DEAR JACOB

A/N: I do not own any of the characters, they belong to Twilight.

"Why did you guys break up?"

She laughed, almost painfully. "One day he loved me and the next he didn't. Strange isn't it? How fast someone's feelings can change and then there's nothing you can do but accept it. You have to sit and accept the fact that you're completely in love with someone who doesn't even give a shit whether you come or go and frankly they would rather it if you didn't come at all. And that sucks."

Dear Jacob,

Your drunken words keep playing in my head over and over again like a broken record. "Please don't go, I love you." You probably don't even remember saying them to me or much of that night.

I had gone to pick you up the Friday after my birthday and you were at home on your couch shirtless and reeking of beer. You had said something to piss me off so I grabbed my keys and got up to leave and you grabbed me by my arms and pulled me back down on the couch and said, "Please don't go, I love you."

You shattered my heart then because it was at that point that I realized you didn't truly love me. And what's worse is you even told me so. I told you to not say that if you didn't mean it. You acted offended that I even said that as I tried to hold back my tears. You held on tighter as I struggled to leave and said, "But I do love you, just not how you love me."

I begged you to let me gom that you were holding on too tight and it made you mad.

"You can leave if you want, there's the front door. I'm not going to stop you, but you need to know that I need to be right with myself before I can be right with you because I want to be right with you."

At this point you're holding my face in your hands and tears are going down both our faces.

"You keep me sane and you're so beautiful and smart and your daughter is just like you. Anyone would be lucky to have the two of you. You guys are the most important people in my life and I don't want to lose you."

Writing these words down is making this so much worse. My chest hurts with the burden of pain you've caused and it's getting harder to read the words that I'm writing. I held on to them tightly. I held on to your drunken promises because I wanted so badly to believe them. I was that sad, desperate little girl who wanted nothing more than to be loved because if her family didn't love her, who did? So many people have let her down, over and over again, that she allowed herself to trust the people she loved even when she shouldn't have.

You began to push me on to other people and disregarded my feelings for you, always laughing in my face when I kept telling you that I loved you. You didn't seem to care how your words stung, how you repeatedly slapped me in the face with them.

Other men would hit on me when we would go out and your immediate response was to step away from me and say, "We're just friends. I don't care if you hit on her, go ahead."

You treated me like a piece of meat that was up for grabs, and I should have walked away from you right then and there after you humiliated and degraded me and laughed it off like it was no big deal.

Now I'm in my bed sobbing, the pain is just too overwhelming. I just want to know why? Why did you do this to me?