After All This Time
This short tale follows my Hudson family from my 2013 fic – A New Beginning. It def stands alone, though, so reading the first is not a necessity. Basically, all you need to know is that Sue and Jack are married and have a daughter named Ava.
X X X
Five year-old Ava Hudson peered out from behind the heavy red curtain hanging on the stage. She quickly scanned the audience looking for two – or three, actually – familiar figures, but she didn't see any of them.
She didn't see her mother, she didn't see Bella, her mother's faithful service dog, nor did she see her father. Ava bit her lip. It wasn't like her parents to be late – especially her dad. He never once broke a promise to her. She was always able to spot him in a crowd and this time she didn't see him in the audience.
"Ava, sweetheart, what's wrong? Why such the sad face?"
At the sound of the familiar voice, Ava turned around. "Daddy! You made it!" she exclaimed as she jumped into his arms.
"Of course I would make it, Pumpkin Pie," he replied as he kissed her forehead.
"I didn't see you out there and I thought maybe you were still at work or maybe you forgot. Where's Momma?" she asked as she rested her head on her father's shoulder.
Jack furrowed his brow in confusion. "Momma's here already. Isn't she?"
"Nuh-huh." Ava shook her head. "No Momma and no Bella.
"I thought Mommy was coming early to help with your classroom Christmas party this afternoon."
"That's silly, Daddy. Mommy helped with the Halloween party. Sarah's mommy helped with the Thanksgiving party, and it was Ian's mommy's turn to help with the Christmas party. Mommy didn't help cause she already had her turn to help."
"Oh…" Jack trailed off. "I see."
"Do you think Mommy will miss it cause she has to help the good guys catch the bad guys?" Ava asked while trying to keep a brave face.
"I tell you what," he began to calm her fears as he set Ava on her feet. "You finish getting ready for the concert, and I'll go call Mommy and see where she is."
"What if she misses the concert?"
"Well," Jack began, trying to think of something to say. "I'm sure Mommy will be here soon. Why don't you finish getting your costume on, and I'll call Mommy and see where she is. And, if by some chance, Mommy misses the beginning of your concert we can record it and she can watch it at home. Does that sound okay?"
Ava sniffled. "Uh-huh."
"Good," he ruffled her hair.
"Daddy! Don't mess up my hair, peas!"
"Oh, sorry," he apologized quickly with a smile as he fixed her hair. "Better?"
She nodded.
"Do you need any help getting ready?"
"I don't need any help. I'm a big kid. You can leave now, Daddy. I have to practice."
"Okay, sweetheart. You'll do great, Pumpkin Pie."
Ava giggled. It was her favorite nickname, even though she always reminded her daddy that she was girl and not a food.
He kissed her on the forehead again before stepping out to call Sue.
Jack pulled his phone from his pocket and looked out to the parking lot one last time to see if he saw Sue arriving. When he didn't see her, he dialed her number.
"Hey, it's me," he began when the voicemail beeped. "I'm at Ava's school and you aren't here yet. I'm starting to get worried. Call me as soon as you get this. Be careful. I love you."
"Jack!"
At the sound of his name, Jack turned around. "Frank, Cindy. How are you?"
"Great. It's good to see you. Ian talks about playing with Ava all the time school. I think he's smitten," Cindy began with a smile. "We'll have to set up a playdate for them over break."
"Yes, definitely," Jack flashed a smile before asking his question. "Cindy, was Sue supposed to be here early to help with the Christmas party this afternoon?"
"No," she shook her head. "She was here for the Halloween party, I believe. It was just me today. Why?" she asked cautiously. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, everything's fine. I was just wondering."
"Attention, please, parents. The concert will begin in ten minutes. Please begin to find your seats."
"Looks like that's our cue," Frank said.
"Are you coming?" Cindy asked Jack.
"I'm going to wait for Sue for a minute. I'll be right in."
"Okay, we'll save seats for you guys."
"Thanks," he smiled. "I'd appreciate that."
Five minutes went by and there was still no sign of Sue. Jack was just about to go find his seat when he looked up and saw Sue and Bella rushing in.
"Sorry," she signed as she approached him. "The Beltway was insane. I almost thought I wouldn't make it on time." She said when they were within speaking distance.
