CHAPTER 1: Phoenix Lamented

Harry was sitting on his bed, gazing absentmindedly outside the window, lazily flipping through the pages of advanced defensive magic without really looking at them. he saw an owl coming towards his window, he had been expecting that for a long time and when the owl delivered the letter he was confirmed. The envelope bearing the crest with an H and of course the lion, serpent, otter and raven around it. The letter was from Hogwarts, which until now, he reflected sadly, had been his home. he didn't need to open the envelope. He knew it contained a booklist and the usual reminder of the date of return to Hogwarts.

He couldn't bring himself to open it not just because those books had no meaning anymore but also because he knew he couldn't bear to see the signature on the bottom of the letter. for six years that signature had belonged to Professor Albus Dumbledore and he didn't want to see another one in its place

'professor Dumbledore', whenever he heard that name he felt himself falling into an endless black hole, into emptiness.

he fought back the urge to scream and instead directed his thoughts to the past week

he had come to his uncle and aunt's house for what he knew was the final time. his uncle hadn't bothered to come to the station, and Harry was more than pleased at this. but when he entered the house his uncle had seen his face and such was the sadness upon it that his uncle's curiosity rose and he asked, 'what's the matter with you boy? he sneered 'expelled, are you?'

Harry ignored him but he met his aunt on the stairs and supposed he should tell her, after all she did know Dumbledore.

'Professor Dumbledore's dead' he said and carried on climbing the stairs when uncle Vernon's voice pierced through him,

'that Wacky old loon who came here last year?' he asked casually, Harry's insides burned with anger and he shouted,'

SHUT UP' before he could stop himself earning him a shouting lecture from his uncle for half an hour.

Hermione and Ron both had written to him the next day. hermione telling him about books she had read on self-defense and Ron telling him the date of Bill and Fleur's wedding. they both didn't mention Dumbledore much but just gave him advices like 'don't worry, we'll always be there for you' and 'what's happened can't be changed, so think about the future'

not that these words made much of a difference but he had accepted Dumbledore's death as he had been forced to accept his parents' and sirius' death. he was very grateful to his friends as he needed them both at this time. he hadn't forgotten about his plan but felt that he would set out after the wedding, it might ease his pain a bit and he needed to talk face to face with Ron and Hermione.

so here he was a week later in his aunt's house sending the letter from Hogwarts back. he didn't know if he would ever see the school again but he also thought that it would never be the same again.

as soon as he had sent the letter back another one arrived. it was from Ron;

Dear Harry,

just sent back Hogwarts' letter. I told mum yesterday and she didn't mind that much. of course I didn't tell her why but she's a bit changed to tell you the truth. Hermione just wrote to me, don't even ask, she had to send back her Head Girl badge. I hope she's not too sad. mum's going ballistic about the wedding, say's we'll never arrange everything in time. be glad you're not here or even 'the chosen one' would be working so hard he'll forget all about you-know-who. how're you planning to get here? dad says the night bus isn't safe anymore so he'll figure out a way for you. Hermione's coming the day after tomorrow. see you next week.

Ron.

Harry hadn't thought about how he would explain to everyone why he wasn't going back to Hogwarts but he thought that they would probably know. and anyways he wasn't sure most students would be coming back. parents were now more worried than ever and seeing all that had happened Harry couldn't blame them.

the next day Harry woke up very early, it was still dark outside. he slumped back onto the bed but couldn't sleep so he put on his glasses and checked the time, it was four thirty. he didn't have much to do mowadays and he spent most of his time trying to learn new spells and defence techniques. but it wasn't much use if he couldn't actually cast the spell. he would be of age in about ten days and he couldn't wait. he still had to clear his apparition test which hermione had already done and which Ron was going to take with Harry.

Harry just laid around till noon, then after lunch he decided to have a walk outside. as Harry walked around the neighbor he looked at all the well kept lawns and the houses and wondered whether he would ever think of them again when he was gone. Dumbledore always used to say to Harry that he was greatly interested in the muggle world but Harry, who had had the company of muggles like the Dursleys all his life, couldn't really see dumbledore's point. had Harry been in a family who cared for him, he might have thought otherwise but because of the dursleys he greatly resented the muggle world.

