THE STUPID YET SOMEHOW NORMAL LIVES OF MARIO AND LUIGI CHAPTER ONE: FISHING IS POWER
A/N: Hi guys! I decided I'll put up a whole bunch of random one shots of the documented lives of Mario and Luigi! Why? Cause I want to and I haven't done anything on this site for a LONG time. Whilst I am completely unreliable to update my stories on time, I figured that if meanwhile I started posting a load of one-shots, I wont have to worry about disappointing people by not uploading the next chapter of the story, 'cause there wont be one! Genius! *:D I WILL update my other stories (one day) but for now, I decided I'll try this so I won't have to worry about keeping up with a plot and all(because I'm lazy sometimes). R&R and if you have any requests/queries feel free to tell me! All criticism and help appreciated!
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Mario OR Nintendo (unfortunately :*( )
(For your information, these one-shots will be written in play script format)
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It was a rainy Sunday in the mushroom kingdom. A large storm was brewing up and everyone was cowering indoors like idiots and a bunch of koopa hobos were huddled up under a tree beginning to regret the rain dance they preformed earlier on in the week. Everyone was bored, and decided today was simply not made for outdoor tasks. That is except everyone but a certain two red and green clad plumbers...
MARIO: AHH! Would you just smell that fresh country air!(takes a deep breath in)
LUIGI: Mario, in this weather, all I can smell is mud and grass...
MARIO: Well duh, what do you think country air is?
LUIGI:(whining) Can we just hurry up and leave already? The sooner we're done, the sooner I can come back home to my Playstation!
MARIO:(also whining) Yeah, and my play-dough!
LUIGI: YOU STILL PLAY WITH PLAY-DOUGH?
MARIO: Yeah, its fun and its tasty when you put it in cookie dough!
LUIGI: Urgh, no wonder I always mysteriously get diarrhoea! And I always thought it was Peach's cake...
MARIO:(snapping) DON'T YOU EVER INSULT MY PEACHY'S CAKES AGAIN!
LUIGI: Surely you've come across the little lumps of castor sugar and raw egg at least once whilst eating one of her cakes?
MARIO: No...
LUIGI: Whatever, we're getting sidetracked. Lets just go before we catch a cold!
MARIO: Wow, since when did you care about me! Thanks bro, I'm so touched!(sniffs)
LUIGI: MARIO MOVE! I'M COLD AND I DONT WANT TO CATCH INFLUENZA! JUST GO SO WE GET THIS STUPID TRIP OVER AND DONE WITH JEEZE!
MARIO: Way to ruin the moment Weegee...
LUIGI: MOVE!
MARIO: Alright, alright calm down...
The pair squelch and struggle up a large muddy wet hill and appear on the other side and head towards a small pond at the bottom of it.
LUIGI: You made me carry all of our fishing equipment, forced me out here in the cold, oh and did I mention THE FRICKING LIGHTNING STORM, JUST to make me fish in this TINY pond that probably has NO living creatures in it whatsoever!
MARIO:(placing finger to lips) SHH! This pond is said to be charmed with an unlimited amount of fish! All you have to do is keep quiet and sing in the language of the marine people and they'll listen to you and grant you with a mother load of fish!(starts singing in an unknown, made-up sounding language and darts around in random directions)
LUIGI: I knew mum lied when she said she hadn't dropped you as a baby...
MARIO:(incredibly loudly) SHUT UP I'M CONCENTRATING!
LUIGI: (straight facing)Umm, I think you've probably already scared away any marine creatures that were ever in that pond because of your stupidly ironic actions.
MARIO:(ignores Luigi and continues to sing/chant)
LUIGI:(sarcastically)You know what? If you really want to join the marine people that much why don't you ask the king to give me an all-you-can-eat fish supply whilst you're at it!(walks away)
Mario suddenly stops his messed up singing and stands completely still for several seconds before screaming the word fish seven times and thrusting his hands towards the pond. Twenty seconds later nothing happens. Mario still stands there expectantly, as if waiting for fish to magically start spewing from the water.
LUIGI:(turns around) Well are you coming or not?
Silence
LUIGI: I can't believe someone as intelligent as me can possibly be related to this retard...
MARIO: COME ALL YE PEOPLE OF THE FISH AND GRANT ME WITH THY WONDROUS POWERS!
Awkward silence.
MARIO: Ah, screw it. Lets go home Weegee!
LUIGI: Wait, what? Thats it!?
MARIO: Yeah, I'm sure those toads were just lying. Though I guess we can stay a bit longer since the best way to call them is by assembling all thirty of the lost jewels of Darklands around said water source and link hands around it in a circle and spend thirty-two and a half hours reciting all the ancient scribes of the lost marine cit-
LUIGI: You know what, home looks good for now.
MARIO: YAY! Hey Weegee, when we get home can you make me some hot chocolate please! I'm freezing!
LUIGI: One: The answers no! Two: You're the reason why we're suffering out here for no reason whatsoever! And Three: If you want a slave, go ask Yoshi!
MARIO: PLEEEEEEAAASSSE?! It'll make up for you calling me a retard!
LUIGI: You heard that!?
MARIO: Yup! And all I have to do is dial that number and mum will come over here and grab you by the ear and throw you down a non-existent flight of stairs for insulting her son! And the best thing is, mum will completely disown you and never acknowledge you FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
LUIGI:(scared as hell) FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?
MARIO:(hauntingly)FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
LUIGI: Did I ever tell you that your my favourite brother in the world and I'll do absolutely anything for you?
MARIO: No, but that's nice to know! Oh and whilst you're at it, can you make me a spicy sausage sandwich!
LUIGI: Sure!
MARIO: And a burrito!
LUIGI: Sure!
MARIO: And some samosas!
LUIGI: Uh, sure!
MARIO: And some lasagna!
LUIGI:(teeth gritting) Sure!
MARIO: And some garlic bread!
LUIGI: You know what, why don't we just get takeaway tonight.I'll pay and I'll STILL make the hot chocolate. Sound good?
MARIO: Yup! As long as I can have my usual variety of twenty pizzas I'm good!(skips towards house)
LUIGI: Oh jeeze I forgot about that...
Mario and Luigi finally make it home, relax, order pizza and all is well... Apart from the fact that Luigi has now developed a serious case of Influenza. But it's his fault for not eating enough veggies when he was younger for building up his immune system anyways! DONT LISTEN TO WHAT THEY SAY KIDS, BROCCOLI IS NOT A TYPE OF FUNGUS!
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 A/N: I hope you guys all enjoyed! Leave a comment and if you want to suggest a theme/title for a one-shot don't hesitate to tell me! Next chapter should be up either tomorrow or later today. Laters! ~cooltiger
