Author's note: Song-fic based on "The Joker" by Steve Miller Band. I don't own the song, or Hetalia.

You were working at a fruit stand down south. The fruit stand helped you earn a little extra money on the side of your job as a waitress, and was located in a park a block down from the college campus where you had graduated two years earlier. Every day, you'd set up the stand, filled with locally grown fruits and vegetables, and wait for someone to wander by to buy some produce. And every day, at 12 O'clock, the same blonde haired boy would walk up, buy a peach, sit down on a bench nearby, and start picking at his guitar in the afternoon sun. The boy, you noticed, was always smiling. And it wasn't a slight smile. He was a grinner.

One day, when he walked up to your stand and started his daily debate on which peach to buy, you decided to speak to him. "What's your name?" you asked, tilting your head sideways.

Without looking up, he replied "Some people call me the Space Cowboy." You looked at him weird, wondering if you'd heard correctly, but the boy just looked up and smiled at you. "Some call me the gangster of love." You smiled back at the boy. "Some people call me Alfred."

" And why is that?" You said with a laugh.

He grabbed your hand and kissed it lightly. "Cause I speak of the pompetous of love."

You gave him a confused look. "Is that even a word?" you thought to yourself. One of the many college students who passed by your stand daily pointed at Alfred and whispered something to her friend, who laughed loudly and nastily.

Alfred rolled his eyes. "People talk about me. Say I do wrong." He seemed to be able to read your thoughts, because just as you began to worry about exactly what this boy did in his spare time, (He was a college boy, after all) he patted your hand and said "But don't you worry baby. I don't go where I don't belong."

He picked out a peach and dug into his pocket to pay for it. As he did so, you noticed a pack of cigarettes in his pocket.

"You a smoker?" you asked him.

He nodded. "Only at night."

He handed you a few cents for a single peach, then smiled at you again. "You're the cutest girl that I ever did see." You looked up at him, startled. "I really love these peaches." He continued, taking a bite of the one he'd just purchased. He smiled deviously "I'd shake your tree."

You laughed at the boy's blatant and frankly horrible innuendo towards you, and played along. "I'd sure show you a good time."

He smiled wider. "I don't want to hurt no one." The boy grabbed your hand and a pen that was lying on the fruit stand, writing down his number as you laughed. "I'll call you" he said with a wink. The boy walked away, humming a tune and eating the peach he had just purchased.

Author's note: I know it's not very good, but it popped into my head while listening to the song. If you don't know the song here's a link: watch?v=zOciLbU-NG8

A midnight toker is someone who only smokes at night.

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