She'd been sixteen when they'd told her.
White lab coats then had become to her a sign of something wrong with her.
She'd remembered clasping her hands together and fighting back tears; what if no one would ever love her like she was or if no one could look at her the same way.
Bonnibel remembers going home, numb, listening to her mother's cries of, "They got it wrong, honey. I'm sure you're just fine. That boy in school will still be nice to you. You're normal; you're a regular Omega."
She remembers not really processing the meaning of the words; she remembers rushing up the stairs.
Bonnibel remembers nearly slamming her bedroom door and dropping on to her bed, crying like she didn't really have long left at all.
She remembers waking up with tear soaked palms and wishing it was all a dream with a vague recollection of the past events as if they were dreams all loosely tied together.
Bonnie remembers walking down the stairs and hearing her mother briefly explain what the doctor had said and hearing her ask her husband if they should try for another kid.
Bonnibel remembers breaking down again, remembers hearing her mother's startled gasp, and remembers when they held her as if she were only a small shard to a much larger piece of glass.
She knew the rest of the day to be a blur, full of pain.
She'd told the boy in school that was nice to her; he was an Alpha that acted a little more Beta like.
Bonnibel never talked to him again; he'd left her life, face full of grim.
She'd cried that day too, not out of heartbreak that would imply that she had romantic feelings for him at all, but out of a hopelessness that clung to her, told her that she wouldn't ever be loved in that way, not again.
Her heats came and went and felt much more like a pointless burden, and she knew that no Alpha found her attractive and knew that the story from that day had probably gotten around.
She was surprised that no one had started calling her an useless Omega at school yet; she barely graduated.
Bonnibel was the top of her class despite being an Omega, but fell behind to be one of the worst of her class, just as her self esteem collapsed on her.
She still stares out the window sometimes and wonders why her, why was she born this way.
Her parents did not have a second child then; it would take years of trying, of just longing for someone to keep their family alive as if their daughter was in fact a fraud and as if she was worthless.
She did have the crown though that was not any consolation as she still found herself hating who she was, the problems with her, more every passing day.
The day that she'd met Marceline was as if suddenly a night passed by almost passionately glamorous in its own oddities and yet as if the sun had finally came out.
Marceline talked to her, loved to talk to her in fact; she was curious about who Bonnibel was, not her family or her crown or her younger brother.
She wanted to know all that she could about her, listened to every word she said, and did not ask why the princess had never found a suitor.
Marceline was royalty elsewhere, was an Alpha female, lived life as if she was not an oddity and as if everyone should be excited to see her.
She wasn't really arrogant; she was more spontaneous though not entirely.
Bonnibel loved listening to Marceline play guitar and watching the way her fingers moved precisely, not lost at all.
She wondered if the other knew though never asked.
The endless day of joy ended when Marceline asked her out; it was a simple question though scary in regards to others.
"I can't have any kids." Was Bonnibel's answer, hurt masked behind years of experience; she was in her twenties now and had had the time to adjust and learn to hide it.
"So what? I've been told my whole life that I likely wouldn't have any." Marceline shrugged and gave her a stare that really did show that she cared.
"It's different for me. You could have kids, possibly a couple of them, if you met some other Omega, but with me, I can't get pregnant." Tears pooled in eyes normally sweet with emotion, and Bonnibel tried to fight off the nervous shivers from being stared at.
"It wouldn't be the same without you." It was muttered so very softly that Bonnibel had nearly missed it.
"I still can't be a normal Omega." Bonnibel muttered, watching the expression on Marceline's face, waiting for the disgust to appear.
"It doesn't matter. We could adopt if we so choose or may be someone can develop a way for us to be able to have kids together sometime in the future." Marceline was determined regardless of the impossibility of them having kids together despite being an Alpha and Omega couple if she said 'yes.'
"We can't always have that kind of hope." Her voice broke, and Bonnibel stared off into space as if there was really no hope for a decent relationship with her inability to get pregnant.
"We can have at least a little bit of hope for the future." Marceline muttered as she stared at the girl that she'd fallen for more than anything.
"I don't think we can manage. My parents had another kid, because I'm a disappointment, and we can't really have our own kids." Bonnibel muttered.
"I'd rather take my chances and be with you than give up, because it's going to be a little difficult." Marceline stated, and she'd do whatever it took to be with Bonnibel; she had fallen really hard for her.
"Okay." Bonnibel stared back at her and tried to smile again, "I guess we can try."
She'd started to fall for the darker haired girl the moment she'd met her but refused to give herself a chance to hope or dream that they could ever truly be together.
Bonnibel would try, and she'd try for Marceline and for herself; may be one day, she'd be able to live with the one she loved regardless of her own inability to have kids.
She'd always wanted kids; she'd grown up daydreaming about raising a family with the one she loved.
Bonnibel had had to give those dreams up a while ago when she found out that she could not have her own though she felt the tiniest string of hope emerging in her chest, reminding her that even in an odd way, things could work themselves out.