"I'm glad you made it. I was worried," he admitted. "When I left the office this afternoon, I stopped down on your floor to see if you wanted to carpool, but your secretary said you had already left to go the classroom Christmas party. And, well, when I got here, you weren't here and Ava said you weren't at the party and I began to worry. We've put a lot of people away, Sue; you never know who might come back for revenge."
Sue's face fell. The real reason she had to leave the office early was a surprise – such a top-secret surprise that she told a white lie to her secretary. She never even stopped to think about the possibility that Jack would stop by her office.
Sue was still trying to find the right words to explain the situation as Jack continued. "I obviously don't expect to know where you are 24/7, but when you weren't where I thought you were supposed to be…it…it scared me."
"I'm sorry, Jack," she apologized as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Everything is okay – I promise. I know I owe you can explanation…can we table this until we get home tonight?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "The concert is about to start soon anyways."
Sue followed Jack into the auditorium and Cindy waved them over as she removed her belongings from the seats she saved for them. They were barely situated when the side lights dimmed and the red curtain opened on the stage.
It was easy to spot Ava. She was in the center of the second row. Her long, dark, curly hair bobbed around from under her green elf hat. She waved excitedly when she spotted her mother in the audience and Sue responded by blowing a kiss in her direction.
Jack smiled at the exchange and his previous worries were slowly beginning to fade away.
The pianist began the introduction to the first piece of music, and Jack tapped Sue's shoulder. "Santa Clause Is Coming to Town," he explained.
Sue nodded and focused her attention back to the stage.
The children sang happily, but Ava clearly stood out in comparison to all the others. In addition to the singing, she animatedly signed the lyrics to the song.
"Did you know about this?" They asked each other at the same time.
"No," Jack shook his head. "Not at all."
"Me either."
Sue's eyes watered at the thoughtfulness of their daughter's actions and she sank into Jack's embrace as he put his arm around her shoulder. She was even more delighted when she realized that Ava signed the entire concert – announcements and all - not just the first song. Jack couldn't have been more proud of his daughter either.
At the end of the concert the children were dismissed to find their parents and Ava made a beeline for Sue. "Were you surprised, Momma?! Were you?!" She asked as she bounced up and down.
"Oh, baby," Sue sighed. "I was very surprised. You did such a wonderful job," she said as she picked Ava up and smothered her with kisses. "I love you soooooo much."
Ava giggled with delight.
"Can a dad get in on this hug?" Jack asked.
"What about you Daddy? Were you surprised?" She asked as her father wrapped them both into an embrace.
"Very surprised."
"I do have one question, Ava," Sue began. "There were some pretty big words you had to fingerspell. How did you learn to spell them?"
Ava grinned. "I had Aunt Lucy help me, but I made her promise not to tell."
"Why didn't you ask me for help?" Jack asked out of curiosity.
"Because I wanted you to be surprised, too, Daddy…and I didn't want you to accidently tell Mommy. I'm pretty sure you tell Mommy everything."
Ava's comment earned a few chuckles from the parents that were walking by.
"What made you decide to sign all the songs?" Jack asked.
"I remembered when the power goes out how you said that Mommy as a hard time reading our lips and then I remembered that it was dark in the auditorium so I thought it would be hard for Mommy to read my lips. That's why I asked Aunt Lucy to help me practice the signs."
"I'm very proud of you, too, Ava. Not too many kids your age would think to do something like that."
"Does that mean I could have two cookies?" She asked wide eyed as she eyed the refreshment table.
Sue and Jack laughed and looked at each other. To anyone who happened to be walking by, they would have thought that the pair was exchanging an affectionate glance as husband and wife. But to those who knew them well, it was obvious they were having an entire conversation without the need to exchange any words or signs – it was all in through their eyes.
"Yes," Sue finally said. "But only two cookies and that is it. It will be past your bedtime by the time we get you home."
"Okay," Ava signed as she made her way to the cookies table.
X X X
Sue arrived home first and prepared the tea kettle as she began to think of how to tell Jack where she was that afternoon.
Bella tapped on Sue's leg signaling the tea kettle was ready just as Jack walked in the door with a sleeping Ava in his arms. "Didn't think you'd beat me home," he said.
Sue smiled. "I know how long it takes to get Ava situated in the car. I'm not surprised in the least. When did she fall asleep?"
"She was out like a light before we even merged on the Beltway."
