Author's Note: This is the long-ago promised follow-up to "A Far Better Rest," though you shouldn't need to read that first for this to make sense. It was written for Seblaine Appreciation Weekend on Tumblr, of which I was one of the organizers. Apparently I'm incapable of writing anything without angst, so… sorry? Story title, of course, comes from A Tale of Two Cities.
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.
A Far Better Thing
The Dalton stairwell burst into cheers as Kurt accepted Blaine's proposal. In a karmic slap in the face, Sebastian had ended up at the bottom of the stairs next to Blaine's McKinley friends and Hummel's father, which afforded him the perfect view of Hummel's awestruck face as he listened to Blaine's grandiose proposal. He clenched his jaw as Blaine surged forward to kiss his new fiancé and forced himself to applaud alongside everyone else.
But as Blaine and Kurt started accepting well wishes from their friends, Sebastian was unable to take any more of the nauseating display, so ducked out of the stairwell. He let his feet steer him away from the celebration, the echoing noise dying down as he made his way down the deserted halls. He stopped in front of the library and, after only a moment's hesitation, walked into the empty room.
Sebastian slowly walked the perimeter of the room, remembering. He'd first heard the name Blaine Anderson in this room during his first Warbler rehearsal as the returning members had bemoaned the loss of their vaunted soloist, and it was then he'd first become fascinated with the idea of Blaine—of claiming a Warbler legend as a conquest on his way to the top of the group
He'd first met Blaine in this room a month later when the prodigal son had returned to visit his old friends. Sebastian had immediately been drawn to the beautiful boy leaning against the doorway, whose clothes were painfully out of place but expression full of longing. And when they'd gotten coffee later, Sebastian came to realize that he genuinely liked Blaine, with his disarming sweetness and dry wit. He hadn't known it then, but he'd been a lost cause by the end of that first day.
Sebastian flopped down on the couch, melting back against the cushions and throwing an arm over his eyes. The last few days had been exhausting in so many ways. But, he supposed, that was the price of his actions—the steep cost of all the hurt he'd caused the boy he cared about.
The sound of doors creaking open had Sebastian opening his eyes again. Then there was a soft huff and a familiar voice that made Sebastian's insides twist.
"I thought I might find you here."
Sebastian pulled the arm from his face and frowned up at the ceiling. The library was bathed in the pale light of dusk; it had been mid-afternoon when he'd fled from the celebration so he must've fallen asleep. He turned his head to see Blaine standing between the open library doors. He'd lost the mustard yellow jacket at some point so was slightly less blinding to look at.
Sebastian sighed and sat up. "Shouldn't you be with your fiancé?" he asked before belatedly adding, "Congratulations, by the way."
Blaine's smile was small—smaller than it should've been after just getting engaged—as he crossed the room and sat down next to Sebastian on the couch. He put his hands in his lap and kept a respectable distance between them, but the air still felt charged, as it always did when they were together.
"I'm meeting him at Breadstix in a little while," Blaine replied, looking straight ahead. "Some of our friends are throwing a party."
Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "And you want me to come, smile at the happy couple?"
But Blaine surprised him by shaking his head. "Some of the Warblers are coming, but no."
Sebastian wasn't sure whether to be offended or relieved. "No?"
Blaine shifted to look at Sebastian, his expression disgustingly understanding. Sebastian felt a sudden surge of anger at the thought.
"I wouldn't ask you to do that," Blaine said.
"Good," Sebastian snapped, pushing himself to his feet. He felt a wave of satisfaction as Blaine's expression morphed into one of surprise—and maybe a little hurt. "Because I think you've asked enough already, Killer."
"Sebastian—"
But Sebastian suddenly couldn't keep still; all the nervous energy he'd been channeling into helping Blaine set up his ridiculous proposal for the last several days had nowhere to go now. He had an itch just beneath his skin and a sour taste in his mouth as he paced the library, Blaine watching on.
"He asked if it was you," Blaine said suddenly.
The odd affect to his voice made Sebastian pause. He turned back to Blaine with a frown. "What?"
"When I confessed to cheating," Blaine clarified with an unreadable look. "Kurt asked if it was with you. The first words out of his mouth, in fact."
Sebastian swallowed, wondering what Blaine was expecting him to take from that. Blaine had told him about the breakup a few months earlier after they'd reconnected and started rebuilding their friendship after his near miss returning to Dalton, but this was new information. Telling him now almost seemed cruel, but Blaine wasn't that kind of person. Not on purpose, anyway.
"Blaine," he managed to choke out in response, only a little embarrassed at how pleading his voice sounded.
"I think he always knew," Blaine went on as though he hadn't just blindsided Sebastian. "That there was something here. Between us."