Harry couldn't wait to be on his way to the burrow but he had to wait a few days for it. the park was empty, like it mostly was in such hot weather, but Harry didn't want to be alone right now. he wanted to be with his friends. he couldn't stand the burden alone, he couldn't think or plan or surmise the future without Ron or Hermione. he knew that in the end he would have to be alone, he was the one who was going to defeat Voldemort although right now he didn't know where to begin and had turned to reading DADA books to improve his skills but he couldn't, like Hermione, just read the theory and learn the spells without practical work. he sighed and then was surprised to find that he was sitting on a park bench though he couldn't remember sitting.

Harry reached into his pocket and held his wand tightly, for some reason whenever he did this it gave him a surge of hope and strength he couldn't describe. suddenly up in the sky he ehard a flap of wings and saw an owl soaring towards him, the owl dropped a letter in his lap and without stopping flew off. Harry recognized the writing and opened the letter:

Dear Harry,

how are you? Ron told me that he had sent you a letter yesterday but I had to write to you on my own. first of all, Ginny wrote to me a few days ago and asked me to ask you about how you're doing. we're good friends and being a girl I can understand her situation, she's not very upset and she like all of us agrees that you will live through all of it (Harry knew 'it' was the task ahaead of them and smiled in spite of himself).I know not going back to Hogwarts is very upsetting as I am a muggle-born and Hogwarts was and is my life but I feel that there are some things worth sacrificing. you must be feeling lonely these days (Harry mused at how hermione could predict one's thoughts even at such a distance).but don't worry it's just a few days. i've never attended a wizard marriage before and I'm really looking forward to it. I wanted to tell you something very important but I can't in a letter so you'll have to wait but its really important.and one more thing, I know this is going to sound annoying but keep your temper under control no matter what. see you very soon,

love, Hermione.

Harry put the letter in his pocket and felt just a cinch better. he was worried about Ginny but he had tried not to think about it. hermione really stuck it back in his mind but he knew that once he went to the burrow things would get better.

'look boys, nerd of the year.' a shrill voice pierced through his thoughts like an arrow, his hand instinctively went to his wand and he looked up.

paul was standing just in front of him with Dudley Dudley beside him. Harry hadn't seen Dudley during his stay at privet drive mainly because now he and his gang hung out all day and night doing who knows what but Harry had a shrewd idea of who had stolen a car, two wallets and numerous things from the neighborhood. Paul had come into Dudley's gang the previous year and was just like his cousin though considerably lighter on the weight.

'come on Paul, why waste time with a freak like him' Dudley said casually hiding a fear Harry knew definitely existed.

'no, no big D' paul said with a mad glare 'I'm in the mood for some fun'

'get lost punk' Harry said standing up, he was not in the slightest afraid, he knew Dudley would never let them attack and even if they did he surely would resort to what he called 'the hard way'

'what did you call me?' Paul said angrily clenching his fists

'what's the matter, got hearing problems' Harry said calmly then added 'punk'

'oh you're gonna get it' the bully said raisng his fists but Dudley stopped him.

'don't paul, one hit will kill him and you'll have to deal with the cops'

'don't care big D, I can handle the cops' Paul said raising his fist again

it happened so quick that Harry didn't realize it happened. paul's fist swinged and Harry muttered 'stupefy', next second all the wind had been knocked out of him as a fist made contact with his jaw. Harry opened his eyes about ten minutes later to excruciating pain in his left jaw, for a moment he was dazed but then he suddenly sat up and looked around. no one was in site. Harry stood up and put his hand in his pocket, his wand was not there. he was for the first time afraid but there it was on the ground looking undamaged. it had,luckily, fallen beneath him as he fell. he picked it up and quickly pocketed it. he hurried back towards the house,

once inside his room he locked the door and threw himself on his bed, breathing hard and trying to calm down. Questions flared through his mind, why hadn't his wand worked? What if it were somehow disabled? What if voldemort knew? What if he sends someone to kill Harry? What if...