"I'll get her ready for bed," Sue said as she extended her arms.
"No, I got it. You finish whatever you are doing, and I'll be back in a few minutes.
Sue carried two mugs into the family room and set them down on the table.
"Okay, girl," she said to Bella. "Jack and I have to have a private conversation, so you have the rest of the night off. Go lay down," she said as she gestured to the doggy bed in the corner of the room. "Good girl," she finished when Bella trotted over to her bed.
When Jack returned a short while later, he found Sue sitting on the sofa with her feet propped up on the coffee table as she drank her tea. "Penny for your thoughts?" he asked as he sat down, picked up her feet and placed them in his lap to massage.
"I think my thoughts are worth more than a penny, you know."
"Okay, two pennies, then," Jack chuckled which earned him a playful slap on the shoulder.
A comfortable silence blanketed the room for a few minutes before Sue spoke again. "If you ever decide the FBI isn't for you anymore, you can probably make a career out of giving foot massages."
"Dully noted."
"So," Sue began after another pause. "There was only one thing I could think about while Ava was up there signing. I was thinking about what a wonderful big sister she would be – the way she cares about others, how kind, thoughtful and considerate she is. Jack, she would be such a loving and protective big sister."
"Sue…." Jack began cautiously as he made eye contact. "We've been down this road before."
X X X
When Ava was almost two-years old, Sue and Jack decided it would be the perfect time to add another baby to their family. They had been thinking about it off and on for some time and Ava absolutely loved helping out when they babysat Tara's sixth-month old son; so they figured she would transition smoothly into being a big sister. However, fate didn't seem to be on the same page.
Month after month came and went with no pregnancy in the cards. Eventually, they went to consult with a specialist for tests to determine what was wrong. When all the tests came back clear the doctor explained that they were suffering from unexplained secondary infertility.
Unexplained.
The word played over and over in Jack's mind as the doctor spoke.
"A previous successful pregnancy does not guarantee another future success," the doctor began. "Twenty percent of couples find that they suffer from unexplained infertility. I'll send you home with some reading materials should you be interested in some treatments that may help in your situation. I'm sorry I don't have better news."
As an agent and a lawyer, Jack was the type of man who didn't like unanswered questions, so the fact that the diagnosis was "unexplained" was a hard pill for him to swallow. They read all the pamphlets from the doctor, and conducted their own research, but Sue wasn't too keen on hormone therapy, fertility drugs, and IVF for a magnitude of reasons. Jack knew full well that religion was one of those reasons, even though she skirted around the question when he brought it up one night. Sue's unwavering faith was one of the many things he loved about her, so they settled for using ovulation charts and meticulously scheduling their love life down to the minute it seemed.
By the time Ava was four years old, Sue still wasn't pregnant and the whole situation was beginning to take its toll on both of them. They fought more with each other than they ever had before, they were always exhausted and Sue cried more than she ever thought possible.
One night when he came home late from work, Jack found Sue curled up on their bed, eating ice cream from the carton and crying while watching Steel Magnolias. Jack didn't even need to ask – this became a monthly ritual – he knew exactly why she was crying.
He sat down on the edge of the bed and loosened his tie as he spoke. He wanted another baby as much as Sue did, but he also wanted his wife back. He reached out and used his thumb to wipe away her tears. "Sue, maybe it is time to take a break from all of this."
"What do you mean?" She asked with a sniffle, panic bubbling in her stomach. Did he mean a break from them – from their marriage?
Jack reached over to the nightstand and retrieved a tissue to hand her. He waited for her to blow her nose before continuing. "I want another baby as badly as you do," he began as he reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear, "but I just think we should take a break from trying for a while. It may be selfish of me, Sue, but I miss the way things used to be. I hate arguing like we do, I hate the stress, I hate the cloud that seems to be lingering over our house, I hate that you are hurting and I can't make it better, and I hate that damn schedule." His voice was soft and comforting and he only hoped that his facial expressions would convey that to Sue.
Sue let out a small chuckle, relieved. "I hate that schedule, too."
Jack removed his shoes and pulled his feet onto the bed while he waited for her to continue.