"So why wasn't it me?" It was something Sebastian had wondered since Blaine had told him the story after Sectionals, but he'd never been able to bring himself to ask. He wasn't sure he actually wanted the answer.
Blaine rose and took a few steps toward Sebastian. "Because there was something here," he said. Sebastian noted the deliberate use of past tense, though it was belied by the look in Blaine's eye. "And that—"
Blaine bit his lips and glanced away. But when he looked up again, his expression was determined. "Because there was something here," he repeated more firmly, "but nothing we might have done would have been about us."
That stung, as Sebastian remembered a night back in December when he'd coaxed a heartbroken Blaine back to Dalton for a movie night. Blaine had fallen asleep in the middle of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and Sebastian remembered how struck he'd been by the trust that had implied.
But Blaine had only come back to Dalton that night because Kurt had just canceled their Christmas plans and he was hurting. All roads led back to Hummel.
Sebastian snorted. "Right."
"Sebastian—"
"Don't you have a party to get to?" Sebastian said, cutting Blaine off. He couldn't bear to look at that stupidly earnest expression on Blaine's face anymore.
"It can wait. This is more important."
Sebastian scoffed. "Of course. The feelings of the guy who nearly blinded you are more important than your new fiancé." He shook his head, lip curling up in a sneer. "I don't need pity, least of all from you, Anderson."
Blaine recoiled, stricken. "It's not pity," he said quietly.
"Go be with your fiancé, Blaine," Sebastian replied, this time more gently.
He fixed his gaze on the far wall, though he could feel Blaine's eyes on him as the seconds stretched on. But finally Blaine took in a shuddering breath and walked past Sebastian, their shoulders brushing momentarily. Sebastian shut his eyes, waiting for him to leave.
"Thank you, Bas. For all that you did. It means more than I can ever say."
Sebastian remained silent. Moments later the library doors shut again, echoing with finality.
Two years later
Sebastian looked up from his laptop at a knock at his door. He frowned, glancing at the clock—it was nearly midnight and he wasn't expecting anyone. He saved his half-finished paper and shut his laptop before heading to the door. His eyes widened as he looked through the peephole; there was no way—
But Blaine stood on the other side of the door when Sebastian pulled it open. He looked up and Sebastian inhaled sharply. He hadn't seen Blaine since the day of the proposal, the resounding sound of library doors shutting stopping him every time he thought about calling. They'd exchanged texts and Facebook messages in the in between, but it was all very impersonal. He knew more about Blaine's life from updates from former Warblers than from Blaine himself.
A week earlier, Sebastian had received a save-the-date for the Anderson-Hummel wedding, which was set for the winter, addressed to his New York apartment in Blaine's familiar scrawl. He'd tossed it in the trash with a pang.
"Blaine," Sebastian greeted belatedly, once he was sure he wasn't seeing things.
Blaine let out a ragged breath before saying, "It's over. The wedding's off." His voice was hoarse, either from yelling or—judging from the red of his eyes—crying.
"What?" Sebastian asked dumbly, not sure he'd heard correctly. Blaine opened his mouth but Sebastian shook his head as the situation really registered and stepped aside. "The hallway's probably not the best place for this conversation, Killer."
Blaine swallowed and nodded, stepping inside the apartment. Sebastian shut the door then turned around to see Blaine standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room of Sebastian's one bedroom apartment. He was looking everywhere but Sebastian at the moment, so Sebastian took the opportunity to study him. His clothes were unkempt, as though he'd thrown something on in a hurry. He had some flyaway curls poking out from his gel and circles under his eyes.
He looked tired. And sick.
"What happened?" Sebastian asked finally, wondering what had brought Blaine here, of all places, after apparently breaking off his engagement. He had other, much closer friends in the city. Yet here he was.
"The wedding's off," Blaine repeated, looking up.
"Yes, I got that much."
For a moment, Blaine just stared at Sebastian. Then he rolled his eyes and Sebastian let out a relieved breath at the first remotely Blaine expression since his arrival. Sebastian didn't do well with upset people—he'd often been the one causing upset in the past, after all—or feelings in general. But Blaine was, and probably always would be, his exception, no matter how long they went without seeing each other.
"I don't want to talk about it," Blaine said, a strange look crossing his face.
"Then what—"
But Sebastian was interrupted by Blaine surging forward to kiss him. Sebastian's hands instinctively went to Blaine's hips as Blaine pressed up to deepen the kiss. His surprise quickly wearing off, Sebastian bit down lightly on Blaine's lip before soothing it over with his tongue. Blaine moaned into his mouth, and Sebastian shuddered before reaching down to grab Blaine's ass. He was quickly getting hard as Blaine's breath hitched and he started pulling at the bottom of Sebastian's t-shirt.
