A/N: Hi there! This is the first of three chapters in this series. Hope you'll enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Henry Danger.
Most people consider her to be a 'hot nurse'.
Nurse Cohort however doesn't think that she's all that. She has her days when she looks in the mirror and absolutely loves herself. Some days however -though they are few in number- she wants to change a lot about herself. Just for the sake of change.
And because it would get someone's attention.
Someone, who at the moment is sitting at the table in their (temporary) secret lair, brooding.
Or as he calls it: thinking.
She knows that it's brooding though. A woman is always right (okay not really, but in this case she is!). Especially if said woman is the assistant to said man. And especially since said man is an evil genius who likes to act as if he's always right although it is written clear as day on his face that he knows that she's right but does not want to admit it.
But anyways.
She sighs as she stares at him from her position on the couch. She had turned the (stolen) TV on a few hours ago, connecting it to her PearPad so as to catch up with the episodes she had missed while they had been in jail (yes, villains also watch TV like everyone else. Cause, Walking Orange people!).
Dr. Minyak wasn't really interested in catching up with any of their favorite TV shows. After he had busted her out of jail, he had hurriedly told her that he was going to work on another evil plan. So it didn't really surprise her that when they got to one of their lairs, he immediately set out to work at the table in the living room.
She had walked around, checking if everything was as good as when they had last been here. This one lair was an actual house. Two story's, two bedrooms (with stolen beds), one bathroom, and a backyard. To keep nosy people away, they had put signs at the front of the house, warning about deadly chemicals.
They actually have dozens of abandoned houses, factories and two houses bought under fake names that they could use every time they had to bust out of jail after their plans have undoubtedly been foiled by Captain Man and Kid Danger. Every one of them contained plumbing, electricity and internet. Not all contained a bedroom for each of them ( she really doesn't mind that though. She really doesn't). Or a kitchen with actual cupboards. So this was one of the best ones. She should be enjoying it. She should enjoy being able to sit here on a cozy couch-one of the few things that they had acquired in a legal manner- and watch TV.
Except, she's not enjoying herself. She's been glancing at her partner in crime since the show had started. She has seen him draw something on a blueprint, only to promptly crumple it up and throw it down half an hour later. Two hours later there were five crumpled blueprints on the floor.
She had given him another hour before he would start cursing and probably banging his head against the table in frustration.
But apparently today he had the drive to continue working on his plans for more time than usual.
So here she sat, five hours later, 'watching' TV while he absolutely ignored her. And she hates that she herself keeps looking up at him every few minutes, memorizing the way his face scrunches up and how he runs one hand through his hair (which had grown a bit, she notes) and mumbles things under his breath.
But okay, she's getting of track here. Back to the problem of her wanting to change herself.
The problem stems from the fact that she has had the biggest crush on this man for such a long time and he just does not seem to feel the same way about her.
It irked her.
Now let her tell you, it had not been love at first sight. It was a gradual thing.
When they had started working together, he was an actual physician at a hospital. He had been handsome in a weird kind of way, as a lot of nurses had commented. Nice hair, quirky smile, tall, and that slight drawl he spoke with was quite sexy. He was also smart. Really smart. So smart that he thought about doing things his own way. He developed his own inventions as a form of helping his patients. The hospital didn't allow it. It wasn't ethical they said. Later he would tell her that he had felt like they were holding him back. And to vent out his frustration, he had started creating things. Things, that he found out, were really useful to villains. Later they would find out that they were also useful to heroes but he had already chosen his path by then. He had found his true calling. He found something where he could turn any idea, any design into reality without anyone telling him that he wasn't t allowed to do that. Except of course the heroes, law enforcement and the government agencies. But who cares about them! Finally he could use his creative mind without any limits. And so he turned to the side of evil.
She had been a nurse at said hospital but she had a background in villainy. Her parents and grandparents had all been great villains back in the day and they had taught her everything she knows. She had thought for years that maybe she wasn't vicious enough to be a villain. Which is why she just ended up in Nursery. It had its days. However she knew that she was missing something. And when she heard about the resident turned villain, she had offered him her assistance. He didn't readily accept her offer until she pointed out all the stuff that an assistant could help him with. And so after much debating, they formed a partnership.
She stayed through thick and thin, they established a reputation pretty quickly among the community of villains. And for the first time in years, she didn't feel like there was something missing from her life.
Her family would have been proud.
And gradually, as the years went by and they got older and they've got to know eachother even better, she fell in love with him. He was a really wonderful man. She bets other women would have thought so too if he wasn't evil. He was polite. He would pull out her chair for her when they went to villain friendly restaurants (yups, they exist. It's like the places where the mafia bosses and their goons eat) or when they had meetings with other villains. He opened doors for her and guided her around with a hand at the small of her back when she was too busy reading something or even talking to be able to coordinate her own body in the right direction. When he smiles, his whole face lights up. He has a twistedly good sense of humor. He was so tall. He was so smart.
And he was so not interested.
She had come up with different reasons over the years as to why he wasn't interested in her.
First she had thought that he was too busy for a romantic relationship. Which was very plausible.
She had also thought that maybe he was gay. Which later she figured out was impossible, what with his past relationships and- most importantly- based on some…shady internet history she had found on one of their devices once ( and no, she was definitely not the one who visited said shady internet page). There was also the matter of some…questionable magazines that she had found hidden in their lair once (she couldn't even look him in the eyes when he came back 'home' that day). Based on said evidence, she concluded that there was a high probability that he was not gay or even asexual.