"I don't like feeling like this, either," she began as she touched his face gently. His hand caught hers and he kissed her fingers. The worries she had about him wanting to take a break from their marriage faded deeper and deeper away with each new kiss. "I'm really sorry. I feel guilty…like I'm being greedy by wanting another child so much. I'm sorry I can't seem to give you what you want, too." She knew she wasn't making much sense, but she couldn't seem to find the right words to express how she was feeling. She hoped that Jack understood.
And he did understand – just as he always did. "Hey, stop that. This is no one's fault. It is unexplained."
She sniffled again. "I always pictured you teaching our son how to throw a spiral in the backyard and taking him to hockey lessons."
"Ava has one heck of a throwing arm and she's pretty good on the ice," he grinned. "So, I'd say that I'd did pretty well teaching her those things. I don't have to pass my hobbies on to a son specifically."
"She is your mini-me," Sue observed. "And even if we would have had another daughter instead of a son, I can picture so easily picture her playing with Ava…and I know for a fact that she would have had you wrapped around her little finger instantly…just liked Ava did."
"We can always look into adoption down the road, but for right now, I think it's best to just take a break from all of this. Let's just be us again and enjoy spending our time with Ava and getting rid of that schedule, yes?" He raised an eyebrow and she nodded in response.
Sue laughed as Jack lunged forward and pressed her against the headboard as he assaulted her neck with a trial of kisses and then paused to focus on the particularly ticklish spot just below her chin. "That tickles!" She freed herself enough to lean over to the nightstand and pick up the calendar. "Consider it gone," she said as she tore it in half and tossed it on the floor.
Sue sighed and leaned into his embrace. It was the most content she felt in at least a year. "Hold me all night," she requested simply.
"Always," he signed as he kissed her forehead.
X X X
And now here they were nearly a year later. Jack was so engrossed in his trip down memory lane that he didn't realize Sue had moved and was now in front of him. She was sitting on the edge of the coffee table but leaning forward staring at him intently. "Jack?"
"Maybe it is a good time to look into adoption," he offered a bit selfishly, afraid that trying for a baby would pull them further apart than it had before.
Sue shook her head as she took his hands and placed them on her stomach. "Maybe what I should have said was: Ava is going to be such a wonderful big sister." Sue watched with a smile as Jack pieced everything together in his mind.
"Really?" was the only word Jack could formulate.
She nodded, blinking back the tears. "Yes, really. That's why I left the office today. I had a doctor's appointment to confirm and I didn't want to say anything to you until I knew for sure. But yes, there is a baby in there. Amazing, isn't it? After all this time…"
"Come here you," he said as he pulled her into his lap. "I love you."
She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair. "Good, because I love you, too. Why don't we go upstairs and celebrate?" She asked as she played with the collar of his shirt and fidgeted with the first few buttons.
"Upstairs we go," he agreed as he stood up with her still in her arms and began to walk towards the stairs. "Um, Sue?"
"Hmm?" She asked, half distracted by the fact that she was trying to unbutton more buttons.
"You remember the night Ava was conceived, right?"
"Yes, of course… we stopped and stayed at that bed and breakfast when we were driving home from Ohio during that snowstorm. It was rather," she paused, searching for a word to use. "Magical – as I recall."
"When do you think this little one was conceived?" He asked out of curiosity as he used his hand to make circular motions over her stomach as they ascended up the stairs. Sue had conveniently neglected saying how far along she was, so it was making it hard for him to determine which time may have been the time.
Sue grinned, her eyes sparkling. "I'm not sure you'd believe me," she teased as she ran her fingers across his collarbone, her touch a mixture of both gentleness and firmness.
"Try me," he insisted as he entered their bedroom, nudged the door closed with his foot and settled her down on the middle of the bed. He broke contact with her only long enough to turn the lamp on the nightstand on.
"Well, remember when Ava ended up staying with Lucy for the entire weekend because of that random blizzard that came out of nowhere? We had the entire house to ourselves, just the two of us…We were very active even though we stayed in bed most of the weekend."
For a moment, Jack's mind flashed back to the blizzard in the early spring of 2005 – the one that was a catalyst for bringing him and Sue together as a couple, then to the night at the bed and breakfast, and then to the most recent storm a short while ago. It snowed often in Washington, DC, but the amount of snow involved in those three events were certainly enough to constitute a blizzard and actual blizzards were, in fact, few and far between. "Blizzards have been good to us," he determined.
"Yes," she laughed. "They sure have."