Stop; he ordered himself. This is getting nowhere; there must be a logical explanation. But suddenly he felt relieved; what if the spell didn't work because he hadn't concentrated right and before this he had always said it aloud. There was one way to support this theory but Harry couldn't bring himself to do it. Could he risk it? The only way was if he performed a spell but that could get him in trouble with the ministry. Just what he needed the ministry on his tail while he looked for parts of Voldemort soul. Yet if the wand didn't work he could be in serious danger. He was thinking so much that his head began to ache.

After a while of thinking he decided that he should try a spell, mostly because he was sure the spell wouldn't work. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the empty glass on his bedside table 'aguamenti' he said clearly and concentrating. The glass was still empty. He fear raised to the peak again, what should he do now, who should he tell? Ron and Hermione!

He picked up a quill and parchment and started but stopped what would Ron and Hermione know about wands that suddenly stopped working. Maybe Hermione had read a thing or two about it but he really needed to consult an expert. He would have contacted ollivander but unfortunately he had vanished the previous year and Harry didn't really know any other wand maker in diagon alley.

What he needed was someone who could give him advice, who knew a thing or two about wands. Then something suddenly clicked into place 'Lupin'. Remus Lupin, if not an expert, would surely know something of the sort as he had more experience than Ron or Hermione. He immediately started writing:

Dear professor Lupin,

I hope you are doing fine and have reorganized the order. I'm writing to you because I have a problem. I know I shouldn't be using magic before I come of age but it was necessary and I had to use a spell. But it didn't work, I've tried again but my wand isn't working. I don't know any wand makers so I thought that I should tell you. Please reply as soon as possible.

Harry.

Harry hurriedly tied the letter to Hedwig's leg and told her to deliver it quickly. She was off into the clear sky and as soon as she was out of sight Harry sank back into his bed again. He had not noticed it that much because he was worried but the pain in his jaw was still tremendous. He went out of his room and silently into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out and ice bag. He carried it back to his room and held it onto his jaw. It relieved the pain slightly and Harry started thinking again. When would professor Lupin write back, quickly; he hoped.

Dudley came home late that night and Harry could hear uncle Vernon giving him a lecture. This was unusual but Dudley had been once caught by the police and uncle Vernon had then registered dimly what Dudley and his gang were up to. Harry really wanted to go down and hit him but Dudley unfortunately was much bigger than him.

The next day Harry sat up until afternoon waiting for the letter and at about two it finally came.

Harry

I was really surprised when I read your letter. That is one of the rare cases in the wizarding world. I immediately contacted - the other wand maker. He told me that very rarely does this happen but it is not the first time. I'm writing to you exactly what he wrote to me:

The wand is more than a thin stick of wood. It is the origin of all magic in the world, but the wand also has its origin. The creature from which core of the wand is taken is always magical and though the creature has given off the feather or hair there always remains a connection between them. Rarely there comes a time when the wand stops working, this is due to the fact that the creature is dead or in such pain or agony that the part inside the wand is affected. Once or twice this has happened when the creature wants a message sent to that particular person though this mostly happens in the case of the phoenix. One must not worry as this is a temporary phase and is over in an hour or so.'

I don't know which case your wand is resorting to Harry but don't worry it'll be over and if you're worried about you protection than don't because if something comes up, someone from the order will be there within seconds. Tonks told me to say hi to you. Take care.

Remus Lupin.

Harry felt relieved after reading the letter. He had thought that his wand had stopped working forever. But then he began to worry again, his wand's core contained the feather of a phoenix, Fawkes' feather. Harry knew that Fawkes was upset and in agony because he could not bear Dumbledore's death but he thought there was more to this. Did that mean that Fawkes was trying to send a message to him? What was so important? Harry thought that it must have something to do with Dumbledore as the phoenix was his pet.

But then a horrifying thought came into his mind. Fawkes' had provided another feather, and that feather resided in another person's wand, Voldemort wand.