We've been partners for ten years.

I can still remember back to that day when I took him in, just a broken man in a vest and a suit.

The job cleaned him up, for sure. But I still like to think that I had something to do with it.

I know that his obsession with Red John is unhealthy...but I can't change that. He is the only one with the power to change himself.

Even though we've saved each other's lives so many times, I still feel as if each day is a struggle. A struggle to keep him alive. Keep him alive to me.

Because each day I find him slipping away, and I have to catch him. But often he still slides just out of my reach. And it's killing me as much as it is killing him.

I know he cares about me, but he still manages to lie, manipulate and cheat throughout our relationship.

All he ever does is theorize about Red John in his attic room, and it's like I never see him anymore.

I miss arguing about tedious topics, and teasing him about how he operates.

But he's trying to push away, and if he keeps this up, he'll succeed.