A ridiculous drabble that was inspired by the song at the bottom, but don't listen to the song until you read the fic or else it won't make sense anyway.

BESIDE ME

I love you more than you will ever know. I tell you over and over again, but I'm not sure if you hear me.

You lay beside me in the dark, your breath tickling the back of my neck as our bodies form around each other like puzzle pieces. You moan something silly in your sleep and I giggle. "Reid," I whisper, "go back to sleep." I kiss your cheek gently, petting back your matted curls.

Wind blows through our open window; the curtains shifting, dancing shadows through our room like ghosts. I smile to myself, filled with a strange peace. I revel in the night, I feel so safe in darkness. I sleep during the day, when you're gone and there's no reason to be awake.

I give you one last kiss before sliding out slowly from your arms. The floorboards creek beneath my feet as I make my way out of our room and down the stairs.

The house is dark and cold. The day's heat burned off with sunset leaving the air crisp and cool. I wrap my arms around myself, my body clad only in boxers and your old Harvard T-shirt. It smells like you, like new books, earthy and safe.

I make my way through our sitting room, the furniture touched only once during our house warming. My mother said we had to have a sitting room, because we're rich and rich people have sitting rooms, so I appeased her.

We could waste a room on nothing anyway our house is so big, so many floors and rooms, hallways and doors. Enough to lose yourself in. Break a piece of yourself off to paint the walls with, coloring them in shades of you, so no matter where you are you can find yourself again.

I asked you why we needed such a big house and you said, "the more places to fuck you in," and I laughed a hopeful sound.

You aren't here very often, though. You're gone most of the time, off doing whatever, but at night you come home to me.

I pick up a picture sitting on our mantle my mother took at the opening of the neuro wing, your pride and joy. Everyone is smiling, Bob and Kim, Casey and Ali, Katie, Jacob and Chris. Chris, the man you saved. When everyone sat around weeping, you took action, as always never taking no for an answer. I was so proud of you that day, and every day after, to call you mine.

Things have changed since then; your bright and cunning smile has faded with time. But I still remember the youthful smirk you met me with when you shook your hand in mine. The stubble on your chin the first clue to the mystery of Dr. Oliver. But I have found you out. You wear stubble when you're distraught, over come with emotions that you're afraid to let out and so you hide behind a rugged beard.

I laugh gently as I make my way back upstairs. You never could hide from anybody, Dr. Oliver. Your eyes are betrayers of your soul. They are too clear, they are too honest, they are too open. They are too much a part of you… at least they were.

I slip back into bed beside you, slowly snuggling my body against your warmth. Your breath hitches, your body jerking suddenly awake as you reach out a hand to me.

"Luke?"

"Shh, Noah, go back to sleep." I smile gently. His eyes are heavy and he falls back against the pillow with a yawn and quickly drifts back to dreams.

I know you are gone, I know you aren't here, but I can't help it. I place you in time beside me. I close my eyes and pretend he's you, with the same curly hair and strong muscles, a familiar smell that brings me back to my college years, when I met you.

I love you, Reid. I love you more than you'll ever know. And so every night I close my eyes and place you, instead of him, beside me.

Inspired by this song: .com/watch?v=5nq7VtNoeSk (lyrics under the "show more" button)