A/N: Thought of this while listening to the song Sympathy for the Devil by the Rolling Stones. Always wondered where is the Devil. So here it is. The Devil's point of view on the Winchesters. Another one shot without any big plot and set during the end of season three, but NO SPOILERS! So no worry! Enjoy.
Dedicated to all the fans of SPN and to the show, the actors and Kripke the Man who brings us together!
Disclaimer: Don't own them. Never will. This disclaimers are making me depressive!
Sympathy for the Devil
Evil is the total absence of Good. Hell is a place without God's mercy and goodness. Yes, that would be putting things into a nutshell. So much easier to the large masses to deal with. You do bad things, and if you don't repent you got to Hell. You repent, you go to Purgatory. You are a goody and you go to Heaven. Math has never sounded so simple. Yet it also had a lot of complications to deal with. like self sacrifice, killing in self defense and some similar situations. But I am not going to talk about that here. I am going to be a narcissistic bastard and talk about myself. Yes, myself. And who am I?
I am Lucifer. The Unholy One, The Fallen Angel, The Fallen One, The Little Horns, Prince of Darkness, Beelzebub, Satan, Al Pacino in Devil's advocate… You know. All the usual pet names for the Man.
Why am I so important? That's a good question, but also for some other occasion. To put it in a nutshell again, I'm a very busy and popular guy.
To begin with the story. I was this lovely angelic creature who served in Heaven. Then God made humans. Then shit hit the fence cause I wasn't willing to bow down before them. they sucked. They are stupid, moral and with no special meaning besides the whole they are God's children. So I was kicked out of Heaven. Fallen out of His grace. Ah, big deal. I adapted and formed my own exclusive club. Ha! Take that.
So basically I am that snake with that shiny red apple. If you want to take it that literally. But I grew tired of that too. Always the same, get the souls of the sinners and book them in for eternal damnation. I needed a change. So I left. I actually left my own minions to deal with everything and since then I am lurking around the world of mortals. Watching them wage wars against each other, killing themselves and racking havoc. Sometimes I actually wonder what's the point.
Here I am. Shitville, USA. Sitting in a bar, nursing a glass of whisky and contemplating the irony of my existence. At the moment, I'm pondering about the irony of me spending the eternity among the kind I never wanted to bow to. But it's better than Heaven. You know how they say I said. I didn't but, it's catchy. It's better to rule in Hell, than serve in Heaven. Maybe there is some truth there. I mean, everything is about choosing.
At the moment I took a form of a man in his early thirties with dark blond hair and a almost sapphire set of blue eyes. So, I am vain. Threw me into Hell for that sin. And so here I am. Pondering. Thinking. When two guys walk in. the air starts vibrating and my body's nose smells the awful stench of salt and holy water. When my head popped up and I looked at them, my lips turned into a smirk. I knew who this hunters were. Not just hunters, but the Hunters.
The Winchesters. Sam and Dean Winchester. It would be John Winchester too, but he is dead. Sold his soul for his… Hold on, I'll start from the start.
Once upon a time… Ha! This aint a fairytale. There was this evil demon named Yellow Eyed Demon cause he had yellow eyes and was a demon. I know, really original. His real name was Azazel and he was once a seraphim. I convinced him to join me and he did. So he became Azazel, the Yellow Eyed
Demon. Why? He killed Mary Winchester along with many other mothers. Mary Winchester was mother of Sam and Dean and John's wife. But Azazel was building an army for who knows what reason and was creating special kids. And Sam became one of his special kids. Not only special in a lost, angst ridden young male who girls just wanna cuddle until his eyeballs pop out, but special in Yoda kind of way. You know floating stuff, throwing people around and getting premonitions.
It would have all ended right there that night if Johnny boy wasn't hell bent on finding the son of a bitch who killed his wife. And against all odds of common sense and logical reasoning, he raised his two sons to hunt down evil. Scuse me, evil first, then they realised not all creatures different from the humans are evil, so blah, blabbity blah. You know the drill. You all saw Buffy, the vampire slayer.
I wouldn't be as half as I am impressed if they didn't actually succeeded in their mission. They killed Azazel. But not before they get their asses handed to them on a silver platter. It was a close call. It always is with the Winchesters. Oldest son, Dean, the belligerent one with the car, was near death so daddy jumped in. Made a deal with Azazel and traded his soul for his son's life. Daddy gone bye bye, Deanie alive and kicking. And they lived happily ever after.
Ha! Fat chance. We are talking about the Winchesters. Now, they really needed to find the son of a bitch cause now he killed both parents. And Sam is turning evil. Or not. Or Dean was half deaf when daddy told him that. Or I was too far. Not sure, but the cuddly one wont be cuddly much longer.