It took everything Sebastian had in the moment to pull back—to pull back from what he'd wanted for so damn long—to look at Blaine, with his kiss swollen lips and dark pupils.
"What?" Blaine asked, slightly breathless.
"Are you sure?" Sebastian asked. There were so many ways this could be a terrible idea...
"Yes," Blaine said emphatically before pulling Sebastian in for another kiss.
But Sebastian was no stranger to terrible ideas.
And he also knew a thing or two about trying to forget, about fucking away the pain, so he raised his arms so Blaine could pull his shirt over his head before groping for the half-done buttons on Blaine's shirt. He kissed down Blaine's neck to suck just below his ear. Blaine inhaled sharply, and Sebastian smirked into his skin as he finished unbuttoning the shirt and slid it off Blaine's shoulders.
"Bedroom," he murmured into Blaine's ear.
Blaine shuddered and allowed himself to be walked backward through the living room into the bedroom, hands sliding up and down the bare skin of Sebastian's sides and teasing just below the waistband of his sweatpants. Sebastian made quick work of Blaine's belt, and Blaine was shucking his jeans and briefs as Sebastian crowded him back against the bed. Blaine lay back on the bed and scooted back, legs falling open in invitation, his cock hard. Sebastian swallowed hard before pulling off his sweats before crawling onto the bed, moving to kiss Blaine again.
Sebastian was tracing the skin of Blaine's stomach with a finger when he realized that Blaine was trembling. He pulled away to look at Blaine—gorgeous Blaine, more beautiful than anyone had any right to be and there with him. If Blaine wanted to forget, then Sebastian would make him forget, at least for a few hours.
"Hey," he said, "I got you."
"Sebastian—"
"Just you and me right here, Blaine. Nothing else." He laid his hand flat on Blaine's stomach. "No one else."
Blaine's Adam's apple bobbed as hurt and what might have even been a little fear flashed across his face, but then his expression softened and he nodded.
"Just you and me," he agreed, relaxing.
Sebastian's breath caught at the absolute trust Blaine was clearly putting in him, then took Blaine in hand. Blaine's eyes fluttered shut.
"I got you," Sebastian repeated.
Sebastian woke slowly. His entire body felt loose and warm and he was ready to melt back into the mattress when the warmth of another body close by brought him into full wakefulness. He opened his eyes and blinked before relaxing again. Early morning light drifted in through a gap in Sebastian's curtains, and Blaine lay facing him, his lashes fanned across his cheeks and his hair a wreck of curls that had broken free from gel. His breathing was still even in sleep, and Sebastian's lips curled up in a smile.
That had happened.
He couldn't help but watch Blaine as he slept, wondering at how anyone could ever let him go. If Hummel didn't fight to get Blaine back, then he was an even bigger idiot than Sebastian thought who didn't deserve Blaine.
"We'd been on the rocks for a while," a gravelly voice said, pulling Sebastian from his reverie. He blinked and realized that Blaine was watching him through those criminally long lashes.
"What?"
"Kurt and I," Blaine clarified.
"You don't have to tell me," Sebastian said, though he was curious. Blaine had gotten a temporary reprieve the night before, but he couldn't put dealing with whatever had happened off forever. And if he trusted Sebastian with last night…
"It's okay," Blaine said, taking a breath to collect himself. "It started with arguments over small stuff. Things you expect when you move in with someone, like laundry and groceries. But those resolved pretty quickly."
Blaine ran an absent hand over the sheets. "But then we both started spending more time at school for projects or rehearsal. He got jealous of certain people I was spending time with, and after what happened senior year, I was insecure about certain people he was spending time with."
Blaine shook his head and rolled onto his back. He folded his hands on top of his chest. Sebastian propped himself up on an elbow to see the pained look on Blaine's face as he stared up at the ceiling.
"Little things just kept piling up and festering, so pretty soon we were arguing as soon as one of us walked through the door and it wouldn't end for weeks." His expression turned wry. "This was really only a matter of time."
"Blaine—" Though Sebastian wasn't really sure what to say after that.
"I think we both thought that if we set a date and sent out invitations, all of that would just fall away," Blaine continued, ignoring the interruption, and Sebastian remembered the card sitting in his trash. "After all, who has time for petty jealousy when there's a wedding to plan?" He let out a humorless laugh. "But that was naïve."
Sebastian had never heard Blaine sound so bleak—or bitter. He could still see Blaine on the day he proposed to Hummel in his mind's eye, with the bright yellow suit and even brighter smile as he led his soon-to-be fiancé through the halls of Dalton. It was jarring, seeing him so downtrodden now.
"But I don't think…" Blaine trailed off, biting his lip. "I don't think he ever quite got past the fact that I turned down NYADA for Tisch. It wasn't part of his grand plan. But then again," Blaine said, glancing at Sebastian before looking back up at the ceiling, "neither was me cheating, so maybe we were doomed from the start."
