The Feasts of New Erebor
FiliKili, Thilbo Bagginshield, Balidalf
Disclaimer: If I owned there would have been a not PG-13 version of the movie. And Richard Armitage would be my personal singer. Fact
A.N. This is my take on the feast after the claiming of Erebor and other shenanigans. AU for people kept alive and character and plot differences. And I added Gandalf in a pairing because I respect Ian McKellan as an actor and in a way this is a tribute to him and his bravery in supporting his (and my) sexuality
Summary: The battle of Five Armies was brutal. There were thousands dead on both sides, but through all of the misery and gore there was happiness… and drinking…and very, very dirty dancing.
In the aftermath of the Battle of Five Armies Thorin had roared thunderously until the unconscious body of a certain hobbit was brought to him. At which point he roared louder.
"DAMN IT! IS THERE NOTHING MORE THAT YOU CAN DO?"
"Sir, the only thing to do now is wait. Master Bilbo sustained an injury from a poisoned Orc arrow." It was obvious by the Healer's tone that his patience was wearing thin.
With a final grumbling glare toward anyone in the vicinity (Including, but not limited to ; Bombur, Bifur, Balin, Gandalf, Ori, Nori, Fili and Kili) Thorin took off at a run to the chambers where Bilbo rested.
"YOUR HIGHNESS,!" The healer yelled after him, "MASTER BI- Oh, never mind. Why do I bother?"
Gandalf patted the poor, exhausted Healer and said, "The lad is worried about his lover. Don't fret."
The healer rolled his eyes. The assembled Dwarves laughed and tossed knowing looks at the pair of brothers, who were clutching each other as though Smaug were reanimated and coming toward them. Fili and Kili had not left each other at any point in the battle at all.
When all had calmed reasonably there were several new couples sitting together at the celebratory feast. Among them a fully recovered and blushing Bilbo, sitting on a beaming and laughing Thorin's broad thighs, and more-than-brotherly Fili and Kili, who were looking about them warily as though expecting some form of extreme reprimand, or ghost of ancestors to damn them and their children. (For Dwarf males could carry children as well as any female, it was just rather frowned upon.) The feast was the most grand in the land since the loss of Erebor.
As the feast continued even the most embarrassed and worried of the people, namely Bilbo, Kili, and Balin, who had ambushed Gandalf in a closet earlier in the evening, relaxed and drank and laughed along with everyone else.
At one point Bilbo hopped from Thorin's lap and pulled Kili and Balin from the clutches of their lovers as well.
The three had sat in a rather dark corner of the room and had conspired to get insanely drunk, thus forcing their respective lovers to take them to bed, at which point they would spring on them.
Bilbo was the first to raise a question. "And do what ?"
Balin and Kili gazed at him with twin looks of disbeilef.
Balin answered him, if slowly. "Have you ever been with another?"
Bilbo was flustered by the question, and he blushed. " Well, erm of course, a male in fact. B-but what has that to do with anything, If I might ask?"
Kili rolled his eyes. "You know Balin, our king seems impatient enough. He'd probably beat Bilbo to the punch."
Balin nodded wisely. "Bilbo, there has been a change of plan for you."
Bilbo was bewildered. "And what is that ?"
"Get drunk off your Hobbit ass." Said Balin and Kili
At about midnight Bilbo had consumed enough ale, mead and beer to knock flat a fully-grown Dwarf, and Balin and Kili were not much behind. The point of recognition for their respective lovers, Thorin especially, was when the band began playing songs with more rhythm and tempo.
The three drunkards were dancing rather crazily, grinding against each other, undulating and gyrating wildly. Gandalf and Fili were on their feet instantly to retrieve their lovers from further humiliation. Thorin put his arm out to stop them however.
"No, wait." When his request was met with quizzical looks he responded, "Just watch."
All eyes were now on the space in the dining area that had been cleared and called the dance floor. Kili was behind Bilbo and running his hands over the others' shoulders, while thrusting against him gently to the beat of the drums and nuzzling his neck.
Balin strode toward them, obviously upset about being excluded. Bilbo pulled him close and kissed the older Dwarf.
By this point all three of them had been watching them with increasing libido, and Thorin exploding from their midst to grab a rather shocked Bilbo from between Kili and Balin, shocked them from their reverie. The other two sprang from their spots as quickly as Thorin had. However the Dwarf King and his Hobbit had disappeared, Gandalf peeled Balin from Kili and chuckled.
"Where do you suppose Thorin has gone?"
Fili chuckled darkly. "The same place as the rest of us pretty soon."
Meanwhile Bilbo had transferred from underneath Thorin's arm to having his own pinned to the wall above his head. Thorin pressed Bilbo's body to the wall with his own and kissed the Hobbit. They continued in this fashion until they both had a need for oxygen that overruled their need for each other.
"You. Are. Mine. Bilbo Baggins, do you understand that ? Mine!" Thorin growled, pressing his head to Bilbo's.
Bilbo managed a strangled yes, whimpering at the lack of contact and pent-up chuckled and gathered Bilbo into his arms and kissed him again, less savagely. The pair continued down the hall in the same way until reaching the door to their room, which was promptly kicked and Bilbo was not seen for the remainder of the evening and most of the next morning.
A.N. Thoughts? Questions? Comments? I'm debating about doing another chapter or two what do you think? Reviews are love!
