Title: Atlas
Author: Jennie
Characters: Seph McCauley
Fandom: Heir series by Cinda WIlliams Chima
Rating: PG-13 for drug use
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Prompt: LJ community 31_days Oct. 25 The weight of the world
AN: Spoilers for Dragon Heir.
He doesn't need a lecture.
He's fine. Really. Just a bit tired. Well, okay. Exhausted. Maybe. But he's doing okay, he's holding on.
He can't fail.
So what if Mind-Burner is dangerous? It's working. He's finally got a clear head. He can concentrate on his classes- when he bothers to go- and monitor the sanctuary at the same time. No one else can- Iris isn't strong enough and Nick just looks awful lately.
A part of him, deeply buried, is furious at his father for leaving him with this task. A part of him, not so deeply buried, is jealous of Jason and the fact he can't perform this task and therefore is free of the burden. A part of him, closer to the surface, wants to understand why Madison has just taken off, why she won't tell him what's going on. And a part of him, not buried at all, realizes that no matter what everyone else is doing, keeping the barrier up is his task to bear- and if Mind-Burner helps him, then it's worth it.
The heat is startling, at first. The first time he took it, it took control over him. The second time he took it, he knew what to expect, was in control, thought he was prepared- but he wasn't. The power that surged through him was incredible. He tries to force it down most of the time, and sometimes he's afraid he's going to set the chair he's currently sitting in or the clothes he's wearing on fire. It's that powerful- this flame that rages within him, searching for a way out.
He can only imagine what his parents would say if they knew. Neither of them are really used to being parents yet, which is why he's been able to escape without a curfew, or why they don't mind leaving Jason and him alone for even weeks on end. "They're nearly adults," (or in Jason's case- already an adult), he heard Linda tell Becka once. "They're managing fine on their own and it's not like either of them needs or wants me to start interfering now."
This...is true, in a way. Ironically, it's Hastings who steps into the role of parent easier than Linda does. The wizard is strict about certain things- maybe not curfews, but school attendance (something Jason has trouble with) or not screwing up.
Seph has a feeling taking Mind-Burner would count as "screwing up" in his father's mind.
But Hastings isn't here, he reminds himself. And what he doesn't know can't hurt him. The wizard- along with Linda- is off somewhere in Europe, doing who know's what. All Seph knows is that he was left in charge with the lives of the citizens of the Sanctuary, and he is going to prove that he is powerful enough for the job.
Even if it requires the "occasional" dose of Mind-Burner.
He can handle it.
He can handle everything.
He'll stop when he wants to.
Closing his eyes, leaning back in the chair, he views the carefully threaded net of the Sanctuary, going through each piece of magic. It sings to him, causes his blood to boil in anticipation.
Beautiful.
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Jason smokes. Jack and Ellen are busying training with their army of dead warriors. Madison isn't around. Will and Fitch are Anaweir- they can't do anything. Nick is growing more frail by the day, and the rest of the wizards, save Iris, can't be trusted- and there's only so much Iris can do.
It's on him to keep everyone safe.
He's not addicted. He's just doing it because he wants to. Because it helps.
Because.
What's a little Mind-Burner in order to save the world?