Sebastian frowned, but he doubted his opinions on Hummel and how he treated Blaine would be particularly welcome right now, so he asked instead, "So what happened last night?"
Blaine pressed his lips together then rolled out of bed. Sebastian only had a moment to enjoy the view before Blaine was pulling on his discarded pants and disappearing into the living room. Before Sebastian could wonder if he'd scared Blaine off, Blaine was back with his phone in hand. He scrolled through something as he sat back down on the edge of the bed.
"Kurt found this in my phone," he said, hesitating a moment before handing his phone over.
Sebastian sat up, the blanket pooling around his waist as he took Blaine's phone. He nearly dropped it in surprise at the picture that greeted him. A younger Sebastian was curled up behind Blaine; they were both fast asleep. Sebastian's arm was thrown over Blaine's waist while Blaine gripped his arm loosely. Sebastian's other arm rested underneath the curve of Blaine's neck and their socked feet were tangled together.
But what struck Sebastian hardest was the looks on their faces—they looked so relaxed, at peace.
Sebastian remembered that night with painful clarity. But he'd never seen the picture. He stared at it as Blaine spoke, his voice sounding far away.
"Nick took that picture the night I fell asleep in your room watching a movie."
"Ferris Bueller's Day Off," Sebastian supplied. He wasn't sure when he'd fallen asleep, but he remembered waking up and scrambling to untangle himself from Blaine when he realized the position they were in. "I ran into you at Starbucks."
"Kurt had just canceled our Christmas plans. But you wouldn't let me wallow."
"Never," Sebastian agreed, tearing his eyes away from the picture to see a soft expression on Blaine's face as he looked at the phone in Sebastian's hand.
"I didn't even remember having it," Blaine said. "But Kurt was looking through some of my pictures, I don't even know for what." Blaine swallowed. "And he's always been insecure about you."
"He asked if it was you."
"What?"
"When I confessed to cheating. Kurt asked if it was with you. The first words out of his mouth, in fact."
"Blaine."
"I think he always knew. That there was something here. Between us."
Sebastian frowned. "As much as I'm not sorry the fairy tale wedding's off, Blaine, I don't want to be the reason you guys broke up." The words felt strange on his tongue, but he was more surprised to realize they were true. If Blaine wanted him, it should be be because Blaine wanted him, not as backup or safety net.
Blaine shook his head. "It's not your fault. And if Kurt hadn't found this, it would've been something else." He grabbed his phone and looked at the picture again. "Maybe I saved it hoping he'd find it. I don't know."
Sebastian's stomach turned at that. The thought made him feel used—and not in the fun way. "And last night?"
Blaine frowned at him. "What do you mean?"
"Why did you come here? To rub some salt in the wound?"
Blaine's eyes widened, hurt visible on his face. "I— God Bas, no."
"You told me once that nothing we ever did would have been about us," Sebastian said, clenching his jaw. "And as fantastic as last night was, I'm not going to play second fiddle to Hummel even after you two have split."
Blaine reached for his hand, but Sebastian pulled back. "That's not—That's not why I came here."
"Then why? We haven't seen each other in two years, Killer." And it wasn't like Blaine would have to look very far to find someone to help him forget for the night. Coming to Sebastian had been deliberate.
Blaine swallowed. "After…" He hesitated, looking down at his lap. "Well, Kurt and I always knew what to say to hurt each other the worst. I felt like my heart had been pulled out of my chest," he said. "Like it had been stomped on and then put back in. And then I looked at that picture again and I remembered that night. I remembered how hurt I was that he'd canceled our plans. How it felt like I'd be paying for my mistake forever."
Blaine looked up at Sebastian, expression painfully open. "And I remembered how safe I felt when I woke up in your arms, just for those few seconds." Blaine took a shaky breath. "I wanted safe, Bas. That's why I came here."
It took Sebastian a long moment to register those words, to make sure he wasn't just imagining it. But Blaine was still looking at him with those big doe eyes that Sebastian had never been able to deny, and his lips twitched up.
"I'm sure it didn't hurt that I can't stand Kurt."
Blaine let out a startled laugh and Sebastian pulled him back into bed, rolling them so he was straddling Blaine's waist. He pinned Blaine's hands above his head while Blaine looked up at him with more trust than Sebastian knew what to do with.
"Safe, huh?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Safe," Blaine confirmed. He was smiling, but the expression didn't quite reach his eyes.
Blaine might have fallen apart, but Sebastian knew a thing or two about knitting pieces back together.
"Mm," he hummed, ducking down to kiss Blaine. "Let's keep that between us. I have a reputation to uphold."
fin