Or maybe, he plain wasn't interested in her. Which could be the painful truth.
And as she said, she knew that a lot of people found her pretty. Kid Danger himself had called her hot. But maybe she wasn't the type of hot that the object of her affections cared for. It wasn't because she wasn't smart, she knew that. She was after all the one that helped him with his plans and who pointed out possible flaws.
So, yes, maybe she really wasn't his type of woman.
So what was his type of woman? She had asked herself when she came to this conclusion. She had seriously considered going through his browser history or magazines to find out.
She had of course decided against that.
So she had went with the next best thing.
Look at what type of woman he looked at when they were walking on the street (in disguise of course).
Except, his eyes never wandered or lingered. There was nothing to go off on. He mostly seemed to look down and slightly to her side most of the time. She thought that this was his way of trying to keep a low profile. If no one saw his face they wouldn't get thrown in jail. But every time, he would look up after a short while, face slightly red. She didn't think that this observation was important for what she wanted to find out though, so she dismissed it.
But it was irritating her that his mannerism didn't even give her a clue about the type of woman he liked. What was wrong with this man?
She seriously started thinking about leaving behind this infatuation and moving on. It seemed like a lost cause.
Except, where would she start?
It's not like she can just date anyone out there. She's the assistant to a super villain for cheese sake. She can't just walk around in the city as if everything was fine -even if she wasn't helping with the concoction of an evil plan- let alone go on a date. Plus, she's supposed to be in jail.
So here she was, sitting and pinning after a man who did not even give her more than a normal, non-lingering, non-romantic look a day.
She found it kind of pathetic.
By the second week of basically being hauled up in the secret lair and him not even trying to take some time to talk to her -besides the times when they discussed their plans- she had had enough.
That's it! I don't care what it takes, but I am going to go out and have some fun. She thinks. And so as not to chicken out, she takes her PearPad to look up some dating websites, hoping to be able to subscribe to one.
She types in 'dating for villains'.
And low and behold, there is such a thing.
She almost laughs at the absurdity. She clicks on the link, then clicks on 'about' to read the description.
"Welcome to villainsdatingvillains! The number one ( actually, the only) dating site for villains! This site was developed by two -now happily in love- villains who know firsthand how hard it is for one to find love when they commit themselves to villainy. Compared to other people, we cannot just date anyone out there. We need to make sure that they are okay with our choice of profession, if they are not a hero in disguise, if they are not a member of some secret agency and so much more. But through experience (and common sense) we know that it is easier for villains to date, well, other villains. You would have much more in common and would probably accept one another's occupations way more easily than the average citizen. So we have developed this absolutely secure site for you villains out there that are looking for love! (it's encrypted and we guarantee that no one can hack it. Go on, try it! We dare you.).
Becoming a member is easy. All we need is your name ( the one you received at birth or if you prefer, your villain name), city of residence, e-mail (we know yours is probably secure and encrypted which is wonderful for your own security and peace of mind), sexual preference, and occupation ( mastermind, assistant, goon, petty burglar). We also require everyone to take a psychological test that is really accurate in weeding out the fakers and the crazies with villain fetishes. We do not work with personality tests however, because we believe that a connection between two people can only be 'felt' once they meet eachother ( you know the old saying: Don't judge a book by its cover).
We will also do an independent background check on you before you can become a member. This will not take long. You will receive an e-mail within five days, either confirming or rejecting your request for membership. If it has been confirmed, you need only follow the instructions in the mail, et voila, you are a member. After following said steps, you will get a list that's divided in three parts. One contains those villains that are active in or near your own city, another contains those in cities that are further away and the third one consists of those that are in other countries, just in case you want to and/or can be a little adventurous. From there on, you choose who you want to meet up with. We can also recommend you villain friendly restaurants, bars etc. in each city. We are hopeful that you will find someone out there that you love, who loves you, makes you love yourself and makes you want to be a better villain (That was a mouthful!).
So come on, join! We're sure you won't regret it!
Sincerely hoping you'll find love with us,
The Whisker and Temptress."
She chortles. Temptress and The whisker? Two of the most awesome villains ever? It had been years since anyone had heard from them. They basically governed the media during her childhood. Temptress with her good looks, basically hypnotizing heroes and law enforcement alike. And The Whisker with his power to basically whisk in like a tornado (which also earned him the nickname Tornado), get everything that they wanted, before the two disappeared without a trace. They had been two of her idols. When she was a teen she had heard that they had settled down together in some remote location. That's about all information she had on them. But apparently, they were the cupids for villains now. She giggles at the thought.
After making sure that the site's secure, she pulls up the form that needs to be filled in but hesitates, her resolve wavering.
Is this a good idea? She asked herself. She looks up.
There at the table, not even giving her a cursory glance, was the man that was the reason why she was doing this in the first place.
He had a hand in his hair. A full head of hair because apparently he was self-conscious enough to have invented a hair growth serum.
And yet he has no time to even look at me.
She stares at him for a while.
Look at me. She thinks. Just look up at me once and I will stop this whole thing.
She sits there for five minutes just staring at him.
By the end of the night, all forms had been filled and submitted.
Tbc.
A/N: And that's the end of chapter one. Two more to go. Thank you for reading!