So Dean, the belligerent one and Sam, the cuddly one went back on the hunt. Oh, joy. It's like a really awesome TV show just it isn't. Or the ratings just suck cause I am the only vigilant audience? Ah, who cares? People are dying, people are killing people and I haven't had so much fun in awhile.
Then, just then when you thought everything will be fine and they will kill the son of a bitch, everything goes to shit. Of course it does. The cuddly one, Sam, Sammy, no wait only Dean gets to call him that. Hey! I am the Devil, I'll call him the way I want. So, Sammy got his spine broke in an amateur operation by an another special child named Jake. Or how sad that was. The cuddly one was bye bye too now. Join his daddy, actually no, daddy is in Hell. Well then joined his mother. But not for long. Here comes the Dean. apparently the boy has no self-preservation. Even I saw how stupid his action was and I am profiting from him.
Anyway, the boy sold his soul. To get his brother back from the dead. Do I even have to mention how many rules were broken here? Which some of them I wouldn't even tangle with? The irony and stupidity of his action was beyond me. Seriously. It made me stay awhile longer with them.
So the cuddly one was back and the belligerent one was screwed.
You know what they did more?? They opened the Hell's gate. Yep, my gate. Of my exclusive club and let all those bastards out. Well, not my problem. Not at all. You saw, you reap, or some crap like that. Who knows, who cares? So all those demons were out now. Some of them are vicious and devious and don't belong here. so much for my peace and quiet time. Now I have to lay low so I wont be spotted. If they spot me, I'll have to deal with them again. As I said, not my problem.
Then it started. The war. Demons building on one side, Azazel's army and cuddly and belligerent one on the other side. Like watching the finale of the Unearthly Superbowl. Anyway, it turns out the screwed one had a year more to live then bye bye. And no tempering with the deal or Sammy goes back to bye bye. Must say, my little smart girl that Crossroads demon. I'm so proud of her. but she's dead now. Gone. She should have paid more attention. Those Winchesters like the revenge. Cuddly shot her.
So there we all are. Me sitting at the table few feet away from the dynamic duo. Listening to their vivid discussion about the demons and how the exorcism should work. I noticed that I never spoke with them. And I should. It's like wanting to chat with your favourite actors who play your dear roles in a show you're very fond off. You know? Like a fan!
So, there was I. Moving through the bar, changing my form to a form of a girl in her late twenties and reaching the bar. The jukebox came to life with a flip of a finger. First few tunes of my favourite song came through the haze. Nobody paid attention. Nobody knew. They were sitting there, drinking beer when I came and sat next to Sam.
Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith
"You both look tired." I spoke with a girly voice and Dean's eyes snapped toward me.
"Well, now… You know any good rooms around here?" he spoke with the suave voice.
Sam looked like he was about to gag all over my shoes. You gag and I'll turn you into dust, Sammy.
"Motel Sunshine. Down the road." Did I knew what I was talking about? Hell no!
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
"You look familiar. Have we met?" Sam suddenly asked.
Smart boy.
"No, and I hope it will stay that way."
Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
"Why?" Sam asked, always the curious one while Dean frowned.
For the sake of the conversation and the fact that I must say I am intrigued by them, I didn't intnt on reading their mind.
Then a thought struck me. I'll give them something to think about.
Just call me Lucifer
Cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
"Why?" I asked, smiling evilly, then I reached behind my back, materialising a small object.
Both of them grew vigilant, but I just smiled and took the red and shiny object out. Sam's eyes widened and Dean stared in wonder. Then I could see Sam's wheels turning in his head.
"How about an apple?" I asked to seal the deal.
Sam's eyes widened and I smiled. Then he grabbed his brother and snatched him away toward the door. the conversation that went outside was extremely funny.
"The hell, dude…" came Dean's rumble.
"Exactly that." Sam said in slightly panicked voice.
"What??" the whiny grumble was more than familiar to me.
"I think we just met Lucifer." Sam spoke in a low hush.
Like my name was a blasphemy. It wasn't the name that is blasphemy.
"Yes, Sam. Lucifer is lurking around Bunny's foot in Shitville, USA. Offering people apples. Seriously, we need to check out that big head of yours."
I went outside and stood in the darkness. I can take any form I want, you know. I am the Devil. So when Sam turned around to gaze at the bar one last time, I twitched my long dark tail and waved at him. The expression was worthy of it. Even Dean noticed something was wrong, but by the time he turned around, I was long gone.
These two were fun. Way funnier on this plane then locked up in Hell. Hope they'll find more ways to entertain me. Till then, I have all the world on my disposer. All of you to mess with and watch how you cope with the realm and yourselves.
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politicise
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
A/N2: Hope you liked it. A bit of a crack fic. Read and please review. This is just my second story. How to kill a Tooth Fairy got great reviews so I just had to write another one!!
