet up to his abdomen. "Oberon, Princess. I certainly wasn't expecting either of you here. You'll forgive me if I stay where I am." He gave a quick glance at Sarah and wished he hadn't. Maybe the Fairy Princess would have been easier to live with. He smiled at the thought, and returned his attention to the two visitors. "Now, is there some purpose to your visit, or do you just enjoy popping in unexpectedly on a man and his wife?"
Oberon gave a deep chuckle. "The Princess here had some misgivings about the genuiness of your recent nuptials, given your previous criticisms of the matrimonial state." Oberon cast his eyes over the scene on the bed and smiled lasciviously. "I must say, everything appears quite genuine to me." Oberon turned to the woman at his side. "Don't you agree, Princess?" She just scowled at the grinning Goblin King before disappearing without so much as a by your leave. "Well, I guess she does."
Oberon turned his attention to the woman beside Jareth. "And what is your name, my dear?"
"Sarah." It came out in a squeak.
"Well, Sarah, let me be the first of many to congratulate you. And Jareth, I don't know how you did it, but I'm happy that you did."
"Thank you, Oberon. We'll be sure to stop by the Fey Kingdom and tell you and Titania all the details, when we get back." Oberon took the hint and kindly made his departure.
Jareth took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for the Wrath Of The Heroine.
