A/N: Well once again I got bored and put my mind into a Dora crackfic I'm going to try to make this a series if you liked it let me know and I'll make more adventures of randomness btw I do not own Dora or any characters used in this crackfic
The Adventures Of Dora LE Explora
Part One
A BAD DAY FOR EXPLORING
A long time ago in a place called Doraland. Dora the explorer was getting ready to explore. She called to her weird monkey companion named boots who danced around like a moron when he saw Dora. As Dora and boots simply looked around for a reason to go exploring the king of all the lands carriage went by. Dora and boots could hear the king speaking of evil tobacco monsters that would invade soon and destroy everything. The king could prevent them from existing if he shoved a magical banana up his arse. Dora listened intently and the king then said "I finally have the banana the kingdom is saved" exclaimed the king excitedly. Then the king's rider stated "sire Justin Bieber is coming to town look to the side". the king turned to see the floating magic poster on the roadside. The banana fell from the carriage and into a river the king never noticed but Dora and boots did. Dora and boots tried to catch up with the carriage but due to Dora forcing boots to chase the banana Dora's fat stubby legs could not catch the carriage. All Dora could do is sit and watch as the carriage drove out of sight. "Oh NO" said Dora "if we can't go to the bar to find the king and reunite him with the magic banana then the kingdom is doomed". "What are we going to do what are we going to do" said boots who suddenly appeared behind Dora without explanation.
Weren't you chasing the banana"? Said Dora "I was" said boots "but then it disappeared under the Trolololoololollolololololololololls Bridge". "We have to get it back" shouted Dora" "but Dora where are we supposed to go"? "We can ask the map" said Dora. "Say map" Dora said to no one at all boots sat silently in the background waiting for something to happen. Then finally the magical piece of paper jumped out of Dora's backpack and began to sing scream-o. When it finally finished it spoke out incredibly fast words in Spanish and combusted into ashes for about the 300th time Dora thinking she heard all the details said that they had to go through meth mountain pass the trololololololololololololololollls then go through a weird lab underground and finally they would arrive at the kings bar. Dora and boots set off on their way to save the kingdom that they didn't even live in. they followed the path that always was heading north that was always there. Then they started to look for the banana. As they went on the shadow of meth mountain grew closer and ever closer.
Soon came the time where Dora stood on the foot of Meth Mountain boots noticed a cave and went inside boots came out with Tico the illegal Amish Mexican meth dealer and their longtime friend. "Tico" exclaimed boots excitedly "can you help us get over Meth Mountain" said Dora. "I can" stated Tico "but only if you pay me with me snorts". It's a deal said Dora once again Dora started to talk to no one at all. "Can you find 10 pieces of meth rocks that are perfect for snorting"? Dora sat and waited for a gap of time then selected 10 rocks and crushed them into dust "thank you" said Tico as he snorted all the meth up in a matter of only 40 seconds. "But how can you help us" said boots Tico just pointed at a bush then passed out from overdose. Dora went over to the bush and found a helicopter Dora jumped in and started the engine. The helicopter began to rise but Dora being a six year old could not fly a helicopter and the helicopter began to fall "OH NO DORA" screamed boots. But just as the copter hit the ground it was knocked skyward and landed conveniently directly on the Peak of Meth Mountain. The helicopter then harmlessly slid down the side and stopped. Dora and boots climbed out and then began to sing we did it we did it but before they could finish the helicopter exploded behind them. Dora and boots started to run to the Trolololololololololololollls Bridge which was right behind them. "where is the banana"? Said Dora right here said the grumpy old troll as he fell from the sky. And you can only have it if you solve my riddle of raging. "Okay what is it" said Dora "what is love"? Replied the troll Dora's mind thought of many answers but Dora just decided to finish the song the troll had referenced. the troll sat speechless and then exploded into a golden coin and the magic banana. "Dora we are almost there" said boots "we just have to pass 1 more obstacle". Dora and boots walked over the troll bridge and ahead saw an old shed near a Wheatfield.
"I don't get it Dora where could the lab be" said boots. Maybe it's in there said Dora pointing at the shed boots walked over and opened the door yes it is Dora and look an elevator. Boots and Dora entered and the shaft went down into a messed up room with white spherical things lying on the ground. look Dora lollypop machines said boots Dora then heard a noise that was very alarming ksk ksk ksk "uh oh that sounds like Swiper " cried Dora "he will want to steal the banana" said boots. Just then Swiper jumped out of nowhere and stole the banana out of boot's hands "hehe" laughed Swiper as he tried to make his escape but just then one of the {lollypop machines} turned on and shot bullets everywhere while spewing out quotes. Swiper was shot into the corner of the room. "Dora look! The lollypop machines got Swiper with a lollypop beam and now he's spitting out lollypop juice" said boots." I don't think those are lollypop machines" said Dora. Boots then looked up and saw the exit Dora and boots left out through the escape elevator and saw the kings bar in the distance just as they began to run up to it out of nowhere 4 tobacco monsters began to chase Dora and boots "hurry Dora hurry were so close" shouted boots. They slammed into the bar and closed the door at the last second now where is the king said Dora boots scanned the room and found him drinking from the toilet in the bathroom. boots then inserted the banana up the kings arse and instantly all the tobacco monsters died. When boots came out of the bathroom Dora was drunk and passed out at the counter so he grabbed her by the arm and dragged her all the way home dislocating both of Dora's wrists in the process.
A/N: So did you enjoy this story I'm taking votes should I continue this series or should I make a lord of the rings Dora parody first tell me in the comments. Oh and if you knew what those [lollypop machines] really were and where Dora and boots were give yourself a thumbs up.
